Twelve years old is plenty old enough for a boy to learn the expectations involved in becoming a man...and men don't need spankings
What? I've got news for you bud, I don't know what kind of family you were brought up in but at 12 I was hell on wheels. Old enough that I figured spankings were a mere by-product of having "fun" and young enough to think responsibility was for the older members of my family. I had a blast! And my mother beat the hell out of me daily. I regret none of it. When the 'ol man laid into me I knew I had gone too far.
12 year olds are in limbo between being a toddler and a teenager. Don't take it away from them by expecting them to be adults.
I suggest you read Patrick McManus, the outdoor author and enthusiast to realize what life at 12 can be like. You will laugh your butt off. Especially if you were privileged enough to grow up in the great outdoors.
Yeah, twelve year-olds can be animals! That's part of their charm.
Fathers and sons may fight, dads may whup, thump chests and otherwise dominate their charges. It's all okay by me as long as they take them fishing or hunting on Saturdays so they can actually learn what's really important. And I guess that's where my insane dad gets a pass from me, he at least taught us to fish and to build a good charcoal fire.