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Runaway bride's spokesman vanishes
JWR ^ | 5-9-05 | Andy Borowitz

Posted on 05/09/2005 1:37:16 PM PDT by FlyLow

Pastor Tom Smiley, who became a familiar face to millions of Americans as the public spokesman for runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks, failed to show up at a press conference scheduled for today, sparking a nationwide manhunt.

Those close to Mr. Smiley said that they were shocked by his sudden disappearance and began holding a candlelight vigil for his safe return.

"I hope to high heavens that there is no foul play involved," said Sheila Delawn, a family friend of Mr. Smiley's who joined the vigil outside his home in Gainesville, Georgia. "What we are all praying for is that the pressure of being Jennifer's spokesman just got to be too much for him and he got cold feet."

The possibility that Mr. Smiley might be a runaway spokesman was to be the subject of a press conference held today by Mr. Smiley's spokesman, Pastor Raymond Tonlin, but that press conference was scrapped when Pastor Tonlin himself failed to show up.

(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: borowitz; pastor; wilbanks
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1 posted on 05/09/2005 1:37:17 PM PDT by FlyLow
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Comment #2 Removed by Moderator

To: FlyLow

Ha ha. I get it. There hasn't been enough runaway bride articles.


3 posted on 05/09/2005 1:40:37 PM PDT by subterfuge (*Wherever a baby needs killin', we'll be there----the ACLU*)
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To: FlyLow

Great! Now if we could find a way for "reporters" to do the run away act all would be hunky-dory.


4 posted on 05/09/2005 1:42:08 PM PDT by G.Mason ( Because Free Republic obviously needed another opinionated big mouth ... Proud NRA member)
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To: FlyLow

ROFL!

That old lady in Albuquerque had better get those knitting needles a-clackin' to make a multicolor blankie for Reverend Tom to put over his silly head!


5 posted on 05/09/2005 1:43:21 PM PDT by Palladin (Proud to be a FReeper!)
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To: FlyLow

go Greyhound!


6 posted on 05/09/2005 1:45:03 PM PDT by stylecouncilor
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To: ironfang
Tomorrow's story: Pastor found vacationing in Hawaii. Wilbank's family said he needed a vacation and it was their way of thanking him. Along with the pastor who was flown to Hawaii on a private jet were two local judges, 16 attorneys and one woman dressed in what appeared to be a towel.

Do we really have to hear any more about this family. The 32 year old Wilbanks kid makes me seethe with disgust.

7 posted on 05/09/2005 1:45:41 PM PDT by Sacajaweau (God Bless Our Troops!!)
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To: FlyLow

Deja vu?


8 posted on 05/09/2005 1:56:44 PM PDT by Fudd Fan (Theodore: the GOOD Roosevelt)
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To: FlyLow
I haven't seen him.

9 posted on 05/09/2005 1:59:13 PM PDT by evets (God bless President Bush and VP Cheney)
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To: FlyLow

he was kidnapped by a hispanic nun :)


10 posted on 05/09/2005 2:07:31 PM PDT by Random Nonsense
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To: evets

LOL.


11 posted on 05/09/2005 2:10:39 PM PDT by stevio (American Male)
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To: FlyLow

Heh heh. Was he seen buying a large, striped towel?


12 posted on 05/09/2005 2:18:12 PM PDT by MizSterious (First, the journalists, THEN the lawyers.)
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To: evets

"A shark's eyes... like a doll's eyes... black and lifeless... until they roll over when they're taking a bite of you."

13 posted on 05/09/2005 2:19:02 PM PDT by snarks_when_bored
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To: evets

Human/Alien hybrid?


14 posted on 05/09/2005 2:27:14 PM PDT by BenLurkin (O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
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To: FlyLow

Why on earth are we still hearing about this badly-behaved woman and her family? I thought Sean Hannity would never stop talking about her.


15 posted on 05/09/2005 2:28:40 PM PDT by American Quilter
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To: evets

holy crap..don't do that! That scared the bejesus out of me! wow!


16 posted on 05/09/2005 2:44:13 PM PDT by ladiesview61
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To: FlyLow

curiouser and curiouser! Runway bride and now a runaway preacher(spokesman), Sounds to me like there are some unhinged folks up there in northern Jawja. I think I am starting to hear the faint, ever so faint sounds of Dueling Banjos.


17 posted on 05/09/2005 2:57:57 PM PDT by Bar-Face
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To: American Quilter

just don't want to be rude :) but why we give stray dog too much attention is beyond me...


18 posted on 05/09/2005 3:01:35 PM PDT by Toidylop
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To: FlyLow

It's much ado about absolutely nothing.


19 posted on 05/09/2005 3:04:29 PM PDT by chainsaw
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To: FlyLow

*LOL*

Still, I feel sorry for this Pastor. He's between a rock and a hard place.


20 posted on 05/09/2005 3:06:47 PM PDT by k2blader (Immorality bites.)
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