Posted on 04/30/2005 6:19:34 AM PDT by holymoly
PLYMOUTH - A father who used a belt to spank his 12-year-old son over forgotten homework is facing a felony assault charge and an investigation by the state Department of Social Services.
Charles S. Enloe, 42, of 4 Cortelli Court, Plymouth, hit his son on the buttocks three times with a belt after the boy forgot his homework assignment at school, police said.
He was charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
Enloe said he was surprised at his arrest, but that he doesn't blame police for doing their job.
‘‘I never knew it would be considered assault with a deadly weapon,'' Enloe said. ‘‘And it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be a crime if it's discipline. I know there are parents out there that abuse their children, but I'm definitely not one of them. But police have to follow the letter of the law. My father was a police officer. I'm not angry at them, and I don't blame my son.''
Enloe said he hopes the courts will dismiss the charge after reviewing the facts. ‘‘I have no previous record,'' he said.
He said his son is still living with him despite the incident. He and the boy's mother are divorced, according to the police.
The mother obtained a restraining order against Enloe on her son's behalf, but the order was temporary and has expired, he said.
‘‘The incident got blown out of proportion,'' Enloe said.
Police Capt. Michael Botieri said officers have more leeway about arresting a parent for domestic violence when an open hand is used for spanking.
‘‘When a parent uses an instrument to discipline, it makes it more difficult for us,'' Botieri said. ‘‘The belt pushed this over the edge.''
The incident happened at about 5:30 p.m. Tuesday, and left no marks or bruises, according to police.
The Department of Social Services is investigating the complaint after its Cape Cod area office received a report of suspected abuse on Friday. DSS spokeswoman Denise Monteiro said the allegation was made by a person or agency required by law to report any suspected incident of child abuse. She would not identify the person.
Police, teachers, health care workers and clergy are all required to report cases of suspected abuse in Massachusetts.
Monteiro said the case is not considered an emergency and said the DSS has up to 10 days to investigate the report. Monteiro said the department usually interviews family members, the child's pediatrician, school officials, neighbors and others. ‘‘The allegations have to be met with evidence,'' she said.
The boy told police his father hit him with the belt for forgetting his homework, and said he would be hit six times wearing just his underwear if he forgot his homework again, police said.
Fearing the promised punishment, the boy called his mother Wednesday when he forgot his homework a second time, police said.
The boy and his mother, Diana Dematteo of Sandwich, reported the incident to police Wednesday.
Enloe told police he used the belt to ‘‘lightly'' strike the boy three times on the bottom for disciplinary reasons.
His son had improved academically since coming to live with him in March and he ‘‘acted out of love,'' the police report quotes Enloe as saying.
Enloe was arrested and charged at the station.
Enloe pleaded innocent Thursday to the charge and was released on his promise to return to court on June 1.
Monteiro, the DSS spokeswoman, said that under the Massachusetts corporal punishment law, it is not illegal for a guardian to strike a child physically or spank a child so long as the child isn't injured or ‘‘left with a bruise, bumps, cuts and you would also consider the frequency of the punishment.''
In 1997, the Rev. Donald Cobble of Woburn found himself thrust into the national spotlight when his then 9-year-old son, Judah, asked a teacher not to send a note home about his school behavior because he feared that Cobble would spank him with a belt, as he had done before.
The teacher contacted social service workers, who found that this form of discipline posed a ‘‘substantial risk of injury.'' But two years and $62,000 in legal fees later, Cobble's name was removed from the state registry of child abusers after the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court exonerated him, saying that Judah suffered only temporary marks as a result of the spanking. The case was closed.
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How far should a parent be able to go when disciplining a child?
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I had to take him to the emergency room and while we were waiting we watched the display of unruly children there. I thanked him for bringing me up the "right way". His comment was "When you were that age all it took was THE LOOK from either your mother or me and you instantly stopped whatever you were doing and look at how well you turned out".
it wasnt for me or my brother, but we were relatively well behaved children.
we would get into more trouble for doing stupid things than actual schemes or things that had thought in them. MY parents would think some of the stuff did was hilarious, assuming no one got hurt or anything....
DITTOS!
I don't think we disagree so much as in degree. I am not advocating treating a 12 year old as an adult. I am promoting that it's a great time to begin training them to be an adult, giving them more responsibility for their own choices, and letting them learn the consequences of their own bad decisions. They won't get it perfect, they won't do it exactly as you would, but they will learn. They're usually smarter than all those hormones would have us believe.
Twelve years old is old enough to have a say-so in what the repercussions should be if he fails in some set discipline. This engages his mind and will in his own well-being and takes away the misdirected wrath at the disciplinarian. It allows him opportunities (not completely, he's still a boy) to become his own master, a skill that few over-dominated, over-disciplined, micro-managed boys acquire.
At twelve years old a father should have already established a loving dominance and begun to train a young man instead of a boy.
I agree that they are not mini-adults and shouldn't be burdened with the world's woes and responsibilities. They should be prepared to meet them, however, when they are of age. That doesn't happen overnight, as many parents dream it will. It's a long process, and if one waits until they are 18 to begin it, it's too late.
I'm sorry, too, that my home situation was abnormal. I don't use it as a negative gauge, else I would become like so many psycobabblers who think that everything is emotional and sensitive. I don't think a good butt-whupping at the age of twelve can scar a kid for life... and I don't think abnormal home situations are all that abnormal, unfortunately.
Nor do I call into question your child-rearing. I am only using this one example to posit other strategies that I think could be engaged because I will state it again: every child is different, because every parent is different.
In the posted article, it just seemed too rigid. Plus, it shows he had no real knowledge yet of his recently custody-acquired son's heart, perception, or upbringing in his absence--because it did not bring the respect or discipline he intended, it only brought wrath or fear, and a desire to punish in return.
I have no overt desire to win a point in this discussion, however. I do like the process of thinking through and discussing with others the particulars of a scenario.
I'm afraid that my brother and I were"pushing the envelope"!We got our hides"tanned"from time to time!!
Yeah, says me. You wanna piece of this, mashmouth? Let's show the kids how a man backs up his mouth...
[insert fisticuffs here]
Now let's shake hands and get a beer. It's Saturday.
we did too, but that was generally before I was 12...
I was taller than my dad when I was 11, and he sat down with me and we had a chat. I guess he had a problem with attempting to spank someone who was bigger than he was. Not that he couldnt, but he wanted to see if I could handle it, and I think I did....
Times have indeed changed. I got the starp on a few occasions when I deserved it and if a cop had come to arrest my father for it, I would have assaulted the cop.
Mom had a habit of turning around suddenly, arms flailing. Usually caught me right at the base of the nose, and a nice bloody nose would ensue.
Of course, it beat a friend of mine. His mom used the paddles from the ball, rubber band & paddle setup. She had three that was glued together, and had three holes drilled in it. That thing woudl whistle every time. Man, that's a sound *I* won't forget.
Of course, my mom & dad had given permission to the friends moms & dads to spank us as needed, with the caveat that they had to report back when we went home. That means we'd get it at home, too. Oh yeah, THAT was something we looked forward to.
Yep, this guy will be villfied by the press while the welfare queen breeder in Florida suing the school over the handcuffed child in school will be held up as the Mother of the Year.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1394144/posts
The belt is not a deadly weapon. If more of his went on this generation would be better. People want to be so protective and we can all see the results, with the way some children are acting. Discipline is more important to children than most grownups realize. The time out thing and all the Dr. Spock stuff never worked. I will say this, I've grown past the belt that was always applied to the buttocks. With my grandkids I use push ups and I treat them like a Marine Gunnery Sergeant. It works well and we have a very good relationship with each other. They are told more than what punishment is. They are being taught to be responsible individuals and to act responsibly. The little ones know who cares about them and the ones who discipline them like myself are the ones who care. People need to start realizing this or the coming generations will be bigger and bigger problems. You can disagree with me and you will pay for not discipling in the end.
Yeah, twelve year-olds can be animals! That's part of their charm.
Fathers and sons may fight, dads may whup, thump chests and otherwise dominate their charges. It's all okay by me as long as they take them fishing or hunting on Saturdays so they can actually learn what's really important. And I guess that's where my insane dad gets a pass from me, he at least taught us to fish and to build a good charcoal fire.
Hey, I used to grab one of those when my four boys got out of hand. It was a good tool, and it stung just enough to make them stop what they were doing. And I wasn't a mean mother either, I just needed to let them know who was in charge. Otherwise they would've run all over me.
I remember I had to use it a couple of times on each pre school kid when he disobeyed me and ran across the street. I told him that if he got hit by a car, it was going to hurt a lot more than a couple of swats across the rear end. I did this to get my sons' attention. and it worked. Each one began to understand the consequences of his actions. I'm glad I'm not raising kids in this day and age. I guess I'm lucky, my kids are in their 40's and 50's now.
My dad used to use his razor strap if he felt we got out of hand. That worked good too. After a couple of licks of that we were better behaved. Funny thing in all this, I never once felt I was abused.
Welcome to FR. I can think of better examples of when cops have done stupid things. The officers in your example were probably cursing themselves for not calling in sick that day.
True, but at what point does repeated 'forgetfulness' become defiance?
I only ask because one of my daughters tried that "I forgot my homework at school" just ONE too many times!
LOL
Kids should be disciplined for disobedience or defiance, but not for irresponsability, but nonetheless the parent should not be charged with a crime.
LOL, same here. I'm still not sure if my Pop wouldn't of cracked me with a bat when I pounded my brother one day. Luckily he went with the belt.
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