Skip to comments.The Whizzinator: A House Panel's No. 1 Priority(your tax dollars at work barf alert)
Posted on 05/18/2005 7:32:08 AM PDT by freepatriot32
Every so often, in the hushed galleries of Congress, history unfolds in a manner that casts the momentous business of Capitol Hill in stark, even humbling relief.
Then there are moments spent discussing the Whizzinator.
Yesterday morning in Room 2123 of the Rayburn Building, Rep. Bart Stupak, a sober-voiced Democrat from Michigan, held up an advertisement for the "drug-test subversion device," which received national attention last week when it was learned that an NFL player had been detained at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport after authorities found the state-of-the-art prosthetic in his luggage (with a packet of dehydrated urine). The player -- Onterrio Smith of the Minnesota Vikings -- was detained, word of his predicament leaked (ahem), and Smith became an inadvertent billboard for the Whizzinator.
The Whizzinator isn't quite the gold standard in athletic endorsements. Rather, Stupak is bemoaning the ease with which people can buy Whizzinators with credit cards, money orders or checks, and have them delivered by U.S. mail or UPS or FedEx.
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
I thought the Republicans were supposed to be calling the shots these days.
Oh crap! Just when Red McCombs was set to dump the Vikings, now this! Evidently, some of the players are finding more creative ways to spend their bucks!
I am so glad I work my ass off in order to send tax money to the government so they can piss it away (no pun intended) on stupid marxist crap like this.If they are going to raise us like they are our daddys I want my 18 years of back child supports that these s.o.b.s owe me .
Yeah, right. :-(
By what authority did the airport police detain him?
This is the dangerous direction we are moving with all this security paranoia.
The device is legal. It is not a danger to aircraft, yet some busybody decided they have been appointed school yard discipline mother for the whole nation.
I'm going to save this article.
How niave can you be.There are no republicans and democrats in congress or the senate you only have the single republicrat party its time for people to start voting for t he only second political party the libertarians
I am fuming. The frightening part of this story is NOT the fools in Congress having the hearings. It's the airport security's behavior. Where the heck does this end? What's going to happen when they discover tax returns in someone's luggage filled out two diferent ways? Will they then turn the owner in to the IRS?
This is both eye-opening and ominous.
IIRC, it was because of the vial of dehydrated urine, which was a white powder. There was also a bottle of pills labelled "clearing agent", I think. Basically, the justification for detaining him was suspicion of carrying illegal drugs.
Agreed. No different than radar detectors in autos.
I'm with you on voting for another party. But choice is the Constitution Party, the only REAL conservative party around today as far as I'm concerned.
If the devices are not already illegal, why was he detained?
HI I'M BILLY MAZE. I SCOLDED YOU ABOUT OXYCLEAN and ORANGE-GLO,
NOW I WANT TO SCREAM LIKE A BANCHEE ABOUT A FANTASTIC NEW PRODUCT THAT PISSES AWAY TOUGH TESTS
INTRODUCING THE WHIZZINATOR 5000
WATCH HOW THIS PRO FOOTBALL PLAYER JUICED WITH STEROIDS AND A WEEKEND OF LOVEBOAT AND EIGHTBALLS PISSES HIS WAY THROUGH A CLEAN EXAM!
WHIZZINATOR EVEN WORKS GREAT ON PUTTING OUT SMALL FIRES!
WATCH HOW I PISS ON THE NEIGHBOR'S DOG THAT RUINED MY PRIZE WINNING ROSE BUSHES!
EVEN GREAT FOR FOR A SENATOR'S SECRET FETISH!
GET WHIZZINATOR AND SAY GOODBYE TO TESTING!
(Voiceover) Buy The Whizzinator in 4 easy payments of $100. Order now and we'll include a CD "Sounds of Waterfalls, Streams, and Trickling Faucets," three free wee wee pads, and fifteen tubs of Oxyclean. ORDER NOW!
THE WHIZZINATOR What a pisser!
I assume they come in the proper flesh tones. I wanna black one!
BILLY MAZE HERE.
I MAKE MAD, LOUD PASSIONATE LOVE TO MY WIFE BUT LIKE MOST WHITE GUYS I CAN STAND TO USE A FEW EXTRA INCHES...
THANKS TO SPACE AGE SCIENCE THE WHIZZINATOR 5000 HAS COME UP WITH A BRAND NEW WHIZZINATOR
COLORED IN DARK BROWN THE WHIZZINATOR (LDS) IS SURE TO IMPRESS FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE
(Voiceover: Buy a Whizzinator 5000 (LDS) in four easy payments of $500 and well rush you a free CD from 50 Cent and Al Green absolutley free.
Whizzinator 5000 LDS: Black Power!
So al Qaeda is using these to kill people? Or do the puritans reckon it's better to die sober than live buzzed?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.