Posted on 07/26/2005 12:40:31 PM PDT by Maceman
A WEST NYACK, N.Y. MAN was found dead at his computer apparently the victim of trying to keep up with too many professional forums. Childress H. Wanamaker, 54, an account executive at a New York-based new media company, died of starvation according to the West Nyack coroner's office. Wanamaker's emaciated body was found by Loraine, his wife of 26 years, who told MediaPost she had been bringing her husband meals on plastic trays for weeks, but that he never took the time to eat them.
"He was glued to his computer 24/7," she said tearfully. "He was so afraid he was going to miss an opportunity to contribute a comment or start a discussion, that he just stopped eating." She added that Wanamaker's last words were "OK Picard, stick that in your pipe and smoke it..."
Computer forensic specialists from SUNY at Cortland discovered that Wanamaker was subscribed to 48 different forums and networking communities including one apparently having to do with the elderly called "oldtimers" and another apparently limited to just 100 people. They also found that he posted a comment into one forum or another on an average of two per minute every hour of the day for the past seven weeks.
"He felt under terrible pressure to be part of the online community," said his son, Lucian, who says he tried several times to get his father's attention and lure him away from the computer. "The only time he even looked up was when I told him I had seen Dane Madsen trying to steal his car out of the driveway."
Police found what appeared to be an organization chart taped to the wall of Wanamaker's den with lines linking small photos of people unknown to the police including a Tom Hespos and an Adam Boettiger. Neither is considered a suspect in Wanamaker's death.
"Once, I thought I had him," said Lucian Wanamaker, "when I said that mom had made cookies, but half out of his chair, he just sat back down mumbling something about two Roman gods; I believe it was Jupiter and Atlas having some sort of titanic battle. 'Let them eat PIE,' he bellowed banging on his keyboard."
Computer forensic specialists reported that there was no order or continuity to Wanamaker's forum postings. "It looks like he just sort of randomly commented on whatever was in the discussion string at the time," said Stephen Hall, CUNY-Cortland adjunct professor of intemperate and impulsive behavior. "He let nothing go by unchallenged by his own point of view, nor failed to respond to any other community member asking for advice or a new job. This consumed not only 24 hours a day, but also, apparently, his physical health."
In what must be a record, Wanamaker was linked into to over 15,250 other community members, many of whom he exchanged notes with daily. He also contributed to 375 blogs and was expected to start an online column about the impact of interactive communications on health, when he died.
A virtual memorial service will be held online at a date to be determined.
;^)
Is this from the Weekly World News?
"It looks like he just sort of randomly commented on whatever was in the discussion string at the time,"
Oh . . . .
I have added you to all of wannamakers ping lists
ping
ping
Cyber-Cremation in the form of "Delete" is in order here.
PWNED!!!
thank God for this posting
reminds me that i absolutely must eat something
just as soon as i finish thi.......(plop)
what the...
Sounds like a freeper.
The danger of freeping is VERY REAL.
&:~)
Oh my, that's really funny. Thanks.
That is truly gross.
Man! I've always hoped that my last words would be "put that in your pipe and smoke it"!
This mental aberration is evident constantly by someone on almost every Internet discussion board I've seen. A lot of posts contribute nothing to the discussion (made infamous in Usenet with the "Me too." posts). I'm not sure if it's due to vanity, self-esteem issues, or just loneliness.
Hints for avoiding this fate:
1. Put the computer in the kitchen.
2. Learn to type one-handed, so you can eat while you compose.
3. Eat while using the mouse to read threads. Mentally compose responses to post when the meal is over.
4. Live in an area with intermittent power outages.
5. Eat while answering nature's call.
6. Get voice recognition software so you can dictate your responses between bites.
7. Drink Ensure through a straw while typing with both hands.
8. Marry someone with enough gumption to cut the power on the computer. Quickly eat while rebooting and waiting for ScanDisk to run.
"2. Learn to type one-handed, so you can eat while you compose"
The one handed typing thing has been done for a long time on the internet.
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