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Posted on 09/06/2005 11:05:03 AM PDT by ExitPurgamentum
by Margaret Friedlander Brinig, Douglas Allen
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'These Boots are Made for Walking': Why Most Divorce Filers are Women
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Abstract: Because of the financial and social hardship faced after divorce, most people assume that generally husbands have instigated divorce since the introduction of no-fault divorce. Yet women file for divorce and are often the instigators of separation, despite a deep attachment to their children and the evidence that many divorces harm children. Furthermore, divorced women in large numbers reveal that they are happier than they were while married. They report relief and certainty that they were right in leaving their marriages. This fundamental puzzle suggests that the incentives to divorce require a reexamination, and that the forces affecting the net benefits from marriage may be quite complicated, and perhaps asymmetric between men and women. This paper considers women's filing as rational behavior, based on spouses' relative power in the marriage, their opportunities following divorce, and their anticipation of custody. |
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If you can't understand commitment is the key to a good, healthy marriage, you shouldn't get married. There are many things to be cynical about, but marriage isn't one of them. Either do it and do it well, or don't do it at all.
Who appointed you the expert? Do you try to run everyone's life and tell everyone what they should and shouldn't do?
My advice is get to a prenuptial. If someone chooses not to do it that's their business. I don't presume to tell anyone whether or not they should get married.
It's amazing how manipulative people get over some issues.
It's obvious to anyone with reasonable intelligence that I was making an indictment of how selfish people are in general in relationships this day and age. Once again, you are still trying to use semantics to force me into defending myself as if I attacked you. I'm sorry if you felt insulted or offended by this, but it was you who felt insult or offended by this. You know damned well that you can use generalizations to put people on the defensive when you dont' like what they are saying.
Hello, Hi Heels.
The guy who said that -- and it was a guy -- lost the Vietnamese War.
All by himself? Dang....
Where is the "high desert"? You mean east of Tehachapi? Or up in northern California?
Just wondering.
I guess the "low desert" would be around the Salton Sea and down toward Mexico, below Brawley.
Yep, most divorces are filed by women, so it must be the man's fault.
Isn't it interesting that working to make the marriage better never seems to be an option?
I would amend the statement.
Too many people have all the wrong ideas about marriage.
Bingo.
"Oh, but he was perfect when I married him, then HE changed."
I'll be sure to inform my wife of 15 years and mother of my nine children of your opinion. She always enjoys a good laugh.
got to ping this one out.
Some people are fortunate to find the right person at a young age. Some people aren't. Some people, if you'd care to read the thread before commenting, marry a law student who, 20 years later, decides to experiment with drugs. It happens. It was his choice. My choice was not to subject my daughter to it. My choice was to demonstrate to her that she, as an American woman, did not have to tolerate a man who plays around and risks her health, does drugs and risks their property, disrespecting her, their children and the families involved. HE filed for divorce after HE stole my car. HE also left us penniless and behind in the rent. Thank God for the church who helped bail us out. Now, you show all that to your loving wife and then show her your response and see if you get lucky tonight. Life happens. People change. Careful not to paint with so broad a brush. It makes you look self-righteous.
Maybe it's the other way around.
Maybe, but it sure seems today that everyone is talking about how marriage is all about making me happy, not about bringing children into the world and raising a family.
Or to paraphrase that great speech by Henry Fonda in His, Mine and Ours:
"Love isn't about going to bed with somebody, it's about getting up with them, and changing diapers, and wiping noses, and making sandwiches and cleaning up vomit, and staying up worrying, and cooking and cleaning and having your heart break and all the pain and glory of children."
I took you at your word as you expressed yourself. If you want to call that a semantic argument go ahead. Please be aware that I am not overly concerned with your thoughts, expressions or opinions.
Actually, I think his kids ratted him out as very distant, unfeeling, unavailable, and inflexible. Among other things. But then, that's Peter and Jane talking, so who knows if he was a good dad or not?
His, Mine and Ours was a movie with Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball.
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