Posted on 04/11/2005 7:30:08 PM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross
"Enjoy a joke"
What Dogs Wonder About
Dear God; Why do humans smell the flowers, but not one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God; When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? or is it the same old story?
Dear God; Why are cars named for eagles, cougars, horses and rabbits but not dogs? How often do you see an eagle riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God; If a dog barks in the forest and no human hears her, is she still a bad dog?
Dear God; Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.
Dear God; Are there mailmen in heaven? If so, will I have to apologize?
Dear God; We dogs can understand human verbal instruction, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scents, electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand??
President Bush and the Pope John Paul II were in a rowboat fishing in a pond at the President's ranch when a gust of wind blows the Pontiff's hat into the water where it started to sink.
Without a moment's hesitation, President Bush jumped into the pond and, to the Pope's amazement, walked across the water, retrieved the hat and walked back to the boat.
The next day the New York Times ran the following headline:
George Bush Can't Swim
No one is above suspicion!
Another fave:
"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city.
The farmer: "The reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."
You don't by any chance read "Pirate Coast" magazine, do you?
Mom would make hamburger gravy when we were kids. For gravy bread or for over mashed potatoes. (I didn't like it then, but it sounds good now. Of course, I'm hungry now, so that makes a difference.) ;)
I've had hamburger in veggie soup before. That type of soup? Or a cream soup?
Send him over here. He can join us as we harrass the Wally World in our neck of the woods. LOL!
It's sure tempting to try some of these out, I have to say. *snicker*
For US troops:
The Jewish Valentine
"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," Melissa asks, "will G-d get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"
Melissa's father says "No, I don't think G-d would get mad.
Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," she says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock.
"Well," she says, I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the @#*@ out of him."
Thanks for the awesome pictures of our Troops, Kathy!
Whew! Don'cha know the troops will remember this visit the rest of their lives? What an honor and thrill it must have been for them to meet these gentlemen!
And what a wonderful thing those heroes did, visiting our troops so far from home. Talk about a boost for morale!
Thanks for posting this, Kathy!
"I've had hamburger in veggie soup before"
That's the one, very little veggies, all beef! LOL
Does the cook wanna buy a burka???
Hi, y'all!
Nope...what's that? If it's TV, lol...I have one. I just seldom watch it.
Nope...grin. I don't know a lot of things when it comes to TV.
Howdy Kathy in Alaska! Nice graphic!
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