FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~

July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

[Soaring Feather]

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!

This one always cracks me up!

You Might Be A Soldier If..

Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?

Computer humor?

"Why We Love Kids"

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

bentfeather

[Soaring Feather]

Love Snoopy. :-)

[luvie]

Thanks for the sparklies and for your powerful Tribute.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

To every service man or woman reading this thread.
Thank You for your service to our country.
No matter where you are stationed,
No matter what your job description
Know that we are are proud of each and everyone of you.

To our military readers, we remain steadfast in keeping the Canteen doors open.
The FR Canteen is Free Republics longest running daily thread specifically designed
to provide entertainment and morale support for the military.
The doors have been open since Oct 7 2001,
the day of the start of the war in Afghanistan.
We are indebted to you for your sacrifices for our Freedom.

FR CANTEEN MISSION STATEMENT
Showing support and boosting the morale of
our military and our allies military
and the family members of the above.
Honoring those who have served before.
CLICK HERE TO FIND LATEST THREAD.

[luvie]

You make me laugh, too, with your wonderful graphics!

[Soaring Feather]

Well, if you must know iMAC is really an apple not a hamburger.

Ma, get in here this is a Mac fight going on. JJ you around??

[tomkow6]

A Z-BRA?????

...that's a very healthy lady!

[Smartass]

I AM an AMERICAN

I am not white, I am not black, I am not red,
I am not yellow. I AM an AMERICAN, not because
of my religious or philosophical beliefs but
because of principals and ideals that were
handed down to me by my Forefathers.
I am not rich but neither am I poor because
I AM an AMERICAN and I have the right to
pursue life, liberty and happiness.

I am not a REPUBLICAN, DEMOCRAT, MODERATE,
INDEPENDENT, or LIBERTARIAN.
I am not a conservative nor am I a liberal.
I AM an AMERICAN and I AM FREE to go where
I want to go, to do what I want to do and to say what
I want to say but I do not believe I have the right to
harm my fellowman or indulge in conversation or
perform malicious acts that would dishonor my God,

I AM an AMERICAN not because I live in America
but because America lives in me. I am not free
because of our President, Senate, Congress,
Supreme Court or Free Press. I am Free because
BRAVE and COURAGEOUS men and women
endured hardships and made many sacrifices to
preserve the Way of Life our Founding Fathers
birthed when they drafted and adopted our
Great Constitution and started this Nation on the
pathway of Democracy.

I am forever indebted to our MILITARY, past and
present, for it is they who have fought, shed blood
and even died, to protect and defend our sacred
homeland. It is our Military that should be
honored as Heroes because it is they who will
battle forces that would try to take away my
Freedom and deny me the God given Right to
say I AM an AMERICAN.

By, Ray Cornelius



God Bless America and Our Great Military

[AZamericonnie]

First.....Welcome to the Canteen!

Second...way to go mmercier for donating your books to the Troops! I'm sure you made a difference!

[Lady Jag]

Calvin is one of the major laugh makers!

[tomkow6]

So, your'e mixin' Apples & hamburgers????

[luvie]

(((((hugs))))) Lauren!!!

Thank you so much for your loving tribute to our brave soldiers!!! And thank you for Ray singing that song with such emotion!

[Soaring Feather]

Awwwww, what a lovely Collie holding the flower basket. Thank you men.

[laurenmarlowe]

Photo by Spc. Matthew Wester
July 27, 2005

Sgt. 1st Class James Huff, a platoon sergeant from Company D, 3rd Battalion, 172nd Infantry Regiment, serving with the 1st Armored Division, searches for contraband under a bed in a house near Taji, Iraq. Huff, who also is a Rhode Island National Guard recruiter, recruited several of the Soldiers in his company.

Photo by Lt. Col. Wayne Yoshioka
July 27, 2005

Pfc. Melissa M. Telaak, from 1st Platoon, 164th Military Police Company, pulls convoy security duty in Kabul, Afghanistan.

Photo by Staff Sgt. Larry Garner
July 26, 2005

A Soldier from the 503rd Infantry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade, searches for a weapons cache in a well near Qalat, Afghanistan.

[The Mayor]

July 28, 2005

The Day The Sun Didn't Shine

Read:
Psalm 103

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits. —Psalm 103:2

Bible In One Year: Isaiah 64-66

We often take God's blessings for granted until they are taken from us. Then we recognize how important even the most common gifts of God really are.

There's a legend about a day the sun didn't rise. At 6:00 in the morning it was dark. At 7:00 it was still night. Noon came and it was like midnight. By 4:00 in the afternoon, people flocked to the churches to beg God for the sun.

The next morning, huge crowds gathered outdoors to face the eastern sky. When the first rays of sunlight pushed open the door of the morning, the people burst into cheers and praised God for the sun.

The psalmist knew he couldn't possibly remember all of God's benefits to him. He was distressed that he might forget them all, so he took his sluggish soul in hand, shook it, and urged it to consider at least some of the good gifts God gave to him.

Because God's goodness is as constant as the sun, we are in danger of forgetting what He showers on us each day. If we count our blessings one by one, we'll never get finished. But if we jot down a list of 10 or 20 gifts God gives us each day, something will happen to our hearts.

Let's try it and find out for ourselves. —Haddon Robinson

Every morning as we rise,
God's new mercies greet our eyes;
And when twilight shadows fall,
Evening blessings brighten all. —Anon.

If you want to be rich, count all the things you have that money can't buy.

FOR FURTHER STUDY
How Has God Loved Us?

[writer33]

Bring on the weak-kneed, milk toast known as management at the Canteen. :)

[mmercier]

Thank you for the warm welcome. I have browsed these threads in the past but never contributed.

I have several relatives in active service today, but would support all those who risk life and limb for this Republic regardless.

http://www.fra.org/support-troops.html

[AZamericonnie]

It's easy if you give yourself plenty of material.

I know I do on a daily basis!:)

[Soaring Feather]

LOL good pic, thanks LUV.

[writer33]

I'm with tomkow. Why use a burger when a REAL computer will do much better?

[luvie]

Breathtaking, SA! Just beautiful--did I ever tell you how much I love military aircraft!?? And those beautiful words by cedarswingman are just perfect tonight! You did an exceptional job! :o)