Squirrels go nuts on crack (addicts hide drugs in gardens; our furry friends dig it up)

The Sun (U.K.); ^ | October 7, 2005 | VIRGINIA WHEELER

[Stoat]

Squirrels go nuts on crack

Squirrels ... digging up stashes
 

By VIRGINIA WHEELER

 SQUIRRELS are getting hooked on crack cocaine — hidden by addicts in gardens.

They are digging up the stashes and eating the mega-addictive drug, which comes in small chunks.

Several have been spotted behaving bizarrely in Brixton, South London, since a police blitz against pushers and users.

One resident said: “My neighbour said dealers had used my garden to hide crack.

“Just an hour earlier I’d seen a squirrel digging in the flower-beds.

“It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot, but it kept on desperately digging. It seems a strange thing to say, but it seemed to know what it was looking for.”

Other residents have seen squirrels become unusually aggressive.

The RSPCA said: “These animals are big foragers. They are attracted by smell and will dig up what they fancy.

“If a squirrel did open a bag of crack and start consuming it there is no doubt it would die pretty quickly.”

Crack squirrels are a recognised problem in America. They are common in parks used by addicts in New York and Washington DC.

They have been known to attack park visitors in their search for a fix.

[Allosaurs_r_us]

I think all of our squirrels must be already liberal. They do nothing but sit up in their trees antagonizing the dog, who I am sure is a stone cold Pubbie! She has to be, I raized her right. (pun intented.....LOL)

[martin_fierro]

Ping, my liege.

[Trajan88]

Hide the stash in the Honeycomb Hideout... the little beasties will never find it there.

[NRA2BFree]

Now I know where the plumbers eat.

LOL! No doubt that you could find them at any corner bar in the US! :o)

[MamaTexan]

[mmercier]

Who can say in this freak show world, maybe the squirrels are smoking crack now as junkies drop working lighters and pipes too.

I have also read reports of al Queda operatives posing as garden gnomes. They have bread down midgets, coated them in plaster and are now waiting for full deployment to reap mayhem on the unsuspecting buyers.

I like the picture of the squirrel eating the bird, like the dog who eats cabbage it is a simple anomaly caught on film or just manufactured for entertainment value. Seeing as the squirrel is sitting on snow, he is likely awake early because he was starving and unable to dig in the frozen ground. Otherwise, he was so jonsing for a hit that he lost it and ate a sparrow instead..

[mmercier]

>> If simple strategies like these do not work, there are many food additives, feeders, and contraptions available for purchase that claim to prevent squirrels eating bird food.

A .22 subsonic round works better than greasing a bird feeder pole, IMHO. Where I live the squirrels have more rights than the peasantry; for me fourth of July week is squirrel death week.

LMAO, I can not believe I am back here again..

[King Prout]

junkie squirrels attack!

[HP8753]

Good,But there could be some of the crack addicted ones out there.

I'm gonna keep my eyes open!! ;-)

[festus]

My neighbour said dealers had used my garden to hide crack.

Thats my story your honor and I'm stickin to it...........

Right up there with "Your honor the stuff must a been buried there by those crack-head squirrels."

[Stoat]

Of course I am fully aware of your legendary detective skills as right-hand man to Marshall Matt Dillon, and of course I appreciate your fine service to the community and the country in that capacity. However, I sincerely hope that you appreciate the gravity of what you suggest. When you question the veracity of this story, you cast into question the reputation of the legendary Virginia Wheeler, whose picture can be appreciated at post #46. Her photo exudes complete trust and I find a slur against her journalistic character, especially as published in the Sun, long regarded as a stellar source of unvarnished and unembellished truth to be a breathtaking assertion indeed.

I ask you to reconsider your position and perhaps amend it if you find that course of action appropriate.

Thank you.

[Schwaeky]

and an itty bitty basketball :) j/k...

[pissant]

This is WAY too funny!!! I was wondering why the squirrels in the hood had their pants riding low exposing their butts...

[ArrogantBustard]

I suppose this is where flying squirrels come from ...

[Stoat]

I was wondering why the squirrels in the hood had their pants riding low exposing their butts...

This could definitely be part of the behavior associated with crack-addicted squirrels.  Further study is obviously indicated to find out for sure, and you probably have a winning theme for a lucrative Government grant with this.  When you win your grant, if you could please keep me in mind as an assistant to your project I would sincerely appreciate it.  Stoats are great tree-climbers and I could investigate reports of squirrel crack-dens in the upper treetops while you scout the lower regions.  We could use comparative photography (before and after pictures) to isolate and examine specific squirrel fashion concepts before and after the ingestion of the drugs.  Deal?

[Stoat]

I suppose this is where flying squirrels come from ...

This is definitely true, as documented by a rare action photo graciously provided by FReeper 'counterpunch' in post # 10. 

[pissant]

I'll apply for the grant money today!!

[Stoat]

I'll apply for the grant money today!!

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[pissant]

LOL. The squirrels in my yard would appreciate us researching them instead of what I normally do....shoot 'em!