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Ann Coulter: How about Ted Kennedy's privacy
Townhall.com ^ | 9/1/05 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 09/01/2005 5:46:13 PM PDT by wagglebee

Sen. Teddy Kennedy has demanded that the Bush administration waive attorney-client privilege and release internal memos John Roberts worked on while in the solicitor general's office 15 years ago, all of which were supposed to be held in the deepest confidence. Apparently, Kennedy thinks public officials have no right to keep even their attorney-client communications secret.

This surprised me because the senator is such a strong advocate of the (nonexistent) "right to privacy." And not just in the way most drunken, Spanish quiz-cheating, no-pants-wearing public reprobates generally cherish their own personal right to privacy. I mean privacy in the abstract.

I know as much about the "right to privacy" as I know about any other made-up, nonexistent right, but I would have thought that any "right to privacy" would protect confidential attorney-client conversations at least as much as, say, abortions in public buildings.

But I'll have to defer to the expert.

Consequently, applying the principle even-handedly to members of the executive branch as well as the legislative branch, I demand that Kennedy immediately waive all attorney-client privilege relating to his communications with his lawyer after he drove Mary Jo Kopechne off the bridge at Chappaquiddick. It's time to clear up, once and for all, the many questions that have swirled around Kennedy since Chappaquiddick.

Oops – "swirled" may have been a poor choice of words there. How about "floated"? Nope. "Surfaced"? Oooh – even worse, in terms of irony. "Come to light"? OK, now I'm just being obtuse. "Beset"? Yes, that's better.

Youth is no defense. John Roberts was 26 years old when he wrote the documents that Kennedy demands on behalf of the Senate. Kennedy was 36 when he drove Mary Jo Kopechne off a bridge.

If the Senate needs to know what Roberts thought about the law at age 26, then the Senate certainly needs to know what Kennedy thought about the law at age 36, when he drowned a girl and then spent the rest of the evening concocting an alibi instead of calling the police.

This isn't a "rehash" of Chappaquiddick; it's never been hashed. The Senate needs to know whether Kennedy was guilty of manslaughter. How else can the Senate be expected to carry out its constitutional duty to expel Kennedy unless Kennedy makes these key documents available?

We'll pick them up in the same van we send to collect John Kerry's military records and Bill Clinton's medical records.

While we wait, here's my guess as to what those attorney-client conversations sounded like, based on the facts in Leo Damore's book "Senatorial Privilege: The Chappaquiddick Cover-Up":

Interview with client Teddy Kennedy, July 19, 1969:

Teddy: May I approach the bench?

Lawyer: It's not a bench, Teddy. It's my desk. And no, you can't have another Chivas Regal.

Teddy: (Hiccup)

Lawyer: Let's start at the beginning.

Teddy: I'm going to say you were driving.

Lawyer: No, you are not saying I was driving.

Teddy: OK, someone in your family was driving.

Lawyer: They weren't even in Massachusetts that week. Can we move on? Why didn't you call the police after the accident, Teddy?

Teddy: I had to protect my political career, obviously. But this wasn't just about me! I was thinking about future drunk, philandering U.S. senators who may or may not have just drowned some chick they met at a party.

Lawyer: But what about Mary Jo --

Teddy: Yes, precisely! How would it look if I, a United States senator, were driving off to a secluded beach at midnight with a beautiful, nubile female after a private party? How would that look?

Lawyer: But Mary Jo was still alive for two hours --

Teddy: Did I mention my wife was pregnant? You think I should have reported the accident now, Mr. Smartypants?

Lawyer: She was trapped in that car, struggling to breathe!

Teddy: Do you know that two of my brothers were assassinated?

Lawyer: She was still alive! You could have saved her!

Teddy: Yeah, and say goodbye to my presidential ambitions. There was the future of the country to consider – as well as the future of the Chivas Regal company and all their employees. I am a Kennedy. I have a divine right to the presidency. I had to put that ahead of my lawyer's conscience. Anyway, Mary Jo was driving.

Lawyer: Teddy, we can't say Mary Jo was driving.

Teddy: What if some phony witness claimed that the driver stopped to ask for directions. Wouldn't that prove it was a woman driving?

Lawyer: But what about the witnesses?

Teddy: We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Hey, what's so funny? Did I just say something funny?

To be continued ...


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Editorial; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: anncoulter; chappaquiddick; johnroberts; scotus; teddykennedy
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Perfect!
1 posted on 09/01/2005 5:46:14 PM PDT by wagglebee
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2 posted on 09/01/2005 5:47:45 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: wagglebee

Thank you-very much


3 posted on 09/01/2005 5:48:36 PM PDT by since1868 (Give to Operation Blessing.)
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To: wagglebee

Poor Ann... talk about Overtaken By Events... no one's going to read this column.


4 posted on 09/01/2005 5:49:00 PM PDT by HostileTerritory
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To: HostileTerritory

She's a big girl she can handle it, and if not I'm sure we can round up a few volunteers to comfort her!


5 posted on 09/01/2005 5:49:50 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: wagglebee

A little Ann to get away from all the hurricane mess.


6 posted on 09/01/2005 5:50:26 PM PDT by satchmodog9 (Murder and weather are our only news)
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To: wagglebee
Isn't the US Senate considering making that bridge in Massachusetts a National Historic site?

Good post. People will read it.

Also, need to mention how Teddy and his pal John Kerry and other liberals have helped create the gasoline shortage by their support of the EnviroWackos.

Everytime you fill up with gas (if you can), remember the part that Teddy, John Kerry, Boxer and Feinstein, Hillary and Chuckie "cheeze" Schumer, the Snowe gal of Maine, and others have helped cripple US Energy policy!

7 posted on 09/01/2005 5:52:35 PM PDT by topher (God bless and protect our troops and service personnel around the world)
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To: HostileTerritory

Oh, I wouldn't say that. Looks like at least 50 of us have in the past few minutes.
LMAO!


8 posted on 09/01/2005 5:53:51 PM PDT by Past Your Eyes (Some people are too stupid to be ashamed.)
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To: HostileTerritory
no one's going to read this column.

You're wrong! I read it and loved it, and you can bet it will be read by others who aren't beholden to the Kennedy's. People outside Massachusetts wouldn't vote for Ted Kennedy for dog catcher....we know he should have been sent to prison for being responsible for the death of a young woman and then committing perjury in a cover up of the facts.

9 posted on 09/01/2005 5:57:59 PM PDT by PeskyOne
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To: wagglebee
..ah, yes Ann.



Doogle
10 posted on 09/01/2005 5:58:08 PM PDT by Doogle (8th AF...4077thTFW....408MMS....Ubon Thailand "69"..Night Line Delivery ..AMMO)
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To: wagglebee
"This isn't a "rehash" of Chappaquiddick; it's never been hashed. The Senate needs to know whether Kennedy was guilty of manslaughter. How else can the Senate be expected to carry out its constitutional duty to expel Kennedy unless Kennedy makes these key documents available?

We'll pick them up in the same van we send to collect John Kerry's military records and Bill Clinton's medical records.

LOL! Great line. Ann comes up with so many good ones!

11 posted on 09/01/2005 5:58:26 PM PDT by TAdams8591 (Member since December 1998)
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To: wagglebee
Nothing like a little AC to get your motor started.

A day without Annie bashing a Kennedy is like a day without sunshine.

12 posted on 09/01/2005 5:59:12 PM PDT by RckyRaCoCo ("When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk!")
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To: wagglebee


teddy hiccup is an old fool, an embarassment to mankind and a buffoon, he needs to shut up and go away, period. It amazes me, his kids are worried about Joan when they really should be worried about teddy, he's gone mad and has been mad for quite awhile now.


13 posted on 09/01/2005 5:59:37 PM PDT by rockabyebaby (I'm not afraid to say out loud what the rest of you are afraid to admit.)
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To: wagglebee

This is the only woman I would abandon my wife for. Well, not really. This is the only woman I would fantasize about abandoning my wife for.

She is so-o-o-o-o kick @ss I can even overlook her supermodel figure. A few cheeseburgers and a nightly bottle of beer or two will bring her into nice condition...


14 posted on 09/01/2005 6:01:35 PM PDT by WorkingClassFilth (Do you know Landru, Brother?)
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To: PeskyOne

Lots of us inside Massachusetts wouldn't vote for him for dog catcher either, but we're outnumbered! Oh well. I'm glad he does our candidates good in the other 49 states when he wins here. :)


15 posted on 09/01/2005 6:03:18 PM PDT by HostileTerritory
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To: topher

'The libs have created the gas crisis' -- and right you are. It's pretty tedious, too, to hear them complaining about gas prices, after voting in tax after tax due to liberal guilt. And then whining. It's getting darned tedious.


16 posted on 09/01/2005 6:04:15 PM PDT by bboop
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To: HostileTerritory

I just read it.


17 posted on 09/01/2005 6:14:49 PM PDT by stockpirate (We can fight the Muslim Army in Iraq! Or we can fight them outback! Check my homepage)
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To: topher
Isn't the US Senate considering making that bridge in Massachusetts a National Historic site?

The original bridge where Teddy killed Mary Jo Kopechne has been torn down!

18 posted on 09/01/2005 6:18:56 PM PDT by Stepan12
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To: wagglebee

"Perfect!"

Yes, she is. Brilliant, gorgeous ... and very, very funny. Her column is not perfect, though. I'll deduct one point from it just because Ted Kennedy is such an easy target.


19 posted on 09/01/2005 6:19:21 PM PDT by manwiththehands (If the Left offends you, stick around. They're just getting started.)
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To: Stepan12



http://www.ytedk.com/ Its all right here, even the neck brace.


20 posted on 09/01/2005 6:29:53 PM PDT by FAHRENHEIT 4 MORE YEARS
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