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An Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure on the brink of the new millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.  Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, The Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole language, and  "new math." But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies.  Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.  It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment
than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports. Finally, when a woman, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, common sense threw in the towel.  As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.  Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Good evening, SA

Amen--SA! You nailed it!

I like, the obit for Common Sense. Thanks, Sa.

We need a little of it somehow.

Ain't it the truth!

OBITUARY as filed with the court last month !!!
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August 25, 2005

Judge Charles Clevert
United States District Court
Eastern District of Wisconsin
517 E. Wisconsin Avenue
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53202

RE: CASE 04-CR-234

Your Honor,

I have closely followed the bizarre criminal activities of Marilyn Karos, and I was thoroughly stunned when I learned of the sweetheart plea bargain deal that has been proposed by the United States Attorney!

Alas, this is NOT Mrs. Karos' first offense. So why is it being treated as such? Your Honor, what has happened to Common Sense?

It seems we must now also mourn the passing of our dearly beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for oh so many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge) and stedfast legal principles (the law, not the criminal, is in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when supposedly well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a girl classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense became extremely upset as the Ten Commandments became filthy contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals like Marilyn Karos receive better treatment than their victims!

Common Sense lost the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a bit in her lap, then was awarded a HUGE damage settlement.

Finally, Common Sense gave up the ghost when a United States Attorney virtually flushed the criminal activity of Marilyn Karos down the drain, and then stuffed her guilt into a plea bargain cremation bottle in order to eliminate all traces of evidence of her evil behavior and total abuse our legal system.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

But alas... Common Sense can be Miraculously Resurrected by YOU, Judge Clevert! All you need to do is be certain that Marilyn Karos is given an appropriately strict sentence to show that justice is not merely for the wealthy, and thus to make her punishment commensurate with her continuing criminal activity!

Sincerely yours,

Alex Bale

Outraged U.S. Citizen !!!

I'm glad you passed the popcorn before posting that. Excellent commentary.