Posted on 09/22/2005 5:48:16 PM PDT by wagglebee
We hear a lot of talk these days about the need to protect and strengthen the traditional American family. Certainly, it is true that the institution of marriage is under attack from every side. But the real threat comes from the multitudes of couples that fail to honor their marriage vows.
Adultery is one of the most terrible "facts of life" in contemporary America. If you watch the daily soap operas on TV many of which are just soft-core pornography you might get the impression that there are more people cheating on their spouses than remaining faithful. And you might be right.
How many people have affairs? That's hard to say because not everybody will answer honestly. But sex therapist Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth conservatively estimates that about 60 percent of married men and 40 percent of married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners basically agrees.
Since these books were written more than a decade ago, and since more women are leaving the home and entering the workforce, the number of wives having affairs may also have reached the 60 percent range.
Americans have a schizophrenic attitude toward adultery.
While 90 percent admit that adultery is morally wrong, according to a Time-CNN poll, 50 percent say that President Bill Clinton's morals are "about the same as the average married man." While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime, 61 percent think it shouldn't.
Having an affair simply doesn't carry the social stigma that it once did.
According to Playboy magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.
Why do husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? Psychologists cite subjective issues like loss of love and feelings of alienation. Certainly the media pressure of our sex-saturated society is a significant influence.
But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.
Statistics show that 25 percent of all Internet search engine requests are related to pornography.
According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, "approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet." And while 76 percent of women feel that phone sex or cyber-sex is the equivalent of committing adultery, only 41 percent of men do.
Dr. Alvin Cooper and MSNBC.com conducted an online poll of 38,000 people, and 10 percent admitted that they were addicted to Internet pornography.
What's more, a lot of those Internet sex addicts eventually progress from cyber-sex to real-time sexual affairs.
Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," explains J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents. After a divorce, many children are unable ever to develop strong, trusting relationships.
There is a direct correlation between the steady decline of morals and values in America and this more accepting contemporary attitude toward adultery. Part of the reason is because most people have forgotten what a marriage really is.
Marriage is more than just a legal status recognized by the state, or even a temporary social contract between two people.
True marriage is a solemn covenant relationship between a man, a woman and God. It is a hallowed institution that should be revered, cherished, and preserved.
The act of adultery is childish and selfish, and it hurts everyone involved.
It violates at least two of the Ten Commandments: the clear prohibitions against committing adultery and coveting your neighbor's spouse.
If we care about the future of our great nation, we as a people must relearn the virtue and necessity of staying committed to the spouses to whom we are married.
The naive, the stupid and the 94 pound fashion model on a five day coke binge are all to be feared.
Actually I misstated it a bit and want to be clearer. If children are in the picture, they are hurt no matter what course of action is taken.
If the two parties try to reconcile the added stresses will be taken out on any children around from time to time. They suffer a harm.
If one party leaves, the children will absorb the added stresses of that situation. They suffer harm.
So they have been hurt when the decision has been made to cheat and natural consequences follow. Whether they try to make it work or not, the children suffer a harm.
It cancels itself out.
"Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs."
If this is true, statistics would show a big increase in divorces, over the last few years (since widespread internet use).
I doubt such a dramatic increase in divorces has occured, so the legal professionals' estimate is simply wrong.
Sounds like emotional factoring.
(Sorry, just discovering algebra for the 2nd time around).
Yep, why not? :-)
No, it wasn't even remotely grounded in truth. It was paranoia is what it was. Damn womyns out there in the work place anyway. Keep this stuff up and they'll be thinking they can vote or anything. Gads, what if one of them ever achieves a cabinet level post like secretary of state?
I'm not agreeing. Children deal much better with a reconciliation than the alternative.
bttt
Fair enough. I think the added emotional, mental, etc energy of reconciliation creates comperable (though not identical) stresses when compared to quitting and cutting your losses.
That's not to say identical stresses or identical harm, but probably comperable.
Basically, I think that if reconciliation works you are more right than I am. But I figure the odds of a workable reconciliation are worse than the odds of an unworkable reconciliation, which harms the kids as I suggested.
My pastor in the 70's liked buck rogers series,cause they had some buxom babes!. I think its far time our women folk realized that us men like lookin at women,but we still love yas!
Erin Gray is pretty hot!
Heel yah!!~
why cant we love women as a species?
I had the hots for her, but my #1 tv babe of all time is Lynda Carter. Barbara Feldon is #2. A few dozen probably tie for #3! :-)
I saw the movie 'Species' and I love that woman, for what that's worth.
well linda carter was too much for me,with the lasoo of truth.
real women arent afraid of our fixations
I'm sure he feels the sameway.
Do you live up to your screen name?
what about that evil girl? that nobody remembers?
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