Public School Is Too Strict; Socialization Muted

The Lakeland Ledger ^ | Thursday, April 14, 2005 | Letter to editor

[Sam's Army]

Public School Is Too Strict; Socialization Muted

My home-schooled granddaughter and I went to have lunch with my public schooled granddaughter at her school recently. She wanted us to come have lunch with her. It cost $2.50 for me and $1.50 for granddaughter.

It sure wasn't like when we went to school. None of the kids were allowed to talk at all to each other during their lunch hour.

After they finished eating, they had to read a book that they brought with them.

There were monitors with eyes roving to and fro. If they order milk, they are forced to drink it all. It seemed to me more like I was in a prison cafeteria.

They had to get in no-talking lines to arrive and to leave, all in the same uniforms, and no talking of course, even in the rest rooms.

If they talk in lines, they have to go to the principal's office.

I sure didn't see much socialization going on there.

My home-schooled granddaughter and I were glad to get out of there, and step back into freedom.

FRAN GRINER

Lakeland

[Gabz]

Again the real issue is parental involvement.

That says it all.

Before she started school my husband and I took our daughter with us everywhere....and she is now equally comfortable with adults and children.

A woman I am friendly with, who home schools, was very surprised to find out I wasn't, based upon my daughter's interaction with her and her daughter who is older.

[ConservativeDude]

Alles muss in Ordnung sein!

[NZerFromHK]

When I look back at the primary education I got, although my initial reaction was repulsion and hatred to such styles of education, in later years I started to appreciate the basics you have gained. It was similar to a bitter pill - my grasp of complex mathematics was grounded in my training in quick and accurate arithmatics at primary level.

I always think homeschooling parents are not as stern to their children as many of these teachers in HK. Or parents - if you know any Asian friend you will understand their Dad and Mum would nag them that they got 95% instead of 100% in tests. ("Tom, where are the rest 5% marks?")

[bobsatwork]

Can't speak about public schools in Lakeland, but here in Delaware: Uniforms? No. Talking during lunch? Yes. Socialization? Yes. Learning stuff? No. Delaware also has a large number of excellent private schools, all with waiting lists.

[Gabz]

Learning stuff? No.

And that is one of the main reasons we left Delaware!

Delaware also has a large number of excellent private schools, all with waiting lists.

Unfortunately the vast majority of the better ones are in NCC, and I did not want to live there.

[Diva Betsy Ross]

Oh boy- Self control is a tough lesson to learn and equally hard to teach! We are working on it over here! KIDS!!! UGH!

[Diva Betsy Ross]

We love homeschooling. It has been a good choice for our family. I advocate choice. So, while I recommend homeschooling, I also want to be mindful that parents know their own children best, and that we should have all types of choices for them available to us as parents.

Good luck!

[Gabz]

LOL!!!!!!!!!

I agree with you - but we wouldn't change having them, would we?

Mine is home sick today with a tummy bug and is blissfully sleeping right now, thankfully.

[ConservativeDude]

I think we are close to being on the same page.

As a taxpayer, I would like to see the schools say that they are going to teach fundamental education. I would like for them to say that "school time is not time for socialization". I think they should be serious and intense. And then let the kids go home. They should not be there for 9 hours.

Then, I would like to see the NEA stop bashing homeschoolers for getting an incomplete education b/c the kids are not socialized properly.

I think if that happened, then we could all really get along nicely...I like your attitude it is a huge step in the right direction. And any child who goes with parents to interact with adults on a regular basis will turn out just fine in the social skills department. That is key.

[Gabz]

Then, I would like to see the NEA stop bashing homeschoolers for getting an incomplete education b/c the kids are not socialized properly.

Here, here.

[ladylib]

Many public schools have silent lunch policies today. Some won't even let kids talk on the bus. It's done for the convenience of the staff.

[Diva Betsy Ross]

Interesting- we are learning Chinese. That is my son's choice. He is almost seven. He loves it. I believe that Chinese is a very logical language, and since he is very logical by nature, Chinese really appeals to him.

I have always encouraged him to be creative and explore the world. But don't think for a moment that I am not strict with him. I am an unschooler, so we learn as we go and learn from the world.... And he knows there will be heck to pay if he breaks the rules of our family. Most homeschool children I know are the same way.

Oh sure he tries to break them on occasion-because he is a child.

I am Anti-grade as well. I don't like to give out grades. But guess what? My son needs them and is internally motivated to push his grade higher. I waited until he asked for grades-then I gave them to him.

Sometimes, what you may be seeing is a homeschool parent waiting until the child has internal motivation to achieve, grow and learn.

With many of the homeschool parents whom I know, that is the case.

[ladylib]

A district in my state tried it. Some parents went to the press, said their kids were unhappy and probably would not be returning the next year, and that was the end of that little experiment.

[ChildOfThe60s]

Seeing as how I live here in Lakeland and have seen first hand what is described here, let me enlighten you folks out there. It's worse than described here. Considerably.

Because of this we homeschooled. Our daughter did go to 1 year of middle school and 3 years of HS (she graduated 2 years early with full scholarship to private college-na na na na to the NEA).

The so called socialization is sickening. It is regimentation [at the elementary level] to a degree that would offend a DI. I could write pages listing the scary policies and specific incidents that I saw first hand.

As far as homeschoolers getting socialized? Well, I think my daughter is very well socialized [major grin here].

[ladylib]

Well, obviously the parents are happy with it because they send their kids there.

[ChildOfThe60s]

Actually, that's not the case.

1-The majority are simply ignorant of what is going on. For example, most have no idea that there hasn't been recess in many years. And they simply can't believe that some of what is occurring is actually happening.

2-We have a fairly large HS population in Polk County. Not a dent in the total number of school age kids, of course.

3-There are not a lot of alternatives for most people [here - or anywhere, for that matter]. Cost aside, the waiting lists here to get your kid into any kind of private school are very long.

4-Many that would like to HS can't afford the financial sacrifices required. Single income families in the middle and working class are very difficult. It was certainly hard on us.

5-I personally have met plenty that are NOT happy, but can accommodate no practical alternative for a variety of reasons, including those above. Remember, you pay school property taxes whether you have children in school or not.

[Sam's Army]

Well done. Congrats to you.

[HowardDeanScream08]

I never said it was a hopeless cause to change things. I just said it was pretty pointless to run to the school board. School boards have a tendency to ostrich their way through difficulty, and so going to them is usually not something to consider until you have some social momentum.

I was merely commenting on the all-too-often uselessness of school boards. They are particularly and staunchly useless when run by a Democrat majority. For an example, take a look at the schools in Charlotte, NC.

And to the other poster who said the school looks to be doing things the right way... Wrong. I am from a family of teachers. I myself am a fourth generation teacher, albeit that I am a "career" substitute. My mother and my paternal grandmother both taught in pubvlic schools for a total span of 50 years. My grandmother taught from 1941 to 1981, and my mother from 1970 to 1992. *Both* of them find the overregulation and micromanagement from the feds and often the states' departments of education to be mind-boggling.

Order was maintained very, very differently not that long ago. It used to be that administrators and teacher *in* the schools used to manage their *own* problems most of the time, only going up to the district level when something got *really* bad. My mom and grandmother both peg the late 1970s for when the problem began, with the advent of Jimmy Carter's new Department of Education and the dismantling of local authority in education.

And if the schools seem to be handling things the right way in so many cases, why are the incidents, now up to including gross physical violence up to murder, on the rise in schools. That *never* used to be the case. Something's not right with the status quo, and part of it, to my experienced mind, is that children are no longer allowed to be children at school. They are expected to be little adults, and *THAT* is wrong.

[HowardDeanScream08]

I didn't miss that point. I just didn't write on it. Your observation is right on the money. I see it first-hand.

[ChildOfThe60s]

Thank you! We think of her as WGK (world's greatest kid).

These are my favorite pics to show libs.