MORFORD: One Happy Big-Box Wasteland

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 8/17/5 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

Morfordite Alert

This rant is a little different in that it doesn't mention Bush, recreational drugs, or unnatural acts.

[agere_contra]

Does he suffer from heavy-metal posioning or something? He's so miserable

[writmeister]

How dare shopping for daily necessities be convenient and consistent!

[Moose4]

Sheesh. Vintage Morford...San Cramcrisco is the center of the universe and normal Americans are all evil and bad and boring. And, Mrs. Morford NEVER met a run-on sentence she didn't like.

I'm surprised she didn't manage to work in a chocolate-sauce-drizzling-on-a-tailbone reference this time, though.

}:-)4

[Tijeras_Slim]

Any community where Missy doesn't want to live is alright by me.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

This rant is a little different in that it doesn't mention Bush, recreational drugs, or unnatural acts.

[AK2KX]

Actually he does wind up getting a dig in at the President:

In a nation that has lost all sense of direction and all sense of pride . . . whose incompetent warmongering leader makes the world gag. . .

[Robert A Cook PE]

Gee.

And I even tend to agree with him on this one!

[randog]

...and clearly zero planning went into any of these megashops, except to space them so obnoxiously that you have to get back in your goddamn car to drive the eighth of a mile to get to the Target to the Best Buy to the Wal-Mart to the Super Foods and back to your freakin' sanity.

I think Miss Morford actually has a point here. A lot of these mega-chains have way too much parking lot for the business they get. My pet peeve is fast food joints with acres of blacktop surrounding them, like they're expecting every high school kid in town to show up at the same time.

[Army Air Corps]

File photo of cops finding Morford's stash.

[over3Owithabrain]

I agree - I tend to avoid cheesy strip-mall areas and the clusterscrew of traffic that goes with them.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

My pet peeve is fast food joints with acres of blacktop surrounding them, like they're expecting every high school kid in town to show up at the same time.

"... wheat germ... must... have... wheeeeeaaaaat... gerrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm..."

[50sDad]

Does he suffer from heavy-metal posioning or something? He's so miserable. Rush had a great one on this yesterday. Liberals...not happy, and don't want anyone else to be. Liberalism...the fear that somebody, somewhere, is fractionally worse off than you, and the need to feel guilty about it.

What would it be..."Manifest Miserable"?

[clintonh8r]

Is there anything about America that these people like?

[federal]

Is there anything about America that these people like?

I'd be willing to bet ole Morphie likes the bath houses in San Fran.........

[KC_Conspirator]

Well, I have heard the same tripe since the 50's when suburbs just started. The hateful left has always scorned suburnites because they flee the filth that liberals make in the cities. The list goes from "The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit", "The Organization Man", "The Stepford Wives", "Pleasantville", and to "American Beauty". All of it gutter trash.

[KC_Conspirator]

No. America is the worst nation on earth to these sick minded people. They hate the family, they hate Republicans, they hate mom, they hate dad, they hate morality, and they hate you, Mr. Klinton hater. However, they don't hate terrorists.

[loreldan]

[i]"Sameness is in"[/i]

I never thought I'd say it, but I agree with him. The typical lifestyle is now the same with most Americans. We live in our spec houses - they all look the same. It's hard to give directions to our houses because most of them do not have any distinguishing features. We get up in the morning, get in our SUV's, and drive through traffic to our job in our cubicle -which looks like every other cubicle. After work we get in our SUV, drive through traffic, passing through developments that look just like our development. We stop at Walmart, and pick up our daily DVD - dose of Hollywood (this is our diversion from sameness supposedly.) We get home, sit in front of the tube, and finally go to bed. The next day we repeat the process.

[JRios1968]

Wouldn't it be great to have someone tail (ok, bad word choice, seeing how Miss Morford writes from San Fran...) Miss Morford to see how often it goes to the evil-big-box-strip-malls he so hates? Exposing the hypocrisy would be so delicious!

[Celtjew Libertarian]

When I went to the University of Michigan, back in the 1980s, there was a wonderful independent bookstore. Incredible selection, wonderful surroundings. The staff tended to be politically left-wing -- maybe even radically so -- but the service was excellent.

That wonderful college indie bookstore was called Borders. It was from that one store that Borders has become a chain.

Funny thing is, the layout may change from store to store, but the feel of that place is still like the one I knew in Ann Arbor.