Why I'm not a 'South Park Conservative', by Michelle Malkin

Townhall.com ^ | May 4, 2005 | Michelle Malkin

[OESY]

I'll get to First Lady Laura Bush's bawdy stand-up routine in a minute. But I want to highlight a related new book out about how young conservatives are shaking up the dominant liberal media culture. It's called "South Park Conservatives." My name is listed on the cover along with many other (mostly) right-leaning pundits, websites, and bloggers, but I must confess to having mixed feelings about the honor.

The best-selling book's author, Brian C. Anderson of the Manhattan Institute, writes a fun, breezy survey documenting the rise of talk radio, FOX News, the Internet, conservative publishing, and college Republican activism. Anderson's chapter on the success of conservative talk radio and the abysmal failure of liberal Air America to replicate it is incisive. Another chapter on the blogosphere (alone worth the price of the book) gives readers a useful history of the explosion of news, opinion, and political websites that have smashed the left-wing media monopoly.

But how did such a wide-ranging list of individuals and organizations -- Anderson's book cover includes the names of conservative-leaning Internet pioneer Matt Drudge and center-left journalist Mickey Kaus, the libertarian Tech Central Station, the culturally conservative WorldNetDaily, political upstart Arnold Schwarzenegger and political chameleon Andrew Sullivan, plus Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, and myself, along with a feature blurb from Jonah Goldberg -- all get lumped under the umbrella term "South Park Conservatives"?

Anderson argues that Comedy Central's cartoon series "South Park" embodies the "fiercely anti-liberal comedic spirit" of the "new media" from Kaus to Coulter. The cartoon, he writes, reflects a "post-liberal counterculture" that is "particularly appealing to the young, however much it might offend older conservatives."

Well, I'm 34 and no fan of "South Park." I have many good friends who are indeed huge boosters of the show, but I find that the characters' foul language overwhelms any entertainment I might otherwise derive from the show's occasional, right-leaning iconoclastic themes.

"South Park" may be "politically incorrect." But "politically incorrect" is not always a synonym for "conservative."

My discomfort with "South Park's" increasingly mainstream vulgarity is not a matter of nitpicking. We're not just talking about a stray curse word here or there. As liberal New York Times columnist Frank Rich points out, "South Park" "holds the record for the largest number of bleeped-out repetitions (162) of a single four-letter expletive in a single television half-hour." That's probably about the same number of profanities uttered at John Kerry's infamous New York City celebrity fundraiser last summer, which Republicans rightly condemned for its excessive obscenities.

Rich is wrong about most things, but he's painfully on target in noting the incongruous pandering now taking place by some in the cool-kids clique on the Right. Conservatives criticize Hollywood relentlessly, but as Rich notes, "the embarrassing reality is that they want to be hip, too."

Which brings me to Mrs. Bush. She demonstrated at the celebrity-studded White House Correspondents' Dinner this weekend that you can entertain without being profane. Most of her humor was just right: Edgy but not over the edge. But her off-color stripper and horse jokes crossed the line. Can you blame Howard Stern for feeling peeved and perplexed? And let's face it: If Teresa ("I'm cheeky!") Heinz Kerry had delivered Mrs. Bush's First Lady Gone Mildly Wild routine, social conservative pundits would be up in arms over her bad taste and lack of dignity.

The First Lady resorting to horse masturbation jokes is not much better than Whoopi Goldberg trafficking in dumb puns on the Bush family name. It was wholly unnecessary.

Self-censorship is a conservative value. In a brilliant commencement speech at Hillsdale College last year, Heritage Foundation president Ed Feulner called on his audience to resist the coarsened rhetoric of our time: "If we are to prevail as a free, self-governing people, we must first govern our tongues and our pens. Restoring civility to public discourse is not an option. It is a necessity."

Lighten up, you say? No thanks. I'd rather be a G-rated conservative who can only make my kids giggle than a "South Park"/"Desperate Housewives" conservative whose goal is getting Richard Gere and Jane Fonda to snicker. Giving the Hollyweird Left the last laugh is not my idea of success.

[pizzalady]

"...I never want Mrs. Bush to say things which are disparaging to GW or to her office. It will never be a winning proposition. JMHO..."

Isn't the purpose of the correspondents dinner precisely to "roast the President"? And the President traditionally tells self deprecating jokes?

The Libs will never get off GW's back, regardless of what is said.

As a senior citizen, AND a right wing Christian, I wondered what all the fuss was about. I didn't consider those jokes (which were written FOR Mrs. Bush) to be over any line. Any child who would have had degenerate thoughts over those two jokes, is already more street savvy than they should be.

As for the reference to Desperate Housewives, in every forum, it is mentioned that Mrs. Bush has never even seen the show.

Democrats are just doing what they always do. Making something out of nothing to try to drag their opponents down to their level. When are conservatives going to recognize the ploy and stop reacting by jumping on the liberal band wagon to join them. If your mind is already in the dirt, it's easy to imagine a double-entendre exists even when it doesn't.

Laura's jokes would have been exploited against her and her husband regardless of what she said.

[tiamat]

Have you seen the new movie yet?

[MamaB]

I wondered what made them post so much hatred for the First Lady. The world is coming to an end because of a horse/cow story that has been around for many, many years. They need to get their minds out of the gutter!

[bonfire]

"I think he has "The Gift".


But good.

[Mo1]

Really? I missed that one. That's good on my fraternity brother

He was VERY funny

My sides were hurting when he did the Condi - Lisa jokes .. *L*

[baseballmom]

I think it was the autopilot{Airplane} scenes where my spouse and I looked at each other and said whoopsie, this is not for the little ones.
Still, that was relatively tame and subtle compared to some of Laura's jokes.

Now you are being completely absurd, and disingenuous. That you would compare Laura's jokes to a scene that portrays oral sex is simply over the top.

[bonfire]

"If enjoyment of life means yukking it up when someone in a postion of respect rolls around in the gutter,"


Who are you referring to here?

[utahagen]

I am sincerely baffled by the fuss over Laura Bush's remarks. From what I have read, they were G-rated complaints about how GWB goes to bed too early. Freepers, what am I missing?!

[bonfire]

Don't ask!

[onyx]

Oh yeah, sd-joe is "on the right board" --- it's you, who's suspect.

BSF - this one hails from your state...lol.

[tiamat]

ROFLMAO!

I was wondering who would pick that up!

[TASMANIANRED]

I'm wanting to get in on this.

[Yossarian]

Man, I'd never think Free Republic would get to a point where we have threads about 'horse masturbation'. Next thing you know we'll be making jokes about hairs growing on hooves, or horses going blind or wearing glasses or such.

(Well, on the other hand I joined during the Lewinsky episode, so I guess the more things change, the more they seem the same....)

[tiamat]

You're not misssing anything other than a bunch of Puritans with their panties in a twist.

Laura stepped down off her pedastal for a few moments and they are foaming at the mouth over it.

[Howlin]

I think it was the autopilot scenes where my spouse and I looked at each other and said whoopsie, this is not for the little ones. Still, that was relatively tame and subtle compared to some of Laura's jokes.

You're actually saying that what Laura Bush said was worse than the blow job scene in Airplane?

[MamaB]

You should have seen me when my then 10 year old daughter got me on a skateboard with her 3 year old sister. Needless to say, they had a good time discussing how their mommy fell in the hallway trying to save the 3 year old from a spill. Looking back, it would not have hurt her if she did take a fall. Then, there was the time that I locked my keys in the house and thought all the doors were locked. I broke a window, climbed on a lawn mower and fell. I had bruises from my knee to my ankle. Then to top it all off, the sliding doors were unlocked!

[Miss Behave]

"Lighten up, Francis"

Yes. In a NUTSHELL. Lady Laura is a class act through and through. Not that it should matter, but she apparently has never seen the show "Desperate Housewives." Neither have I--just don't have the interest. It's all BESIDE the point and thrust. Her jokes were railleries on her audience. She turned the tables on a group of who would have nitpicked ANYTHING she said. And she turned the tables masterfully and in FULL control of what she said.

I've been at my parents' house the last few days, and my dad thought that Laura delivered a SMACKDOWN to the press corps...in HER way. I do too. Laura loves her husband...and she chose a way to convey that love in a way in which the press corp would have had a VERY hard time NOT laughing. She "goosed them good," IMO. And Dubya's so VERY obvious eye-glimmer, back at his beloved, showed BIGTIME. THAT'S what her joke routine imparted.

My dad was laughing and told me when Laura fist met George's grandmother Dorothy, that Dorothy said to Laura:

"And...so...Laura...what do YOU do?

Laura, without missing a beat, and in true Laura (awesome) fashion, replied:

"I read and I smoke." :-)

And as a sidebar to the supposed DISCUSSION about all of this, I am sick TO DEATH of those who CANNOT make a point of contribution without ATTACKS and GOTCHAS and back and forth NAMECALLING and childishness. And much of it comes from long time FReepers--and in coming back from my parents' and reading these Laura threads--it's embarrassing to see. I am so sick of TALIBAN TALIBAN TALIBAN NAZI NAZI NAZI FRINGE FRINGE FRINGE that I could scream. Dear Lord, the flame-baiting and sophomorics are out of control...and are SO obvious. Half of the FR bandwidth is wasted on silly back and forths by a very few who ride ROUGHSHOD on this board. It's childish and transparent.

/Soapbox

[Luddite Patent Counsel]

Thanks!

[bonfire]

I pray none of these people are my neighbors. I would have to move.

[Celtjew Libertarian]

The same Al Gore's whose wife tried to censor rock music and who had a board member of the PTC as his VP candidate? That Al Gore?

Frankly, I have no fear of right fundamentalist Bible thumping Christians. I disagree with them on some issues, but I believe they are out to do what they see as the best for this country. I can't say that for about 80% the Democrats.

Ideally, Christian conservatives and South Park Republicans would be two different parties, arguing over what's best for America. Instead we have to unite and oppose the Dems' attempts to hurt America.

It doesn't mean we can't argue among ourselves -- like we're doing here. It does mean that we're all in the same boat.

But in Al Gore -- who manages to be pro-moral censorship and pro-environmentalist censorship and is now one of the coddlers of the anti-Semitic, Hate-America left -- you got just about everything I dislike wrapped up into one hateful package.