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FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~
July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

Posted on 07/27/2005 7:36:35 PM PDT by Soaring Feather


For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!


This one always cracks me up!


You Might Be A Soldier If..


Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?




Computer humor?


"Why We Love Kids"



I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"


2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS


On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."


bentfeather



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Free Republic
KEYWORDS: 954; airforce; army; bethylovestomkow6; coastguard; familysupport; fun; humor; information; marines; militarysupport; nationalguard; navy; piper; veterans
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To: Kathy in Alaska; AZamericonnie
MA!!!!
AZamericonnie startin' trouble!!!

81 posted on 07/27/2005 8:17:38 PM PDT by tomkow6 (................Coming soon!...Burka Tower & Casino..........Coming soon!...Burka Tower & Casino)
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To: SevenofNine

I'm Rick James, B!tch!!!!


82 posted on 07/27/2005 8:17:57 PM PDT by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
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To: BIGLOOK
Pregnant!
83 posted on 07/27/2005 8:18:30 PM PDT by tomkow6 (................Coming soon!...Burka Tower & Casino..........Coming soon!...Burka Tower & Casino)
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To: mdittmar

LOL The Stooges have made millions laugh, yuk, yuk.


84 posted on 07/27/2005 8:18:41 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: bentfeather
"What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."


85 posted on 07/27/2005 8:18:59 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: gonzo

Hi gonzo.

LOL thanks.


86 posted on 07/27/2005 8:19:51 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: tomkow6

87 posted on 07/27/2005 8:19:53 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

............'bout time, Ma!


88 posted on 07/27/2005 8:20:21 PM PDT by tomkow6 (................Coming soon!...Burka Tower & Casino..........Coming soon!...Burka Tower & Casino)
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To: Army Air Corps

That's a good list. I do enjoy British humor, so darned dry.


89 posted on 07/27/2005 8:20:59 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: HopeandGlory
Thanks, Hope, for today's Pledge. Thank you, AfghanMan, for your service to America. Prayers sent for your safety and success of mission. Hello, Penguin Girl.


90 posted on 07/27/2005 8:21:01 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: LUV W

I know LUV, those men and women who are fighting for our freedoms deserve all our love and respect and support. God Bless them all!


91 posted on 07/27/2005 8:21:04 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
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To: cspackler
"I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille."

"If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad."

"Are you crazy? Don't you know that man is a ni...?"

92 posted on 07/27/2005 8:22:09 PM PDT by WestVirginiaRebel (Carnac: A siren, a baby and a liberal. Answer: Name three things that whine.)
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To: al baby

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides






LOL


93 posted on 07/27/2005 8:22:17 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: tomkow6

Hey....you guys all got to eat already! I had to find food on the way home. Shorts, bare feet, food......now you get your #1!! LOL!


94 posted on 07/27/2005 8:22:33 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: AZamericonnie

A Z-BRA?????



LOL!!


95 posted on 07/27/2005 8:22:59 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: All

A PRAYER OF PROTECTION

The light of God surround you
The love of God enfold you
The power of God protect you
The presence of God watch over you
Wherever you are, God is,
And all is well.
Amen.

BLESS THIS HOUSE
 Bless this house O Lord we pray; Make it safe by night and day; 
Bless these walls so firm and stout, Keeping want and trouble out:
Bless the roof and chimneys tall, Let thy peace lie over all;
Bless this door, that it may prove ever open to joy and love.
Bless these windows shining bright, Letting in God's heav'nly light;
Bless the hearth a'blazing there, with smoke ascending like a prayer;
Bless the folk who dwell within, keep them pure and free from sin;
Bless us all that we may be Fit O Lord to dwell with thee;
Bless us all that one day we May dwell O Lord with thee. 
(Click on graphics for music)


96 posted on 07/27/2005 8:23:13 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: Army Air Corps

Classic!

97 posted on 07/27/2005 8:23:16 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
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To: bentfeather; tomkow6

No. I'd rather be horse whipped than be a used Burka salesman.

:)


98 posted on 07/27/2005 8:23:25 PM PDT by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh walks in the footsteps of giants: George Washington, Thomas Paine and Ronald Reagan.)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

Yeah, well, after I got home today, I had to cook my own dinner!


99 posted on 07/27/2005 8:23:36 PM PDT by tomkow6 (................Coming soon!...Burka Tower & Casino..........Coming soon!...Burka Tower & Casino)
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To: AZamericonnie

Thanks, AZ, for the red, white, and blue.


100 posted on 07/27/2005 8:23:41 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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