Actually I misstated it a bit and want to be clearer. If children are in the picture, they are hurt no matter what course of action is taken.
If the two parties try to reconcile the added stresses will be taken out on any children around from time to time. They suffer a harm.
If one party leaves, the children will absorb the added stresses of that situation. They suffer harm.
So they have been hurt when the decision has been made to cheat and natural consequences follow. Whether they try to make it work or not, the children suffer a harm.
It cancels itself out.
Sounds like emotional factoring.
(Sorry, just discovering algebra for the 2nd time around).
I'm not agreeing. Children deal much better with a reconciliation than the alternative.