Posted on 09/22/2005 5:48:16 PM PDT by wagglebee
We hear a lot of talk these days about the need to protect and strengthen the traditional American family. Certainly, it is true that the institution of marriage is under attack from every side. But the real threat comes from the multitudes of couples that fail to honor their marriage vows.
Adultery is one of the most terrible "facts of life" in contemporary America. If you watch the daily soap operas on TV many of which are just soft-core pornography you might get the impression that there are more people cheating on their spouses than remaining faithful. And you might be right.
How many people have affairs? That's hard to say because not everybody will answer honestly. But sex therapist Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth conservatively estimates that about 60 percent of married men and 40 percent of married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners basically agrees.
Since these books were written more than a decade ago, and since more women are leaving the home and entering the workforce, the number of wives having affairs may also have reached the 60 percent range.
Americans have a schizophrenic attitude toward adultery.
While 90 percent admit that adultery is morally wrong, according to a Time-CNN poll, 50 percent say that President Bill Clinton's morals are "about the same as the average married man." While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime, 61 percent think it shouldn't.
Having an affair simply doesn't carry the social stigma that it once did.
According to Playboy magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.
Why do husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? Psychologists cite subjective issues like loss of love and feelings of alienation. Certainly the media pressure of our sex-saturated society is a significant influence.
But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.
Statistics show that 25 percent of all Internet search engine requests are related to pornography.
According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, "approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet." And while 76 percent of women feel that phone sex or cyber-sex is the equivalent of committing adultery, only 41 percent of men do.
Dr. Alvin Cooper and MSNBC.com conducted an online poll of 38,000 people, and 10 percent admitted that they were addicted to Internet pornography.
What's more, a lot of those Internet sex addicts eventually progress from cyber-sex to real-time sexual affairs.
Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," explains J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents. After a divorce, many children are unable ever to develop strong, trusting relationships.
There is a direct correlation between the steady decline of morals and values in America and this more accepting contemporary attitude toward adultery. Part of the reason is because most people have forgotten what a marriage really is.
Marriage is more than just a legal status recognized by the state, or even a temporary social contract between two people.
True marriage is a solemn covenant relationship between a man, a woman and God. It is a hallowed institution that should be revered, cherished, and preserved.
The act of adultery is childish and selfish, and it hurts everyone involved.
It violates at least two of the Ten Commandments: the clear prohibitions against committing adultery and coveting your neighbor's spouse.
If we care about the future of our great nation, we as a people must relearn the virtue and necessity of staying committed to the spouses to whom we are married.
may not carry the stigma socially but....ya gotta answer to someone one day!!! Virtue is virtue and doesn't change with the times no matter who says what.
This article is nonsense. These two hacks are trying to hype their books sales with their nonsense. For a more reasoned look at the facts see:
Study finds most married Americans remaining faithful
I thought homosexuality was the biggest threat?
-ccm
-ccm
Not according to Jesus
Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Actually, YOU are having it both ways. And you misread my post entirely.
Pro-life has nothing to do with what I was talking about.
You, as a God-loving person of conscience and belief, decided to have your child. Great and good and God bless the both of you. It is what I would wish for my sisters or daughters.
What I was referring to was the removal of the onus for children "born out of wedlock," as the quaint saying goes. That onus kept a lot of women from "going too far," as they knew the consequences were great.
Abortion, in the olden days of 25-30 years ago, was not a remedy for a bad situation like it's become today. It was relatively rare. When a woman of consience got pregnant outside of marriage, she toughed it out and raised the child, or gave it up to adoption (third option, unacceptable to both of us, she aborted it).
But what's going on today, with our "relaxed" society? Get pregnant? Abort. As people here know, abortion, for too many women, is not much more than a very late birth control application (and yes, damn their murdering souls). But now there's another option: Just have the kid. Cool. And I don't need a husband, because, in virtually every neighborhood in the US, no matter the income level, almost no one has the gonads to say, I disapprove of what you're doing.
It's all a complicated, confusing stew of morals and choices (and amoral choices!) coming out of the moral relativistic, feel-good, do what's best for me attitudes the left has--successfully--been foisting on us for two generations. Now you have millions of people who reflexively say, No one can tell a woman what to do with her own body!
Anyway, I appreciate your passion, which is born of your emotionalism for your situation and your child, and that is in no way any kind of criticism. I just think it led you to misinterpret what I was saying. You, I infer, are one of the exceptions--conscience, love, taking a moral stand.
Safe travel to you both.
And none of that stuff ever happened before the internet?
The article was very dishonest in the way it handled the topic and blamed the internet for something that has been going on forever to some degree or other.
There's also been hurricanes, tornados, and earthquakes forever. Mass media just brings them home more quickly.
Yet I never fail to notice that those folks that fit a nice little template as to who they are...are the ones so quick to judge anyone different than them.
Ignorance is comfortable in the moldy extremes of either political party. It is always quick to accuse and never around when it is time to step up and accept responsibility.
A few days ago, there was a post on bicycles and conservatives flocked out in high numbers to say they would enjoy driving their SUV over a cyclist. And a few weeks ago, there was an article on pets being rescued in New Orleans. Conservatives lined up to disapprove of any effort that could have otherwise been spent on humans.
I hope you and I don't know first hand, but I fear (yes fear)...that conservatives and liberals will stand side by side in hell. And each will wonder why and how they failed. And they will be angry. Angry that they did not get their way!
So there's that....
You neglect to mention that single motherhood is not only a result of unmarried and unprotected sex, but from deadbeat fathers leaving their children behind when they leave their marriage. I am sure you realize that this is pathetically common and is in no way to be construed as a "choice" made by the mother except for her initial decision to marry a loser.
Even the most amicable divorces with two parents who love the child often result in one parent having physical custody and the other ending up with visitation. This is another scenario for single-parenthood where the custodial parent may not have "chosen" their situation, but rather agreed to it or was ordered by the court to comply.
Because people today divorce because they want more out of life.... not ~less~.
Thanks for the ping!
----Not the ones I am involved with.
Out of curiosity, how many married men are you involved with?
That is why I have not remarried. In the end, I had to turn away each opportunity.
Moral Absolutes Ping.
If anyone marries thinking "this person will make me happy and change my life" he or she is in for a big letdown. If someone is looking for the perfect person, he/she is in for a big letdown.
If someone is looking for a life companion to help and be helped by, to go through life as a team, to care about that other person as much or even more than you care about yourself, to be faithful and loyal even when you see the warts (and guess what, they see yours), even when times are tough, to reach out your hand and help your spouse over the rough spots, to cheer him or her when she's down, to share the good times, to know when to talk, when to listen, and when to leave him/her alone...And to do it all because God says that's the way it should be - then it's very likely the marriage will be a good one.
If someone marries knowing that even when the outside ages, the inside is still eternal - and learns to see through the outside into the inside - that will be a good marriage.
If someone is looking for a sex object who will never get old, a meal ticket who'll always make lots of money, someone who's hair will never turn grey or fall out, don't get married.
Freepmail me if you want on/off this pinglist.
Note: Pornography ruins people.
It really does come down to selfishness ("I want") rather than maintaining one's integrity and vow before God and others.
We are a sad lot.
There is biblical reason for divorce and its the topic of thread. Why not remarry another if adultry was the cause for divorce in one's first marriage?
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Any thoughts?
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