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Jon Carroll: Wendy's Chili Finger, The Movie
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/27/5 | Jon Carroll

Posted on 05/27/2005 8:05:21 AM PDT by SmithL

Call me shallow, but I do love the chili finger story. I think the chili finger story would make a very good movie, perhaps several movies -- a quickie docudrama starring Mariska Hargitay, a comedy starring Jennifer Aniston, and then, in the fullness of time, a sensitive art film starring Robin Wright Penn, with Paul Giamatti as the guy who sold his finger.

See. That's the part I like. According to police reports, a guy named Brian Rossiter lost his finger when the lift on a truck severed it. He kept the finger, perhaps in the hope that it could be reattached, perhaps merely as a souvenir. I wonder how many freezers in this great nation contain body parts retained for merely sentimental reasons.

So one day, Rossiter was having lunch with Jaime Placencia, and the talk naturally turned to fingers. I am envisioning something like this.

"Hey," says Rossiter. "Remember that 50 bucks I owe you?"

Placencia: "Sure do."

Rossiter: "How about I give you my severed finger instead? It's nicely preserved."

Placencia: "What would I do with a severed finger?"

Rossiter: "You'll think of something."

So they go back to Rossiter's house, and the Baggie changes hands. It's sort of like a drug deal, except what happened was entirely aboveboard. It is not, as far as I know, illegal to sell your own body part. Now, if Rossiter were part of a conspiracy to use a severed finger for fraudulent purposes, he could probably be busted on a RICO violation. At this writing, Rossiter himself has not been charged with any crime, but let his foolish behavior serve as a warning -- we should keep our fingers to ourselves at all times. When you let your fingers out of your sight, that's when the trouble begins.

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: chilifingers; fingerfood

1 posted on 05/27/2005 8:05:25 AM PDT by SmithL
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To: SmithL

that makes two stupid articles from this rag today...


2 posted on 05/27/2005 8:09:53 AM PDT by Mr. K (some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help)
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To: SmithL
I wonder how many freezers in this great nation contain body parts retained for merely sentimental reasons.

I'll bet absolutely no one saves an aborted fetus "for sentimental reasons". That fingertip is non-viable tissue.

3 posted on 05/27/2005 8:11:11 AM PDT by weegee ("Do you want them to write a piece about how great the military is?" Elizabeth Bumiller - NY Times)
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To: Mr. K

The SF Chronicle reads like a bad college newspaper. (Maybe high school.)


4 posted on 05/27/2005 8:12:36 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: SmithL
I wonder how many freezers in this great nation contain body parts retained for merely sentimental reasons.

In the modern era of forensics and biometrics, never give up your fingers.

5 posted on 05/27/2005 8:14:14 AM PDT by weegee ("Do you want them to write a piece about how great the military is?" Elizabeth Bumiller - NY Times)
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To: SmithL
"Hey, waiter!! There's a finger in my chili!!"

"Shhhh... keep your voice down... everyone will want one!"

6 posted on 05/27/2005 8:18:18 AM PDT by LIConFem (Mein Luftkissenboot ist mit Aalen voll.)
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To: SmithL

FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS..........Literally!.....


7 posted on 05/27/2005 8:20:52 AM PDT by Red Badger (I woke up this morning in ecstatic languid ennui...................)
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To: SmithL
I wonder how many freezers in this great nation contain body parts retained for merely sentimental reasons.

I dunno. But I have one of my wisdom teeth on my shelf as part of my little collection of cool things, among which is a sliver of a lump of coal from the Titanic wreck.

8 posted on 05/27/2005 8:24:58 AM PDT by Maceman (The Qur'an is Qur'ap.)
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To: SmithL

Get Barbra Streisand to play Anna Ayala. That way, ole Babs can chalk another flop to her resume.


9 posted on 05/27/2005 8:31:59 AM PDT by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
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To: PBRSTREETGANG
The SF Chronicle reads like a bad college newspaper. (Maybe high school.)

And it's a masterpiece compared to its duller little sister, the San Jose Murky News, which aspires to fishwrap.

10 posted on 05/27/2005 8:33:02 AM PDT by martin_fierro (Fierro-san)
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