You might be...

If watching Eleanor Clift on "Crossfire" can curdle your milk...an hour after you finished your cereal...you might be a Red Stater.

If the thought of Barney Franks as the "head of a Congressional probe", seems biologically plausible...you might be a Red Stater.

If you've ever awaken in nauseated horror from a dream where you were re-incarnated as a flea trapped in the bottom of Michael Moore's underwear...you might be a Red Stater.

If you believe that Hillary could finally achieve nirvana, if she would just dump Bill and marry Ellen...you might be a Red Stater.

If the most frightening thing Ted Kennedy could say to you in a bar was, "I'll drive"...you might be a Red Stater.

If seeing those purple fingers held up proudly in front of the cameras brought an involuntary smile to your face...you might be a Red Stater.

If the sight of Alex Baldwin has you reaching for your wallet to help him buy that ticket he threatened during the elections...you might be a Red Stater.

If you wouldn't mind catfishing till midnight on a sandy beach with Anne Coulter, you might be in trouble if your wife reads this... (Just Kidding).

If your life is going well enough that you can spare the time on a quiet Sunday morning to read this sort of thing...you probably are...a Red Stater.

What you MUST believe to be a good Democrat…..

This list is by no means complete, but it is a good start to explain what some people have to believe in order to support a particular political party. Most especially, it is what you have to believe to vote for that party, in any office…

You might be a Democrat...

1. If you believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding…

2. If you believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same 4th graders about sex…

3. If you believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than US nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists…

4. If you believe that there was no art before federal funding…

5. If you believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented, changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by Yuppies driving SUVs…

6. If you believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural…

7. If you are against capital punishment but support abortion on demand...

8. If you believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity…

9. If you believe that hunters don't care about nature, but Loony activists who've never been outside of Seattle do…

10. If you believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it…

11. If you believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars…

12. If you believe that the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution…

13. If you believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high…

14. If you believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison…

15. If you believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't, because the right people haven't been in charge…

16. If you believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady…

17. If you believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge…

18. If you believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House…

19. If you believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal…

20. If you believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States…

21. IF You believe that anyone wanting to keep the products of their labor is selfish, though, it is not selfish to take other people's money away from them to pay for the programs that you want to fund.

22. IF You believe that the constitution is a living document that casts both an umbra and a penumbra.

23. IF You believe that you can make our co country stronger by breaking up its most successful corporations.

24. IF You believe that the death penalty is wrong but think that killing unborn children is merely a "choice".

25. IF You are sure the reason why socialism did not work in the Soviet Union was because they did not start out with enough wealth. Further, you believe that the US has enough wealth to support socialism.

26. IF You believe that discouraging wealth building and job creation through the means of a graduated income tax is "progressive".

27. IF At every opportunity you want to give men fish instead of teaching them to fish for themselves.

30. IF You believe that the phrase "it couldn't happen here" is enough to insure tyranny does not take root in the United States.

31. IF You believe that the bad consequences of peoples' life decisions should be born by all of society, especially the rich.

32. IF You believed Hillary about the "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy" ... and that it made Bill commit adultery in the Oval Office and use foreign objects to have sex with "that woman".

33. IF You believe that punishing criminals of color for their violent crimes is racist.

34. IF You somehow believe that the major media in this country does not have a liberal bent.

35. IF You have to believe at least 35% of what comes out of Al Gore's mouth.

36. IF You believe that government's duty to provide the national defense, one of its few constitutionally charged duties, is lower in priority than all of the un-constitutional wealth-transfer systems you can devise.

37. IF You must practice disinformation and hate under the name of progress. You strive to be an emotional being, devoid of logic and reason. You must not understand the true meaning of compassion.

38. IF You must believe that a lone speckled owl is worth more than 10,000 American's livelihood.

39. IF You must accept dead citizens voting in an election, so long as they do not cross party lines.

40. IF You believe that it is morally acceptable to disarm your neighbors, leaving them at the mercy of criminals, even though you will still rely on men with guns to protect you.

41. IF You not-so-secretly wish that people never become successful, insuring that their continued dependence on the welfare state keeps them voting the Democrat party line.

42. IF You believe that the bill of rights should act to limit the powers of government, except that the 2nd, 9th and 10th amendments have absolutely no meaning nor any power. Further, you ignore any part of the constitution that will slow down your form of creeping socialism.

43. IF That to give people a tax cut is to "spend" their money. About 111 times in the course of the three presidential debates, Gore said that "Under Gov. Bush's tax cut proposal, he would spend more money on tax cuts for the wealthiest 1 percent than all of the new spending that he proposes for education, health care, prescription drugs and national defense all combined."

44. IF People who believe that all of their money belongs to the government, except that portion that the governing class decides to "spend" on tax cuts, should vote for Gore. So, too, should those who believe that if the government undertakes huge new spending programs, taxes will not increase.

45. IF That you can trust a man who swears his abiding passion is to "fight" for the little guy even though, in 1997, out of an income of $197,729, Gore donated only $353 to charity, and who, in 2000, had to be publicly shamed before having the toilet and sink in his tenant's house repaired.

46. IF YOU BELIEVE That there is any such thing as a "lock box" in American political life -- presupposing that one administration and/or one congress can bind another.

47. If you believe That pharmaceutical companies must be strong-armed to forego profits in the name of lower prices for seniors, and that you can rely on the good faith of a man who casually asserts that "the big drug companies" are now "spending more money on advertising and promotion than they are on research and development." Actually, a Kaiser Family Foundation study released in July reveals that the drug companies spent between $5.8 and $8.3 billion for advertising in 1998, versus $21 billion for research and development.

48. If you believe That what this world needs, in the words of Al Gore's environmental manifesto "Earth in the Balance," is "to establish a coordinated global program to accomplish the strategic goal of completely eliminating the internal combustion engine over, say, a 25 year period."

49. If you believe That it is possible to commit American troops to every trouble spot around the world while simultaneously starving the military for funds.

50. If you believe That the creation of new federal programs to provide universal preschool, expand Medicare, provide prescription drugs to all of America's elderly (Bush proposes to cover only the poor), provide universal health coverage for children, fund Technology for Tomorrow Challenge and scores of other proposed initiatives will neither increase the size of the federal government nor eat up the surplus.

51. If you believe That a man who routinely breaks even the rules of a debate format should be trusted when he assures us that throughout the campaign of 1996, he engaged in no illegal fund raising.

52. If you believe That President Clinton's policies, standing alone, have led to "instead of the biggest deficits in history, we now have the biggest surpluses. ... Instead of quadrupling our national debt, we've seen the creation of 19 million new jobs. Instead of a deep recession and high unemployment, America now has our strongest economy in the history of the United States."

53. If you believe Until a Republican Congress arm-wrestled him into accepting a balanced budget, President Clinton's policies would have created deficits into the indefinite future. As to the recession of 1990/1991, it was quite mild (not, as Gore always says, "the double dip recession," whatever that is, and the "worst recession since the Great Depression"). The recovery had begun before Clinton/Gore took office in January 1992.

54. If you believe That, once elected, N.E.A. Al would actually implement his proposal for testing new teachers.

55. If you believe That affirmative action does not mean quotas, merely attempts to provide opportunity where it has been lacking.

56. If you believe That Al and Tipper Gore have been consistent critics of Hollywood and the rock music industry, as the vice president boasted during the third debate. In fact, Gore dragged his wife to Hollywood in 1988 -- the year he invented the Willie Horton issue, no he really did -- and forced her to grovel before record company executives promising to cease her campaign for music ratings. He was running for president and wanted the industry's financial support.

57. If you believe That Bill Clinton was "one of our greatest presidents."

58. If you believe You're not sophisticated enough to realize that "liberty" and "socialism" are mutually exclusive concepts.

59.IF You believe that Europe (even with its faulty currency, high unemployment, and economic stifling tax rates) is an example if the successful socialism, but ignore China, India, and the former USSR which account for almost 1/2 of the earth's population.

60. If You support "choice", as long as it has nothing to do with where your kids go to school, owning a firearm, deciding where your retirement money goes, or what doctor you go to see.

61. If You believe that every vote counts, except those from Republican dominated counties and from the military.

62. If You believe that children are expensive, but no matter how many children poor people choose to produce the poor are always victims of society and not their own bad choices.

63. If You believe in the communist theory of "redistribution of wealth", but only if the government redistributes it.

64. If You don't give much to charity, after all, why should you have to give up necessities like cable TV, cell phones, electronic gadgets, eating out, and air conditioning when there are people who have even more than you do?

65. If You believe the Bill of Rights actually has an amendment declaring the "right to privacy".

66. If You believe that Social Security is not a risky pyramid scheme.

67. IF You believe oppression comes from business and prosperity comes from government.

68. If You believe that John Ashcroft is a horrible choice for a federal position because he is a religious man, but Joe LIEberman was a great choice for a federal position because he is a religious man.

69. If You don't understand the basics of "supply and demand".

70. If You believe that conservatives are racist, but quotas, social promotion, lower expectations, and set asides aren't.

71. If Your arguments for supporting abortion are religious in nature because you know you'd be blown away if you made it a scientific argument.

72. If You believe "workfare" is the same as slavery.

73. If you believe Self-esteem is more important than actually doing anything to earn it.

74. If You believe that Christians have no business being included in the umbrella of diversity.

75. If you believe that Even though most Americans choose to eat a poor diet and choose not to exercise, you feel it is still the taxpayer's responsibility to pay for their medical care.

76. If You believe Big Business is evil because it fills a demand the public is screaming for.

77. If You believe that the Bill Of Rights says "There is a separation of church and state" but not the actual line: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or PROHIBITING THE FREE EXERCISE THEREOF".

78. If You believe that Santa decorations should be banned from public schools at Christmas due to religious issues, but don't believe witch decorations should be banned from public schools at Halloween even though Wicca is a federally recognized religion.

79. If you believe There was no art before federal funding.

80.IF You believe that drilling a piece of the enormous Alaskan preserve will be horrible for the environment, but hauling energy inefficient oil tankers from the Middle East (halfway across the planet) won't have any negative impacts on the environment.

81. If You believe that in a free society doctors should be servants of the state.

82. If You believe that anyone who agrees with you is open minded and believe that anyone who disagrees with you is closed minded.

83. If You believe that the only reason communism hasn't worked is because the right people haven't been in charge yet.

84. If You feel that anyone who beats you in an intellectual argument is a bigot.

85. At the most basic level, the liberal is an adolescent forever in search of a world without moral consequence.

86. If you believe Freedom from moral consequence can only be secured by a collectivist, totalitarian state.

87. If you believe The liberal religion reveres the twin gods of genitals and government, and is overseen by a priesthood of psychologists.

88. If you believe "Freedom" to the liberal is strictly freedom of the genitals.

89. If you believe All non-sexual individual freedoms are despised by the liberal because they demand moral responsibility.

90. If you believe The fundamental power struggle of the liberal is individual v. collective. The individual must be relieved of all power in favor of the collective.

91. If you believe Individualism demands moral responsibility. Collectivism hopes to eliminate the need for moral responsibility.

92. If you believe he U.S. Constitution - specifically the individualistic Bill of Rights - is the enemy of the liberal.

93. If you believe The liberal despises the United States because it is the premier guarantor and promoter of individualism in the world.

94. If you believe All institutions and concerns - schools, environment, courts, etc. - serve no relevant purpose other than the promotion of collectivism.

95. If you believe Abortion is necessary to guarantee genital freedom and eliminate moral consequence.

96. If you believe The basis of psychology is the elimination of moral responsibility.

97. If you believe The liberal must create an atmosphere of crisis and fear to justify collectivist oppression.

98. If you believe Any religious person who believes or promotes moral consequence is the enemy of the liberal and must be oppressed.

99. If you believe Despite decades of spectacular failure, the liberal clings to the collectivist dream because it is far more than a theory of government. It is a religion.

100. If you believe The liberal seeks to dominate any institution which can weaken or destroy individual parental rights - public schools, child abuse agencies, pediatric associations, etc..

101. If you believe The liberal applauds the imprisoning of home schooling parents who dare to raise their children outside the control of collectivist public schools.

102. If you believe Private ownership of guns is the single greatest symbol of individual power, and therefore despised.

103. If you believe All individual freedoms demand the responsible behaviour of the individual, and therefore demand a moral code. Liberals despise freedom because they despise morality.

104. If you believe The liberal loves Bill Clinton because of who he is, not in spite of who he is.

105. If you believe The liberal despises national sovereignty which protects individual freedoms.

106. If you believe The liberal promotes international governments (UN, EU, etc.) which seek to destroy individualism protected by sovereign states.

107. If you believe The liberal fears any hint of individualism in any part of the world, and is obsessed with the centralized control of all human activity and thought.

108. If you believe "Multi-culturalism" is the code world for a single, oppressive, collectivist culture.

109. If you believe Liberals speak often of tolerance, but only tolerate liberals.

110. If you believe The liberal seeks to criminalize any speech which promotes morality or individualism as "hate speech".

111. Environmentalists lie as a matter of course.

112. The liberal's only method of debate is to insult and discredit anyone who dares to disagree.

113. When possible, liberals opress anyone who questions their beliefs.

114. Liberals despise all innocence - especially the innocence of a child.

115. Liberals seek the sexualization of children and the normalization of pedophilia, all in the pursuit of genital freedom.

116. In the liberal mind, your freedom is their oppression.

117. Private property and individual wealth is integral to individualism, and the enemy of the liberal.

118. The liberal hates you.

119. The liberal seeks to replace a moral world view with an emotional world
view.

120. The liberal typically chooses a career which produces nothing of value - lawyer, bureaucrat, "activist", etc. - and uses government to extract the wealth of others.

121. Liberal programs enrich liberals and do little to help the poor.

122. The liberal despises masculinity as a symbol of individual power.

123. Feminists groups are about lesbianism and socialism, not equal rights for women.

124. Liberals are perfectly willing to destroy you financially, remove your children, and imprison you for what you believe.

125. Liberals fear technology and change - because neither can be centrally controlled.

126. Liberals are not obsessed with sex, but with promiscuity. Promiscuity is the dominate theme of the liberal media culture.

127. Liberals despise the suburbs as a manifestation of individual prosperity, private property ownership, and the family.

128. Liberals despise marriage and family because they are institutions which frown on promiscuity.

129. Liberals despise the automobile as a symbol of individual freedom and power.

130. Liberals seek to control public schools, and force all children into them, in order to foster promiscuity and collectivist ideology in children.

131. Other diseases kill millions more, but liberals are obsessed with Aids because it is a moral consequence of promiscuity.

132. Liberals are more committed than conservatives because their politics is also their religion.

133. Liberal activities are all about ego - to demonstrate "I care more than you do" without really helping anyone.

134. Whenever a liberal expresses concern "for the children", they are using and targeting children to expand promiscuity, collectivism, and their own pocketbooks and egos.

135. Because collectivist politics is their only morality, liberals have no problem with deceit, oppression, or violence in their pursuit of collectivism.

136. Liberals are elitists who exempt themselves from the oppressive rules they impose on the general population.

137. Liberals howl if a transvestite or convicted felon is even slightly offended, but openly bash Christians.

138. Liberals dream of a return to a centralized, 1940's urban environment. We all ride the bus from a small, dirty, big city apartment to an 8-5 union job.

139. Liberals believe that wealth is static - anyone who makes money must be stealing it from someone else.

140. Liberals claim to be against violence, but makes excuses for liberals like Castro who torture political dissidents.

141. Liberals have enormous compassion for criminal predators, but little for the victims.

142. Animal Rights activists despise humanity.

143. Liberals believe that passing religious values to children is a form of child abuse.

144. Liberals use moralistic tones and catch-phrases like "social justice", but their only moral is the accumulation of power

145. Liberals ideologies tend inevitably towards world-wide totalitarianism.

146. Liberals are never satisfied with the power they have gained over the lives of individuals - they must control every thought and detail of human activity.

147. In the liberal world, all problems stem from individualism, and all solutions are collective.

148. Liberals are humorless bores.

149. If You believe that militia groups are more of a threat to your safety than inner-city gangs.

150. If You believe that if all guns were banned, crime would disappear.

151. If You believe that criminals will flock to gun buy back programs to turn in their guns.

152. If You believe that if the government funded one less military helicopter that thousands of starving children would be fed.

153. If You believe that the government should have more control over the lives of people.

154. If You believe that Pat Schroeder, Diane Feinstein, Charles Schumer, Howard Metzenbaum, Arlen Spector etc.etc. are actually working for your best interests.

155. If You see nothing wrong with tens of thousands of communist bloc tanks and special purpose military vehicles being stationed in our country. (If you even know they are there)

156. If You believe that Socialism/Communism can work and has just gotten some bad publicity, or hasn't been properly implemented, or hasn't been given a real chance, or ...

157. If You believe that the Bible is racist, sexist and homophobic.

158. If You believe that "it takes a village to raise a child".

159. If You believe that the members of Randy Weaver's family were dangerous criminals with an arsenal.

160. If You believe that the mainstream media is too conservative.

161. If You believe that most of our health care problems would be solved if the government would increase taxes and take over the health care industry.

162. If You would vote for Hillary Clinton.

163. If You believe that all hell would break loose if it were not for U.N. "Peacekeepers".

164. If You don't think it's "fair" for some people to have bigger houses than others.

165. If You believe that law enforcement should be federalized, and should forcibly enter homes and confiscate guns.

166. If You believe that Christianity is harmful, but you're completely open-minded to allowing your children to be exposed to Buddhism, Taoism, witchcraft, etc..

167. If You believe that the government has been honest with us concerning POW's and MIA's.

168. If You believe that the government has been honest with us concerning Gulf War Illness. \

169. If You believe that the President and his wife are telling the truth about Whitewater, Travelgate, Vincent Foster's files, the FBI files, etc. etc.

170. If You want to outlaw tobacco, but legalize marijuana.

171. If You believe that adult white males are racist, sexist and homophobic.

172. If You believe that it is impossible for a black person to be a racist.

173. If You believe that it is impossible for a woman to be a sexist.

174. If You believe that television talk shows make meaningful and important contributions to society.

175. If You believe that everything will work out if we just think positively.

176. If You believe that it's the government who grants us our rights.

177. If You believe that a public school "education" is superior to that of one who was home schooled.

178. If You believe the Multi-Jurisdictional Task Force had to incinerate the children at the Branch Davidian Church " in order to save them".

179. If You believe you can survive an encounter in your home with an armed attacker by dialing 911.

180. If You believe that handing out condoms to school children will decrease pregnancies.

181. If You believe that a Federal Reserve Note is lawful "money".

182. If You believe all that you see on the television news.

183. If You believe that Americans have always paid income taxes, and you see nothing wrong with the graduated income tax being one of the ten steps to destroy a free country, as outlined in the Communist Manifesto.

184. If You believe that there is too much freedom and that we should surrender some of our rights so that the government can make it more "safe" for us.

185. If You don't view people as individuals, but rather as members of a group.

186. If You equate patriotism with terrorism.

187. If You Believe that the First Amendment guarantees freedom from religion.

188. If You believe that minorities can't succeed on their own, and must have "help".

189. If You believe that Jane Fonda has contributed more towards world peace than Pee-Wee Herman.

190. If You believe that 2+2=4, or 5, or 7, as long as the child’s feelings are not hurt.

191. If You believe that the United States policy to have no Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Defense whatsoever helps to keep your children safe.

192. If You find it acceptable for an avowed communist and former head of the Soviet Union to be in charge of supervising the disarming of America's defensive capabilities.

193. If You believe That the failure of any government program is proof it needs funding;

194. If you believe That Bill Gates symbolizes what is wrong with America;

195. If You believe That the Communist Chinese expected nothing in return for their contributions to the 1996 Clinton-Gore campaign;

196. If You believe That the Ten Commandments are judgmental and, consequently, Dangerous for our children to learn in school;

197. If You believe That, in the spirit of inclusion, our armed forces should welcome Gay soldiers into their shower stalls;

198. If You believe That the problem of gun violence will be solved as soon as law-abiding citizens are forced to disarm;

199. If You believe That I prove my compassion and generosity when I support tax Increases on anyone who is richer than I;

200. If You believe That Republicans are evil, except Republican union members whose Wages are confiscated for the purpose of funding democratic campaigns;

201. If You believe That Bill Clinton was correct when he vetoed welfare reform, correct When he vetoed it again and correct when he proudly signed it into law;

202. If You believe That Bob Jones is a religious bigot with dangerous ideas when his Faith dictates white Christians should marry only white Christians but that Joe Lieberman is a good man with deeply held religious principles when His faith dictates orthodox Jews should marry only orthodox Jews;

203. If You believe That a thousand FBI files on prominent Republicans arrived at the White House as a result of an innocent bureaucratic snafu under the watch Of a former bar bouncer who became head of White House security and no one knows who hired him;

204. If You believe That Joe Camel brainwashed kids into smoking cigarettes but that Hollywood's sex and violence do not influence them;

205. If You believe That we support more gun laws and fewer convictions;

206. If You believe That media reports on the homeless are newsworthy unless a Democrat Is in the White House;

207. If You believe That the timing of the American bombing of a Sudanese pharmaceutical Plant on the day of Monica Lewinsky's testimony was purely coincidental;

208. If You believe That everyone deserves equal rights, except white males;

209. If You believe That we should march in favor of partial birth abortions and against The execution of child murderers;

210. If You believe That we support the Constitution's unwritten right to privacy but Not its written right to bear arms;

211. If You believe That taxpayer dollars should never fund religious art except for art That denigrates Christianity;

212. If You believe That only a risky Republican scheme would propose changes for high Schools that graduate students who can't read their diplomas;

213. If You believe That Al Gore invented the Internet and Hillary Clinton is a Brilliant cattle futures speculator;

214. If You believe That every government program is essential and under funded;

215. If You believe That minorities deserve high positions in government except when They are conservative;

216. If You believe That Bill Clinton has never forced himself upon a woman unless there Is DNA evidence to prove it;

217. If You believe That we don't need to worry about records being set for the trade deficit, personal bankruptcies and minorities in prison until a Republican is in the White House;

218. If You believe That, for every Clinton scandal, Republicans were guilty of "rushing To judgment" prior to proving wrongdoing and guilty of "dredging up old news" after proof was established;

219. If You believe That thou shall not judge, unless it is for the purpose of exposing conservative white males as angry, gun-toting rednecks and conservative blacks as back-stabbing charlatans;

220. If You believe That the administration created our nation's economic prosperity Even if we can't name the Clinton-Gore proposals that caused it;

221. If You believe That big companies, which succeed in a free market by routinely Offering the best product or service at the lowest price, shouldn't be trusted, and that big government, which can confiscate and redistribute its citizen's wealth and imprison them if they don't cooperate, should be trusted implicitly;

222. If You believe That Al Gore discovered Love Canal and was the hero of "Love Story";

223. If You believe That we have no reason to suspect espionage occurred when hard Drives containing our most valuable nuclear secrets were missing from the Los Alamos laboratory;

224. If You believe That we should be outraged by the partial birth abortion of any Animal except a human;

225. If You believe That the failure of 22,000 gun laws to prevent gun violence is proof That more gun laws are needed;

226. If You believe That Clarence Thomas is unfit for office but Bill Clinton is not;

227. If You believe That if our children aren't taught sex in school, they'll never find Out about it;

228. If You believe That anyone who supports school vouchers, the strategic defense initiative, parental notification for abortion and privatization of social security is a right-wing kook, unless his name is Joe Lieberman;

229. If You believe That George W. Bush's degrees from Harvard and Yale do not change The fact that he is an idiot, but Al Gore's failing out of Vanderbilt is no reflection on his mentality;

230. If You believe That the only reason Socialism has never succeeded is because the Wrong people have been in charge;

231. If You believe And so, let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend And foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of donkeys

232. They love drug addicts. Absolutely adore them- more then most other diverse people. They love Drug Addicts so much, that they want to take your money, and use it to buy needles for the Drug Addicts. Now that’s what I call Compassion- with a Large “C”.

233. Liberals like Children too! (Hey, why else would they support NAMBLA?). In any case, they like children so much, that they want to take your money, and buy condoms for your ten-year-old daughter.

234. Liberals are so compassionate towards children that they want you to pay for their education. But that’s not all. They also want those schools that you pay for to invest in bananas and cucumbers, and teach children how to apply those condoms. Liberals and kids…gotta love ‘em.

235. Liberals are so compassionate that they want to make sure that those overworked airport security guards get a break. So, they want to make them government employees. Among the benefits that these poor, exploited workers can expect to receive are: Longer coffee breaks, the ability to screw around and not get fired, and freedom from anything that looks anything like accountability.
236. Liberals are so compassionate that they want the United States to have mercy on the Taliban. “Don’t let the baby killing US military go near our beloved Taliban- we won’t have it! We’ll stage a sit-in!””
237. Liberals are so compassionate that they want to tax you, tax you, then tax you again for the horrific act of lighting up a –gasp- cigarette!
238. Liberals are so compassionate that they want to destroy our health care system by turning it over to the government. I guess they think public schools do a good job.
239. Liberals are so compassionate that they want you and I to pay for teenage girls to have abortions.
240. Liberals are so compassionate that they want the United States to “Unilaterally Disarm” itself. What that means, in non-liberals (i.e. common-sense) terms is: the US should grab its ankles and let communist china have at.
241. Liberals are so compassionate that they want to keep NAMBLA members (i.e. child-raping perverts) from being castrated. Gotta love ‘em for that! (Oh yeah, they don’t even want NAMBLA- which is essentially a club that teaches these perverts how to do their thing- to be shut down!)
242. You're protesting President Bush for what YOU THINK he will do to harm innocent civilians, but the million or so murders Saddam Hussein HAS committed are not relevant to you.
243. Sweden has the ideal society.

244. Martin Sheen is an actor who is smart enough to engage in political discussion. Ronald Reagan should never have been elected President because he's just an actor, for crying out loud.
245. The amount of money it will cost each individual citizen to pay for the WAR is important to consider. The amount of money welfare, food stamps, and medicare cost each individual citizen is irrelevant, and selfish to consider.
246. When people try to discuss the current administration with you, your face becomes red, you raise your voice and use the words: "idiot" and "oil" repeatedly.
247. You think Helen Thomas is an intelligent, gutsy lady and a dynamite reporter.
248. You think all war is evil. And Jimmy Carter is a voice a reason.
249. You're still not clear about what exactly was wrong with Communism.
250. Your parents paid for you to go to an expensive private college and five years later you still spend more time protesting than earning a living.
251. You don't like the sight of guns or soldiers, even in a Disney movie.

252. You refuse to think that you would have put a womanizing moron in the white house for a 8 year pizza party with Hollywood's finest. You voted for him so he had to be the right man.

253. You think Al Gore should be President today and none of this would have happened.
254. You think Saddam might be getting a bad rap. After all, he SAID that he doesn't have WMD
255. Peaceable American citizens must be disarmed because guns are bad and peaceable Americans "are just bombs waiting to go off" but efforts to disarm Saddam Hussein are counterproductive and dangerous and we should just try to talk with him, even though he has killed his own people and invaded neighboring countries.

256. You don't like the sight of guns in anyone's hands, save the hands of the bodyguards protecting your kids. (Rosie O'Donnell)
257. You think wealth creates itself.
258. You believe government's chief function is to divide up the pie in a zero sum game.
259. You think lowering taxes lowers revenues.
260. You believe talk radio is the problem.
261. You think white males are the worst thing that ever happened.
262. You believe filibustering judges is OK if they are suspected to be conservative.
263. You aren't aware the networks are biased.
264.You believe groups have rights. And one of those is the Democratic Party's absolute right to the black vote.
265. You believe in re-counting the votes until your candidate wins, no matter how long that may take.
266. You think laws are for losers, especially election laws.
267. You believe the Wellstone kids actually planned that whole wake/pep rally on their own.

268. You think a twenty year old women is too young to own a handgun, but a fourteen year old girl should be able to have an abortion without her parents knowledge or consent.

269. Smoking dope is just fine, but smoking cigarettes is bad.

270. FreeRepublic is part of the fringe but DemocraticUn that other site whose name we can not mention, is the voice of the people.
271. you think saddam is bad .........but not " that bad "
272. You think that Limbaugh fans are brain-washed zombies because that's what they said on CNN, and you aren't about to question anything they say
273. You think France and Germany (the countries which gave us communism, socialism and fascism, including all of their deadly results) are standard bearers of moral leadership in the world and that America, which liberated those countries, doesn't desire peace.

274. You know you're a liberal if you're on the Michael Medved show right now saying that KFC is the moral equivalent of Auschwitz or Dachau.

275. you think AL Jazeera is more mainstream than Fox News, and consider CNN and CBS to be part of the vast, right-wing conspiracy.

276. You think Israel tricked Egypt into attacking in the 6-day war.
277. You can simultaneously be in favor of mandatory electric vehicles and against hydroelectric dams, nuke plants and fossil fuel plants.

278. You can be a member of both PETA and Planned Parenthood.

279. You can think that playing the President on TV gives you true political insight.

280. You can vote for Grey Davis and still be stunned when your taxes shoot up.

281. You can believe that educrats have found a new and better way to teach kids to read, that no one has ever tried before in history.

282. You think that bond issues, fees, licenses, permits, etc. aren't the same as taxes.

283. You think scientific progress can be mandated by law.

284. You think that dead people should vote early and often, especially if they are American Indians in South Dakota.

285. You think Bush is a racist and Sharpton isn't.
286. You say "If you don't like abortion, don't have one!" but scowl if I say "If you don't like guns, don't buy one."
287. You believe in gun registration but think Bill Clinton was right to make a deal with N. Korea without any verification
288. You take your daughter to work.
289. You make your son take sewing lessons.
290. You make your husband change 51% of the diapers
291. If you're FOR electric cars and AGAINST electric chairs
292. You think Paula Poundstone is really funny--and probably a great mom!

293. You think Garrison Keillor is a great leader, but you don't quite understand his humor.

294. You lunge over the counter to purchase a "Wisdom of Maya Angelou" calendar.
295. You use the word "Corporation" with the same anger and contempt a WW2 vet would use the phrase "Nazi Germany".
296. You know you're a liberal if you scream about dissent being crushed while leading a boycott against conservative radio hosts.
297. You believe John Ashcroft poses a greater danger to America than Osama bin Laden

298. You think President Bush lied to the nation about Iraq but his predecessor did not, nor did John Kerry.

299. You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy.
300. You believe all conservatives are racist, but do not think minorities can ever succeed without Affirmative Action.
301. You can't decide which is worse: the Patriot Act or the Patriot Missile.
302. You believe Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Yasser Arafat were fairly and democratically elected, but President Bush was not.

303. You root for prisoners when they escape from our oppressive prisons, but oppose allowing poor children to escape from failing public schools.
304. You support every kind of "diversity" on campus, except political orientation.
305. You support banning the smoking of tobacco and legalizing marijuana.
306. You are enraged by the so-called mistreatment of Muslim prisoners (who have gained weight while dining on their specially prepared Koran-approved meals) at Guantanamo Bay, but believe the world should have stood idly by while Saddam Hussein filled mass graves.
307. You have found where the right to an abortion is written in the Constitution but cannot find where the Constitution provides for a right to keep and bear arms.
308. You support campus speech codes that ban pick-up lines and amorous gazes, but never spoke out against President Clinton's physical sexual harassment in the White House.

309. You applauded Jimmy Carter for talking about human rights in foreign policy but opposed George W. Bush for doing something about human rights.

310. You believe that trial lawyers taking 33 to 40 percent of a plaintiff's recovery in lawsuits is just about right, but the federal government taking this amount of our income in taxes is not nearly enough.

311. You believe the former Governor of a New England state with 608,827 people is more than adequately experienced to be President in 2004, but the Governor of a Southwestern state with 21,325,018 people was completely unprepared in 2000.

312. You agree with Toni Morrison that President Clinton was "the first black President," but didn't criticize Al Sharpton for recently labeling President Bush a "gang leader."

313. You believe we could get more truth out of the Pentagon if only Don Rumsfeld were replaced by Mohammed Al-Sahhaf.

314. You believe evangelical Christians are destroying America but don't feel threatened by the radical Wahabbi sect of Islam.

315. When it comes to violent crime, you believe in hating the crime but loving the criminal.

316. You support unlimited appeals for convicted criminals, but believe it is undemocratic for Californians to reverse their earlier mistake of electing Gray Davis.

317. You believe U.S. exports of genetically modified foods pose a greater threat to African nations than corrupt dictators like Zimbabwe's Mugabe.

318. You believe welfare is a fundamental human right and workfare is a human rights violation.

319. You believe religion is a scourge on our society, but becoming one with Mother Nature by merging with the universal consciousness and harmonizing with lunar reverberations will save us.
320. You believe President Bush is an environmental criminal for poisoning the water with arsenic, but have never complained about Saddam Hussein's devastating Iraq and Kuwait's environment by setting intentional oil well fires and committing genocide against the Marsh Arabs by draining their wetlands.
321. Your car sports the bumper sticker saying that "it will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need and the military has to hold bake sales," but oppose allowing the U.S. military to volunteer recruitment tables on college campuses because of their "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

322. f the above has successfully profiled you, congratulations! You have won a one-way ticket to Paris aboard the massive cruise ship, "The U.S.S.R. Michael Moore." Your ticket will be held at the nearest Dennis Kucinich for President rally. Matricular consular ID cards issued by foreign governments will be gladly accepted as identification.
323. You saw what happened on September 11th, and think America caused it. Convieninently, you forget how many have died at the hands of terrorists outside this country, with no ties what so ever to America, and that some people are just evil.
324. You think its unfair that America has such a great military, that like Madeline Albright has said, needs be turned over to a UN - comprised of countries, many of which are run by tyrants - to enforce America's safety from terror; and just like Albright, you think we are keeping Ossama in some hole as an "October Surprise."
325. You once thought "fighting" terror was OK, especially if it meant lobbing a missle or two. But you also saw no irony in the missle attack coming on the eve of the history-making impeachment of America's most corrupt president since Warren Harding.
326. You think the fact Saddam Hussein's uncle being hand-picked by the Nazi's to form the Baath Socialist Party doesn't necessarilly mean he or his heir Saddam were Nazis. Besides, what's wrong with socialists?
327. You believe non-inspections are cause for the enforcement of even more non-inspections, provided proper warning is given in advance that such inspections are about to occur.
328. You think Salman Pak is a food wrap, or the name of a once-famous Iranian dissident.
329. You believe Libya's decision to halt its membership in the world of terror was due to the integrity and hard work of a guy being serviced by an intern, whose most memorable line in history will be, "I did not have sex with that woman....."
330. Your'e a bit sad that Hillary has taken a side in support of our troops, but remain assured in knowing it is only as a means of taking power from the evil Bush.
331. Chances are the closest you or a close family member come to past or present military status is having once watched Mash on TV. But you do think Jimmy Carter is one of the great military and diplomatic strategists of the 20th century.
332. You hated Nixon as a scowling and mean-spirited politician, but think Howard Dean is just keen. After all, with this hatred of Bush,
333. If you believe pacifists and peaceniks support the most liberal senator because of his Vietnam War heroics –
334. If you agree with propagandist moviemaker Michael Moore that Mr. Bush is a greater threat to freedom and world peace than the megalomaniacal mother-of-all palace-dwellers who attacked his neighbors, used chemical weapons on his people, ground up live Iraqis and publicly beheaded women who dared complain.
335. You think wanting to donate to "the public good" with someone else's money makes you a good person
336. You've tried to argue that all of societies problems are based on the fact that McDonald's, by law, only has to pay $5/hr.
337. You argued that a few more months of sanctions and Sadam Hussein would fold like rookie poker player.
338. You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "is a victim of Draconian budget cuts."
339. You think the United States, not the French and Germans who were on the take from Saddam's oil for palaces program, corrupt and greedy.
340. You believe that the government must license and regulate hairdressers to protect society from the disastrous effects that would no doubt result if women were permitted to make decisions about such things on their own; but that taking the life of a helpless, innocent unborn child is a personal matter that each individual woman must be allowed to decide for herself.
341. You believe that a television program which shows a 5-second scene of someone putting on a seatbelt or mentioning use of a condom will save thousands of lives because viewers will be impressed by this example and follow it, but a television program that shows 60 minutes of wanton violence and irresponsible sex will have no effect on the viewers, because after all, this is just a work of fiction and people's behavior is not affected by what they see on television -you think the rich can get richer off people who have no money.
342. You feel Fidelity means not cheating on your mistress.
343. You think a mother has a right to kill an innocent 5 month fetus because her pregnancy would interfere with her career, but feel we shouldn't put to death the man who raped and murdered 14 women.
344. You've filed for unemployment within two weeks of getting out of high school.
345. You think "ethics" is an eastern European country. -You protest your neighbor clearing their yard of weeds.
346. If you’ve ever taken advice from someone named “Meathead” or “Babs,” -If you cried tears of agony when the Berlin wall came down
347. If you think Republicans are racist, but cheer on the Anti-Bush rhetoric of Robert "KKK" Byrd -If you constantly bring up the rumor that President Bush used cocaine, but are outraged when someone pokes fun at Ted "Chappaquiddick" Kennedy
348. You want to save the rainforest, but not unborn children

349. You think that if someone is getting richer, someone, somewhere, must be getting poorer.
350. You think that protestors outside nuclear power plants are dedicated activists, but protestors outside abortion clinics are dangerous zealots interfering with a legal activity.
351. You believe that more federal regulations will make your life better.
352. You believe that even though the top 20 percent of taxpayers pay 80 percent of income taxes, that the rich are not paying their “fair share.”
353. You think that Rush Limbaugh’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Michael Moore.
354. You believe in global warming today just as firmly as you believed in global cooling back in the 1970s.
355. You believe that the network news is a better indicator of what “real” news is than talk radio, Internet news sites, and blogs.
356. You believe that there was never, ever a problem with biased news coverage until Fox News went on the air.
357. You believe that Mikhail Gorbachev deserves more credit for losing the Cold War than Ronald Reagan deserves for winning it.
358. Your parents gave you an acre of preserved rain forest for your first birthday.
359. You cannot name a single NASCAR driver.
360. You mentally subtract 100 points from someone’s IQ if the person speaks with a Southern accent.
361. You think that Dan Rather got a raw deal.
362. You panic if you discover that you’re out of chick peas.
363. You think that the phrase “separation of church and state” is in the Constitution.
364. You pride yourself on your global awareness, global sensitivity and global outlook, but can’t name your state legislator or school board representative.
365. You are dedicated to helping the poor, the downtrodden and the less fortunate, but you have never given blood.
366. You have not seen "The Passion of the Christ," and you don’t know anyone who has seen it.
You believe that a woman should make it on her own, without depending on her husband (except for Hillary Clinton).
You believe that professional, working women should never be judged on their appearance (except for Katherine Harris).
You believe that rich people should not be allowed to contribute so much money to candidates for office (except for George Soros).
You believe that government should make a special effort to hire members of traditionally oppressed groups, such as African-Americans (except for Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice).
You feel a deep sense of common cause with oppressed groups, such as Hispanic immigrants (except for Cuban Americans fleeing Castro).
You believe that a mother’s wishes for her child, especially a mother’s last, dying wish for her child, should outweigh the wishes of a father who had long before deserted his family (unless the child is named Elian Gonzalez).
You think people in south Florida, who can’t figure out how to work a butterfly ballot, ought to have the final say in choosing the president of the United States.
You have no problem with Hollywood movie starts flying around in private jets to give speeches on the evils of SUVs.
You think that raising taxes will reduce the budget deficit.
You deplore prejudice and bigotry in all its forms, but think that everyone in the “red states” is an idiot.
You are more concerned, more often, with the rights of convicted felons than you are with the rights of small business owners.
You uphold a woman’s right to choose, unless a woman chooses adoption, chooses to be a stay-at-home mom, chooses to homeschool, or chooses to start a business.
You are more concerned with Vice President Cheney’s links to Halliburton than with Saddam Hussein’s links to international terrorism.
You have used the phrase, “in Europe, the government pays for health care and vacation,” without irony.
You are worried about how the French view Americans.
You believe that nativity scenes should be banned from public view, but that anyone objecting to pornography “only has to look the other way.”
And finally, you are almost certainly a liberal if you refuse to admit that you’re a liberal, and accuse anyone of calling you a liberal of McCarthyism.

1. If, conceding the liberal argument, homosexuality is a genetic predisposition, and a test becomes available to let expectant mothers know if their, "fetus," is predisposed to homosexuality, should that mother be allowed to abort the "fetus," on that basis? If she would abort a "homosexual fetus," does that constitute a "hate crime?" Does preventing her from doing so impose on a woman's right to choose?
2. If we were not meant to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?
3. Suppose you and one other person were shipwrecked on a desert island, not under the jurisdictional law of any state and/ or country. Is it morally right for that person to kill you, or you to kill that person to stretch the food supply? If not, what makes it morally wrong?
4. If sexual activity of any sort is "ok," provided it is between consenting adults, does this include incest between children over 18 and their parents? If not, why? Why not... 17? 16? 15? 14?
5. If the government can arbitrarily set the minimum wage at $5.35 an hour, why not set it at $200.00 an hour? Wouldn't this improve the lot of the poor and lower working class? To what degree should the employer be able to determine the value of labor?
6. If you over-paid a shop owner $20.00 for a new carpet cleaner, would you not expect a refund or credit? Would you consider it theft if the business kept the overpayment without refunding or crediting you? Does not, an anticipated multi-billion dollar surplus indicate an overpayment on the part of the American taxpayer?
8. Is it truly and logically possible to be governed by our consent without ultimately being given the resort of arms? How is it possible that a human can honestly and legitimately consent without owning the means to refuse?
9. What paragraph(s) of the Constitution outline the responsibilities of the Department of Education?
10. If we, as a nation and political system have no moral superiority over nations and governments, why do we spend public monies on maintaining memorials to those that have died in order to preserve and spread our way of life? Should we no longer fund these projects?
11. If reparations for past wrongs can be demanded by the descendants of the victims from the descendants of the perpetrators, should native Americans be named as defendants in law suits against the tobacco industry? If, as many Afro-centrist scholars contend, Ancient Egyptian Civilization was the product of black africans, are not the descendants of Israelite slaves who built the pyramids owed reparations?
12. If one maintains that Darwinian evolutionary theory should be taught as fact, and at the exclusion of all other theories in public schools, one must subscribe to the notion of "survival of the fittest." If one believes that, "survival of the fittest," is a natural, evolutionary process, does the Endangered Species Act set a dangerous precedent in man's interference with nature? Wouldn't the artificially protracted preservation of a species destined for extinction result in an ecological catastrophe?

14. If teaching the proper use of birth control leads to fewer unwed mothers, why wouldn't the teaching of the proper use of firearms lead to fewer shootings?

Why do people hold liberal-left positions? (Liberal and left were once very different, but not anymore.)
This question has plagued me because I have long believed that most people, liberal or conservative, mean well. Very few people wake up in the morning planning to harm society. Yet, many liberal positions -- I emphasize liberal positions rather than liberals because most people who call themselves liberal do not hold most contemporary liberal positions -- have been wreaking havoc on America and the world.
How, then, can decent and often very smart people hold liberal positions?
There are many reasons, but the two greatest may be naivete and narcissism. Each alone causes problems, but when combined in the same person, they are particularly destructive.
At the heart of liberalism is the naive belief that people are basically good. As a result of this belief, liberals rarely blame people for the evil they do. Instead, they blame economics, parents, capitalism, racism, and anything else that can let the individual off the hook.
A second naive liberal belief is that because people are basically good, talking with people who do evil is always better than fighting, let alone killing, them. "Negotiate with Saddam," "Negotiate with the Soviets," "War never solves anything," "Think peace," "Visualize peace" -- the liberal mind is filled with naive cliches about how to deal with evil.
Indeed, the very use of the word "evil" greatly disturbs liberals. It shakes up their child-like views of the world, that everybody is at heart a decent person who is either misunderstood or led to do unfortunate things by outside forces.
"Child-like" is operative. The further left you go, the less you like growing up. That is one reason so many professors are on the left. Never leaving school from kindergarten through adulthood enables one to avoid becoming a mature adult. It is no wonder a liberal professor has recently argued that children should have the vote. He knows in his heart that he is not really an adult, so why should he and not a chronologic child be allowed to vote?
The second major source of modern liberalism is narcissism, the unhealthy preoccupation with oneself and one's feelings. We live in the Age of Narcissism. As a result of unprecedented affluence and luxury, preoccupation with one's psychological state, and a hedonistic culture, much of the West, America included, has become almost entirely feelings-directed.
That is one reason "feelings" and "compassion" are two of the most often used liberal terms. "Character" is no longer a liberal word because it implies self-restraint. "Good and evil" are not liberal words either as they imply a moral standard beyond one's feelings. In assessing what position to take on moral or social questions, the liberal asks him or herself, "How do I feel about it?" or "How do I show the most compassion?" not "What is right?" or "What is wrong?" For the liberal, right and wrong are dismissed as unknowable, and every person chooses his or her own morality.
A good example of liberal narcissism is the liberal position on abortion. For the liberal, the worth of a human fetus, whether it is allowed to live or to be extinguished, is entirely based on the feelings of the mother. If the mother wants to give birth, the fetus is of incomparable worth; if the mother doesn't, the fetus has the value of a decayed tooth.
There are not many antidotes to this lethal combination of naivete and narcissism. Both are very comfortable states compared to growing up and confronting evil, and compared to making one's feelings subservient to a higher standard. And comfortable people don't like to be made uncomfortable.
Hence the liberal attempt to either erase the Judeo-Christian code or at least remove its influence from public life. Nothing could provide a better example of contemporary liberalism than the liberal battle to remove the Ten Commandments from all public places. Liberals want suggestions, not commandments

Jessie Jackson has added former Chicago democratic congressman Mel Reynolds to the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition's payroll. Reynolds was among the 176 criminals excused in President Clinton's last-minute forgiveness spree. Reynolds received a commutation of his six-and- a-half-year federal sentence for 15 convictions of wire fraud, bank fraud & lies to the Federal Election Commission. He is more notorious; however, for concurrently serving five years for sleeping with an underage campaign volunteer.

This is a first in American politics: An ex-congressman who had sex with a subordinate won clemency from a president who had sex with a subordinate, then was hired by a clergyman who had sex with a subordinate.

His new job? Youth counselor. Is this a great country or what?

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