Posted on 05/10/2005 7:11:28 AM PDT by dead
A FEMALE university security guard who decided to defecate in a bushy area because toilets were too far, got more than she had bargained for when she was bitten by a snake on her buttocks.
The 29-year-old woman who is employed by a private security company contracted to the National University of Science and Technology in Bulawayo gave out a scream when the snake struck her bottom, alerting her colleagues who rushed to her aid.
A university spokesman said the woman who declines to be named was to blame, charging: "She knows where the toilets are."
According to the Bulawayo Chronicle, the woman chose to relieve herself in the bush because there were no toilets near the main entrance where she was manning the gate.
Recounting her ordeal, she said: "I felt a painful sting and I ran screaming for help towards my colleagues. However, that is all I can remember because when I woke up I found myself in a hospital bed."
Other guards who came to her aid say they saw a snake escaping into the thick bush on an adjacent piece of land to the university and immediately summoned for an ambulence. She was admitted for two nights at the nearby United Bulawayo Hospitals.
Another guard told the Chronicle: The situation is really pathetic as we are exposed to danger because we are forced to use the bush as a toilet. We have tried to ask the university to build some toilets for us on several occasions, but up to now they have not done anything about it."
Felix Moyo, the university's director of public relations had no sympathy for the guard.
I heard that there was a female security guard who was bitten by a snake, but I am not sure what she was doing at the time. However, if she was relieving her self in the bushes then that is not the universitys fault as they know where the nearest toilets are if they need to relieve themselves, he said.
This just might be the best thread ever.
[sidebar] What.?... It was the woman that was defacating..
Nevermind...
Suspicions confirmed!
I knew it could be done! Directions will be passed along to Ma-Ma' momentarily! ;o)
Well, I'd have to say your photo brings to mind the bright scarlet and golden hues of a magnificent sunset or the brilliant light of a full moon against a navy sky; the smell of the air freshened by a recent rainstorm; the delightful sound of a child's laughter; the feel of clean, soft and silken sheets against your skin after a rewarding day of hard work; the tangy sweet flavor of that first bite of rhubarb pie.
Yeah, that's what I thought about when I was pinged and the photo then graced My Comments page. How about the rest of you? :o)
Eh. I just saw some freaky guy in an improvident g-string gettin' bit on the butt by a snake.
And this cloud looks like a fluffy bunny.
Improvident. Good choice of words.
(Looks more like some yappy, long-eared dog running to me.) :o)
Two words: Kegel Exercises. Women CAN stand up to pee once those muscles are in tip-top form, ;)
"Who was more surprised during both of those instances, you or the ones who tripped over you?"
Well, I don't remember the doe having much to say...she rust kept running. The Colonel and I had a good laugh though. Luckily, we only had blanks during that exercise and no fixed bayonettes, or one of us could've seriously been hurt.
He was like that, though. Even when the exercises were done, he'd still come mess with ya, just to make sure you knew your chit. ;) (I miss that guy. He was one of the best Commanders I had.)
Hey - whatduyaknow! That is a very educational site! Instructions for anything you might wish to do, or not, LOL. Ain't the internet great?
Di: I hope you didn't miss Xena's "educational website" in post#141. Sounds like the Kegels aren't completely necessary.
Well, I'd at least like to thank you for moving the freakish thing down far enough on my comments page that I don't have to see it.
Oy! :)
LOL... I'm debating whether I ought to bring this up to my daughter or not ... Oy is right! Actually, I'm debating about debating about whether I ought to bring this up to my daughter... LOL
Well, not to put TOO fine a point on it, but, if she has a husband he'll appreciate it, too. Not so much the "peeing standing up" which some husbands might find freakish, but the other "benefits" that go along with strong pelvic muscles. :)
I'd post the picture I have, but I don't want another suspension....
I agree with Batavia 100%, my ex wife, Velveeta was a pretty good size woman. She could actually plug the toilet so bad, roto-rooter had to come out to our place about every 2 weeks. You know how big a block of Velveeta chesse is, well she could lay one about the same size, only not rectangular shaped.....more like the Goodyear Blimp
,,, great nations weren't built on those notions, just as great snake dens weren't built on unscheduled motions.
Perhaps your husband should reconsider.
Most snakes eat rats and mice and are probably beneficial.
Its most unfortunate that no one killed or captured the offending snake.
The article never mentioned whether it was venomous or not, and different types of antivenins are available, specific to the type of snake involved.
Nope - we shoot snakes around here. Cats and dogs and traps take care of rodents.
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