Next, we'll be hearing of hedgehogs using the discarded needles from druggies in parks, and invading methadone clinics. I love squirrels! How dare they print such vile slander! LOL.
I mean, c'mon. Any chunk of crack worth stashing away (and who's EVER heard of a druggie not having his or her stash close and within eyesight), if ingested by such a small animal, would probably kill the squirrel instantly - that's if the squirrel actually found it appetizing! I sadly have smelled crack being smoked, and it's not a pleasant smell, I can only imagine the taste!
Seriously, this all sounds like a rejected Monty Python sketch.