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Freeper Canteen: Tell me your favorite joke! Come join us. April 12,2005
Canteen funny guys
Posted on 04/11/2005 7:30:08 PM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross
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To: AZamericonnie; All
WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1-800-"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
8. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
9. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
321
posted on
04/12/2005 5:26:25 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
("Resistance is futile, but I may be placated with chocolates")
To: Arrowhead1952
There were two blondes walking down the street and they spotted a compact. They rushed over to see who it belonged to so they could return it.
The first one opens it and says, "This person looks familiar"
The second one says, "Let me see."
She looks at her friend and says, "Silly, that's me!"
322
posted on
04/12/2005 5:27:12 AM PDT
by
tomkow6
(...................hot DOG!........)
To: Arrowhead1952
(*snicker*) Good morning Arrowhead!
To: tomkow6
A drunk stumbles upon a baptism service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stands next to the preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Welcome, brother. Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says, "Well, why not. Sure I am."
The minister dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?"
"No, I haven't!" answers the drunk.
The preacher then dunks him under a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"No, I did not, Reverend." The preacher, in disgust, holds the drunk under for at least 30 seconds this time.
He brings the man out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My God man, have you found Jesus yet?"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
324
posted on
04/12/2005 5:28:52 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
("Resistance is futile, but I may be placated with chocolates")
To: Diva Betsy Ross
Good morning Diva Betsy. HUGS
325
posted on
04/12/2005 5:29:14 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
("Resistance is futile, but I may be placated with chocolates")
To: NRA1995; GodBlessUSA; beachn4fun
Hi Kids! Hope you all have a great day!
To: NRA1995
327
posted on
04/12/2005 5:29:48 AM PDT
by
cedarswingman
(One man with courage makes a majority)
To: Arrowhead1952
328
posted on
04/12/2005 5:29:54 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
("Resistance is futile, but I may be placated with chocolates")
To: Diva Betsy Ross
You know when you get my age, you really LOVE people who call you KID! LOL
329
posted on
04/12/2005 5:30:40 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
("Resistance is futile, but I may be placated with chocolates")
To: NRA1995
Good morning NRA. Are you gonna share any of the jokes you found?
330
posted on
04/12/2005 5:31:37 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
("Resistance is futile, but I may be placated with chocolates")
To: StoneGiant
Hi SG! Welcome to the Canteen! Thanks for the Squirrel story!
To: beachn4fun
Top of the Morning BEACHN
332
posted on
04/12/2005 5:32:17 AM PDT
by
cedarswingman
(One man with courage makes a majority)
To: Diva Betsy Ross
Did you hear about the blond who never learned to waterski?
He couldn't find a lake with a slope.
333
posted on
04/12/2005 5:32:19 AM PDT
by
tomkow6
(...................hot DOG!........)
To: E.G.C.
(((HUGS))) Good morning EG. HAPPY PRE-BIRTHDAY
334
posted on
04/12/2005 5:32:50 AM PDT
by
beachn4fun
("Resistance is futile, but I may be placated with chocolates")
To: beachn4fun
Hehee! Always a kid a heart!
To: Diva Betsy Ross; beachn4fun
Back @ both of you. Trying to re-coop after my weekend trip to see the daughter at college.
336
posted on
04/12/2005 5:33:32 AM PDT
by
Arrowhead1952
(TV News and the MSM - - - ROTFLMAO)
To: beachn4fun
I missed being here. Great joke. LOL
337
posted on
04/12/2005 5:33:56 AM PDT
by
cedarswingman
(One man with courage makes a majority)
To: tomkow6
To: Arrowhead1952
OOHH! Did she keep you on the run? I hope you had a good visit! Kids are the best!
To: Arrowhead1952
LOL! :)
Good Morning Arrowhead! How are you?
340
posted on
04/12/2005 5:35:09 AM PDT
by
GodBlessUSA
(US Troops, past, present and future, God Bless You and Thank You! Prayers said for our Heroes!)
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