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Scientists clone Madonna(Borowitz finds answer!)
http://www.jewishworldreview.com ^ | Andy Borowitz

Posted on 08/18/2005 1:36:15 PM PDT by manny613

One day after Madonna suffered a broken collarbone while riding a horse on her forty-seventh birthday, scientists successfully cloned the music superstar to enable her upcoming world tour to proceed as planned.

(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: borowitz; tramp
World tour to proceed as planned
1 posted on 08/18/2005 1:36:24 PM PDT by manny613
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To: manny613
And the fact that you can't clone knowledge or personality isn't a problem because, well...it's Madonna.
2 posted on 08/18/2005 1:41:48 PM PDT by atomicpossum (Replies should be as pedantic as possible. I love that so much.)
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To: manny613

We don't need any more of that skank.


3 posted on 08/18/2005 1:45:13 PM PDT by pcottraux
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To: manny613
"Most of us are fine with the cloning of Madonna, but what if a madman tried to clone Ryan Seacrest?"

Bwahahahahahahaha!

4 posted on 08/18/2005 1:47:18 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Bork should have had Kennedy's USSC seat and Kelo v. New London would have gone the other way.)
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To: manny613

Is this one not as Banged Up as the real Madonna?


5 posted on 08/18/2005 1:49:07 PM PDT by Cowman (Just when you hit the bottom of the stupid hole you notice the guy next to you is digging)
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To: Cowman

Um, are you referring to her lack of riding skills or something else?


6 posted on 08/18/2005 1:50:29 PM PDT by cjshapi
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To: manny613

Great. When the real one gets well, they can both get on stage (one on each side) and I can finally hear her in stereo.


7 posted on 08/18/2005 1:57:25 PM PDT by willgolfforfood
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To: manny613

An adult Madonna clone would be able to sing "Like a Virgin" with meaning.


8 posted on 08/18/2005 1:59:23 PM PDT by Vicomte13 (Et alors?)
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To: KarlInOhio

Should such a tragedy happen, I would have no choice but to declare jihad.


9 posted on 08/18/2005 2:01:02 PM PDT by thoughtomator (Just call me Mr. Zero Diversity Points!)
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To: manny613

why?


10 posted on 08/18/2005 2:03:09 PM PDT by chilepepper (The map is not the territory -- Alfred Korzybski)
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To: manny613
While the platinum-selling recording artist was undergoing surgery for her injuries, samples of her DNA were dispatched to South Korea, where scientists successfully cloned a dog earlier this month.

Putting this freakette's head on the dog's body would be a fitting fit. Pair her with Jacko's clone - what a lovely pair (of freaky freaks!)

11 posted on 08/18/2005 2:17:04 PM PDT by Leo Carpathian (FReeeePeee!)
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To: manny613

Try to imagine how many times you'd have to clone Courtney Love before you had one version out of prison at any given time...


12 posted on 08/18/2005 2:19:28 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: manny613

Monoskank, stereoskank... whatever.


13 posted on 08/18/2005 2:20:58 PM PDT by RegulatorCountry (Esse Quam Videre)
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To: Billthedrill

Try to imagine how many times you'd have to clone Courtney Love before you had one version out of prison at any given time...


---

I understand the Lawrence Livermore Lab burned out its best computer trying to calculate that number last month.


14 posted on 08/18/2005 3:07:43 PM PDT by Cheburashka
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To: atomicpossum

Good point. The recording industry cloned Madonna hundreds of times before scientists even tried. And Madonna has no doubt tried every other method of procreation (probably with the help of record producers) since she started in the business.


15 posted on 08/18/2005 4:00:58 PM PDT by dr_who_2
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To: Vicomte13
An adult Madonna clone would be able to sing "Like a Virgin" with meaning.

See "Reservoir Dogs" for the TRUE meaning of that song.

BTW: "Like a Virgin" was written by a gay man.

16 posted on 08/18/2005 4:02:21 PM PDT by Clemenza (Pirro is Hillary with an (R))
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