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Women turn to internet for truth about their date
Scotsman.com ^ | August 23, 2005 | Fiona MacGregor

Posted on 08/24/2005 8:09:41 AM PDT by billorites

ONE in three women prepare for blind dates by spying on their prospective partners via the internet to obtain information about their careers, their hobbies and what they look like, a new study has found.

Increasing numbers of men are also using internet search engines to carry out so-called "suitability checks" before meeting their date.

And private investigators have reported an increase in clients whose suspicions about their partners have been driven by "i-spying".

The study found about 35 per cent of women said they had no qualms about going even further and looking at messages on the mobile phone of a partner or date.

The UK poll of 3,000 people by Onetel, a broadband provider, found women were far more likely to admit to snooping than men, with just half the number of males confessing they had sneaked a look at their partners' text messages.

One in 20 people of both sexes said they had searched the internet for a photo of a future blind date - leading 4 per cent of them to cancel a meeting because they did not like what they saw.

While psychologists said that there is nothing wrong with checking out background information, they warned that those who meddled too deeply could end up losing partners through lack of trust.

Websites such as Friends Reunited were named as a fruitful source of information.

Over half of those questioned admitted they had checked the site to find out about partners.

Professional investigators said they were not surprised by the findings.

Stephen Grant, a partner at Grant and McMurtie with 25 years' experience as a private detective, said he had had an increase in clients coming to him whose suspicions had been fuelled by internet searches.

And he said he had dealt with more women than men in such cases. "I don't know if that is because men are more philandering or women are more suspicious," he said.

He added: "With internet searches, we get people in the early days of a relationship coming to us after they have found things out - perhaps that a person is married - and they want us to confirm that.

"For people in a relationship, it is often their mobile phones that give them away. Another area where people get caught out is e-mail.

"When a client comes to us we do an internet search and see what comes up - we may well find something in a newspaper article or court records."

While the report found over two-thirds of people believe women are more likely to snoop, it showed less distinction between male and female behaviour at the more extreme levels of suspicious behaviour.

Around 15 per cent of women and 12 per cent of men said they had sent a text to their partner from a different number pretending to be someone else to see if they took the bait.

And 17 per cent of women and 15 per cent of men would do a police check on their partner if they got the chance. It also found 28 per cent of women and 21 per cent of men frequently drive past the house of someone they are attracted to, to see if they are in and if any extra cars are on the drive.

Half the women said they read their partner's bank statement, compared to a third of men, and 40 per cent would inspect their partner's phone bill, compared to 24 per cent of men. And 16 per cent of people have unearthed a secret they really did not want to find out.

Dr Cynthia McVey, a psychologist at Glasgow Caledonian University, said: "[The stereotype of women snooping] may date back to a time when women were at home and had less opportunity to stray, while men were out at work. Wives who were suspicious would check receipts or for signs of lipstick or perfume.

"Internet snooping is just a modern version of ancient human responses to feelings of insecurity and jealousy.

"But while checking the internet for general information is fairly harmless, to read someone's text messages or e-mails is an invasion of privacy and shows a real lack of trust, which is not good in a relationship."

Perils and pros of doing some research when love comes a-clicking

EDWARD BLACK

WOMEN might think they are stealing a march on men by using the internet to uncover information on a prospective date, but they are not alone.

After meeting my current girlfriend in a nightclub, e-mail proved an embarrassment-free way of arranging that tricky first date as well as yielding her company details. A quick Google search dug up a photograph of her on a financial firm's website, and also a résumé of her career - invaluable for conversation purposes later.

Unfortunately, with me being a journalist, she was able to glean far more information about me as well as finding details of a romantic mini-break spent in a Scottish health spa with a former partner published in The Scotsman's travel section.

Fortunately she missed my name on a lapdancing industry website which appeared when I wrote a story on a sheriff who was forced to resign after being caught in a sauna.

Another potential internet banana skin was a feature which involved three former girlfriends dishing the dirt on what I was like to go out with. The so-called Ex-files were a response to a call from feminist Germaine Greer to set up a website for women to log details of men who had behaved badly towards them so that other women could avoid a similar fate.

Behaviour such as making a partner show you a text message when their phone bleeps in front of you shows an unattractive degree of paranoia. Teenage love letters should be private, so when it comes to saved text messages or e-mails, try something a bit more old-fashioned: trust.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: internet; singles
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To: Betis70

You think you would have more luck living in a bigger city. I live in a semi-small town and it's next to impossible to find a guy. I think we should both move to Texas.


141 posted on 08/24/2005 12:27:41 PM PDT by baker_girl (You are all winners,except those of you who lose.)
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To: RockinRight

Conservative women are a lot more common than the rare species the media tries to make us out to be.

Even if you can't find a good conservative woman, there's no need to resort to the left-wing moonbats. Just look for someone who's not into politics on either side.

When I lived in California, there weren't many conservative men available to date. I tried a liberal guy once. Never again.


142 posted on 08/24/2005 12:30:42 PM PDT by JillValentine (To the Left, Cindy Sheehan is a sacred cow. To me, she's just a cow.)
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To: RockinRight

I'm telling you from my experience ;) They have some real scuzz buckets out there.


143 posted on 08/24/2005 12:36:30 PM PDT by CajunConservative
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To: baker_girl
You think you would have more luck living in a bigger city. I live in a semi-small town and it's next to impossible to find a guy. I think we should both move to Texas.

coughcoughcoughGeorgiacoughcough

144 posted on 08/24/2005 12:37:58 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islam is merely Nazism without the snappy fashion sense.)
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To: JillValentine
Even if you can't find a good conservative woman, there's no need to resort to the left-wing moonbats. Just look for someone who's not into politics on either side.

I agree with that. I'd even say most "liberal" women aren't really all that political - they often have a veneer of liberalism that they have picked up from the popular culture, but don't really understand the issues that well. In time, with proper education, they'll morph into conservatives.

But the small number of real moonbats (male or female) are irredeemable - avoid them like the plague. ;)

145 posted on 08/24/2005 12:40:48 PM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("Feelings are not a tool of cognition, therefore they are not a criterion of morality." -- Ayn Rand)
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To: Lazamataz

Excuse me? Are you okay? Sounds like you said Georgia.:)


146 posted on 08/24/2005 12:42:44 PM PDT by baker_girl (You are all winners,except those of you who lose.)
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To: baker_girl

Who, me? Nah, I din't say nutthin. ;^)


147 posted on 08/24/2005 12:43:26 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islam is merely Nazism without the snappy fashion sense.)
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To: Lazamataz

Sure


148 posted on 08/24/2005 12:53:19 PM PDT by baker_girl (You are all winners,except those of you who lose.)
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To: HairOfTheDog; Lazamataz
There's got to be something else you're supposed to grow into, some better label for a grown up than 'bad boy'

The word you are looking for is "man". Not guy or boy or even male but "Man"

There are so few real men around anymore. Someone like John Wayne or Jimmy Stewart. Strong yet sensitive when needs to be. The perfect man was probabl;y John Wayne in the movie "the quiet man". He could kick tail if he needed to but wasn't too concerned about what other people thought.

There's so few of us left and most boys these days never really grow up into men.

149 posted on 08/24/2005 1:35:59 PM PDT by John O (God Save America (Please))
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To: John O
The perfect man was probably John Wayne in the movie

I disagree. I am perfect enough for me. I'm still growing, obviously, and improving in every way I can -- yet at every moment, I am perfect in my development.

150 posted on 08/24/2005 1:39:10 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islam is merely Nazism without the snappy fashion sense.)
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To: RockinRight
This one girl was at LEAST 274...

274, 275, whatever it takes...

(trying to figure out why 274 was your estimate...

151 posted on 08/24/2005 1:43:44 PM PDT by BlueMondaySkipper (The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it. - George Orwell)
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To: Lazamataz
I disagree. I am perfect enough for me.

John Wayne is pretty cool though. ;~D

152 posted on 08/24/2005 1:49:30 PM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Join the Hobbit Hole Troop Support - http://freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net/)
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To: billorites

Hee,Hee, Hee, the gals are doing that too, huh???


153 posted on 08/24/2005 1:52:28 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (If John Roberts is unfit for this Supreme Court,-this Supreme Court is unfit for the USA.)
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To: BlueMondaySkipper

Actually the '4' was supposed to be a '5'-I was typing fast and didn't preview!


154 posted on 08/24/2005 1:57:18 PM PDT by RockinRight (Democrats - Trying to make an a$$ out of America since 1933)
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To: Lazamataz
I'm actually finding that I like 'em outright skinny...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
I'll give her your number, Laz!

155 posted on 08/24/2005 2:16:57 PM PDT by Tatze (I voted for John Kerry before I voted against him!)
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To: KevinB

She will never get any taller than 5"2', but weight gain has no limits. How many of your babies has she given life to because of her love for you?? That changes a woman's metablism, among other things, and she can't help it.

Try to rember, if you can, should she not always be the Barbie doll that you married, outwardly-she is still the sweet lovable lady on the inside-with feelings that can be easily hurt, and probably needs your approval and acceptance, more than ever.


156 posted on 08/24/2005 2:22:21 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (If John Roberts is unfit for this Supreme Court,-this Supreme Court is unfit for the USA.)
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To: Tatze

That's sick...but the chick behind her isn't appealing either.

Extremes abound in that pic!


157 posted on 08/24/2005 2:39:55 PM PDT by RockinRight (Democrats - Trying to make an a$$ out of America since 1933)
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To: F.J. Mitchell
Try to remember, if you can, should she not always be the Barbie doll that you married ...

You are right, of course; but I did make sure to check out her 84 year old mother, who has given birth to three kids and is still sufficiently attractive to have found a 65 year old man to marry her after her husband died. The odds are in my/her favor. :)

158 posted on 08/24/2005 3:06:45 PM PDT by KevinB
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To: RockinRight
That's sick...but the chick behind her isn't appealing either.

Watch it, buddy, I went on a two-hour bike ride with that woman!

159 posted on 08/24/2005 3:11:31 PM PDT by KevinB
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To: KevinB

BUMP
Stay tuned to find out if the infamous Laz hooks up with newbie baker_girl.


160 posted on 08/24/2005 4:00:49 PM PDT by jrp
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