Posted on 08/15/2005 5:46:09 PM PDT by writer33
El Segundo, CA—(Satire) In a sudden, yet brilliant move—designed to line the pockets of their investors—Mattel, Inc. announces that they have designed the first ever Cindy Sheehan action figure. The makers of Barbie dolls have laid down the gauntlet and staked their position in the war for oil, siding with the plight of mothers across the world.
The “talking” action figure is a new girl in town that is destined to become a V.F.F. (virtual friend forever) to liberals everywhere. Mattel, Inc., a diverse company, created the figure and has won the hearts of people in Crawford, Texas, and across America with a doll that will take the First Amendment to a new level.
“It’s a stroke of genius from our R&D department,” said Bob Eckert, President and CEO of Mattel. “We’re calling the doll ‘Little Mommy Protester.’ With the tide turning against President Bush, we’ve got to get into the pockets of the American people before they become disenchanted with this movement. It’s the smart thing to do! And we support Cindy Sheehan here at Mattel.”
“I was just fed up. When the 14 Marines were killed, and when George Bush said again that they died for a noble cause, and he said we have to complete the mission by honoring the sacrifices of the fallen heroes, that was it, I just was so enraged,” noted Cindy Sheehan in an interview with Reuters. “I fully support Mattel and am honored to be a spokesperson for the First Amendment. It’s time our children learned the full power of it!”
Bob Eckert also mentioned that the company would make three different action figures: “Camping Cindy,” “Elegant Cindy,” and “Blue Jean Cindy.” He noted that “Camping Cindy” will be sweat-soaked, wearing a t-shirt, headband and shorts while brandishing a sign that reads: “Bring the Troops Home Now!” “Elegant Cindy” is said to be adorned in an evening gown, but isn’t too busy to take time out of a night on the town to protest the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. And according to Eckert, “Blue Jean Cindy” will be dressed in blue jeans and a halter top, catering to the hip, young liberals that want to bring the troops home now.
Ray McGovern, a former CIA analyst who addressed protesters from the bed of a red pickup truck, reportedly called Sheehan their Rosa Parks, in a reference to the black woman who triggered civil rights protests after she was arrested in 1955 for refusing to give up her seat on a bus to a white passenger. “She’s a special lady. I can’t say enough about her and I think this move by Mattel is brilliant. I know I’m going to by my little granddaughter a Cindy Sheehan action figure! Thanks, Mattel!”
Hart Viges, 29, who joined the Army because of the Sept. 11 attacks proclaimed, “We were used. I believe the government betrayed the United States armed forces. They sent them out on a mission that was meant for something other than weapons of mass destruction. Go Mattel, Go! You’re my hero Mr. Eckert! Well, you and Cindy Sheehan!”
The action figures, set to hit stores on Labor Day weekend, has ensured that their stock will go through the roof, and has inspired Democratic Senators to continue their lockstep rhetoric in resistance to the war on terror, while leaning for a more peaceful resolution to the violence of sadistic terrorists.
“Mattel is stepping up to the plate,” said a soft spoken Sen. Harry Reid, D-NV. “I think they’ve hit a home run with this doll and I’m willing to throw my weight behind Mattel from now on.”
“Mattel is doing something I’ve wanted to do for the longest time,” fired Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-CA. “They’re sticking it to the administration and I love ‘em for it. Keep it up, Bob. You have my vote.”
“This action figure is long overdue,” claimed Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA. “I think it’s the bomb. Every liberal in America ought to buy one as soon as they’re available. Stand firm against the red, white and blue!”
Eckert noted that each action figure would say something different. “I don’t want to give the whole thing away,” Eckert stated. “But one doll says, ‘Bush lied and my son died.’ The other two say similar things. It’s a gas,” laughed Eckert.
Eckert also said that the company was working on two other anti-war dolls: The George Voinovich action figure, which cries and says, “I’m worried about our grandchildren,” and the Hillary Clinton action figure that fights evil anti-abortion Republicans, avoids scandals and says, “A woman’s right to choose is what matters most. Now put me in the White House!”
As time goes by, the protestors in Crawford, Texas, grow larger and larger. The tide has slowly turned for George W. Bush, and Mattel’s insights into the American people have practically created a ‘lame duck’ status, making Americans wonder what they voted for on November 2, 2004.
They'd sell more if they made her into a toilet brush.
LOL!
Is it time to get your granddaughter a Cindy Sheehan action figure? Time to show her how to save the world?
:)
I'd agree. Manufacturers must know they won't sell. Thanks God for capitalists.
Action figure ping!
To All the FReepers who wish they could have been in Crawford
to support President Bush and the Troops.
You do not have to be in Texas to show support for the Troops.
Visit your local military base today and at least once a week.
Or a military or veteran hospital.
Learn to play offense, not defense,
and quit giving free publicity to those who mock our troops.
Spineless US Senate would rather protect Hanoi Kerry
than deal with the anti war crowd.
Anyone who thinks Hanoi Kerry isn't behind the anti war crowd needs to get a clue.
It's time to support our troops and ignore the jelly fish in the US Senate!
There is no need to impeach Hanoi Kerry from the US Senate
He is there illegally!
WAKEUP AMERICA!
For those who "forgot" what Hanoi Kerry
did in the past read on and learn the truth.
Hanoi Kerry was still a USNR officer while he:
gave false hearsay testimony to Congress
negotiated with the enemy
helped the US lose a war
abetted in the deaths of millions
created a hostile environment for all servicemen
Why is Kerry still in the US Senate?
This is in violation of
U.S. Constitution Amendment 14 Sec 3
http://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/constitution.amendmentxiv.html
And the FBI has proof of his treason.
Hanoi Kerry Timeline of a traitor
includes FBI files
May 1970
Kerry and Julia traveled to Paris, France and met with Madame Nguyen Thi Binh, the Foreign Minister of the Provisional Revolutionary Government of Vietnam (PRG), the political wing of the Vietcong, and other Viet Cong and Communist Vietnamese representatives to the Paris peace talks, a trip he now calls a "fact-finding" mission.
(U.S. code 18 U.S.C. 953, declares it illegal for a U.S. citizen to go abroad and negotiate with a foreign power.)
http://www.archive-news.net/Kerry/JK_timeline.html
a) A person charged with absence without leave or missing movement in time of war,
or with any offense punishable by death,
may be tried at any time without limitation.
http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/ucmj.htm#*%20843.%20ART.%2043.%20STATUTE%20OF%20LIMITATIONS
Distribute these url's!
Links to Anti Kerry sites
212 LINKS
News reports,
Viper's Vietnam Veterans Page
http://members.aol.com/ga1449ga/links/links.html
EXPOSE HANOI KERRY!
MUST SEE WEBSITE!!!!
http://www.kerrystreason.com/index.html
Full details on these url's!
http://stophanoikerry.150m.com
There is a backup site
if the 1st url is unavailable.
http://tonkin.spymac.net/hanoikerry1.html
Did you see this...?
(The 'Kerry's Promise Counter')
http://polipundit.com/index.php?p=6628
Polipundit even tells you how to install it on your own page!
:) Hehe!
That's great, eXe. Thanks for reading and posting the graphic. I appreciate it.
I have never been too fond of Barbie myself, but hey, maybe that's jealousy talking! LOL!!
Great stuff Chris!!
hehehe...Ann Coulter gonna kick her @$$...then she'll kick sHrILLARYs' @$$/"Ol' Crusty" (the Black Pant suit :)...Any pic. :D
Chris Davis you rock! Do you ever her from Rush or W?
You should!
Chris, if I buy the tearful "Camping Cindy" and the cryin' Georgie Boy action figures do you think Mattel will toss in a Weeping Patsy Shroeder doll for free?
I want one...Not! LOL
Thanks, for the post/info. , Tonk.
Well...now you can give your daughter a doll that doesn't pull any punches. She'll fight evil Republicans, even in the darkest of hours. She's tough, she's protest ready...she's Cindy Sheehan: Action Figure!
:)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.