Relative morality in the Land of 1001 Excuses.
Speeding tickets...a means of generating local revenue, IMO.
I don't make excuses. The last time I got a speeding ticket I told the cop I was glad he didn't catch me about a mile back.
Newman: Okay, you're all set? You got your story?
Kramer: No.
Newman: When the cop stopped me, I told him that I was rushing home because my friend was about to commit suicide.
Kramer: Uhm...
Newman: Now, you're that firend. Now, all we need is a reason why you were going to commit suicide.
[Pause; they're thinking]
Kramer: I never had an air conditioner.
Newman: No! That's no reason to kill yourself!
Kramer: Why? It gets hot at night, you can't sleep. You ever tried to sleep in a really hot room?
Newman: Every night I sleep in a really hot room, I don't want to kill myself.
Kramer: Well, I slept in really hot rooms and I wanted to kill myself.
Newman: No, no, no. That's not gonna work. Something else.
Kramer: I was never able to become a banker.
[Newman has a revelation.]
Newman: Banker! So you're killing yourself because your dreams of becoming a banker have gone unfulfilled. You-you-you-you can't live without being a banker.
Kramer: Yeah, yeah. If I can't be banker, I don't wanna live.
Newman: You must be banker.
Kramer: MUST be banker.
Newman (satisfied): Okay, we'll go with the banker story.
"Mind if I have a look inside your car and check to see if your child seat is tight?" = Request for consent to search entire vehicle for drugs, weapons, etc.
Cops lie to citizens all the time. It's only fair citizens return the favor.
I was asked every time if I knew how fast I was going. In all three cases I didn't know. And I told the LEOs that. I told them I wasn't paying attention and added the line: "I guess if your gonna play you have to pay". All resorted in warnings!
My tail lights blew out in front of the cop.
He pulls me over, and asks if I knew why he did so.
I said, "Not a clue."
He tells me my tail lights are out.
I'd just checked them before driving, so I didn't believe him.
So I asked if he minded me checking them.
Surprised, he said "okay."
I get out and look.
Sure enough, not just one light, but all of them are out.
So I pop the hatchbakc, which slams down on my head as usual while I am inside, and start wiggling connections.
By now, the poor cop is chuckling outrigt as to his point of view, my car is devouring me.
I got three lights working agin, things in the trunk had knocked on the back of the light assembly and took out the lights, and the poor cop then tells me that he'd seen them blow out.
"I figured you didn't know about it." was his statement.
I was listening to Garrison Keillor's Prarie Home Companion while driving through a school zone.
It was their annual joke show and Paula Poundstone told a knock-knock joke that reduced me to tears.
I stopped laughing pretty quick when I saw the blue lights in the rear view mirror.
I told the officer all this, he looked at the speedometer gage to confirm the first fact and radioed the first cruiser to confirm the second fact (that the other car had been driving too slow.)
He then handed my license back and said, "Have a nice day."
Talking your way out of a radar ticket cannot be a common occurrence.
I tell them I'm on the way to Washington to help President Bush design a proper reception for the Argellian space aliens due here on Thursday, and if I don't get out of this ticket, they will blow up the planet Earth.
"I put (the excuses) into the top of the funnel..."
An engineer friend told me of a guy he knew in school who got bagged for doing 90 in a 70 zone (freeway). He had a funnel taped to a hose outside the car window and the hose lead into the car and into a fish tank with fish. He told the cop he had calculated (engineering student) that he needed to go at least 87mph to induce air to flow from the funnel through the hose and into a diffuser in the tank. While he thought it creative, the cop still issued the ticket...
And just how many cops are in this county? How many drivers?
That is almost 129 tickets per day.
I am a habitual speeder but the only time I've ever gotten a ticket was when I wasn't speeding. I just merged on I-20 south of Dallas when 4 cars flew past me, one similar to my car at the time, a 3000GT. About a mile down the road a local cop pulls me over for doing 74 in a 55 (people in the Dallas area can attest to the pain in the ass areas of I-20 where the speed limit drops from 70 to 55 with no warning..)
Needless to say, when the cop mentioned I was speeding with a group of cars and I 'must have slowed down' when I saw him, I didn't even argue. I just took the ticket and did defensive driving....
(the really sad part is I was doing almost 100 on the way to Dallas earlier that day and didn't see a single cop)..
Every other time (many many many times..) I've been able to get out of a ticket by just saying "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't even realize it until I looked up and saw you.. you are right I was going over..."
They always just say be careful and have a nice day...
Okay....I had to get input from my traffic cop son on this...He says there's no particular type of vehicle he pulls over; just whoever comes up on his radar gun. I asked him about pulling over good looking women, as my daughter seems to get her share of tickets. He said, nope, it's illegal....That's my boy...
He said the most common excuse is "late for Dr's. appt."
The best one he's heard personally was a woman that made an illegal u-turn....said she had to hurry and get home and pump her breasts; they were "about ready to explode." I guess he believed her, didn't examine her......
This is the kid that when 4 mons. old, I nursed while driving, so he gave her a break. LOL
Officer: "Where's the fire?"
I told him, opened the trunk, and showed him my turnout gear. No ticket.
Therefore, it is all about revenue generation. Whenever a town or municipality is inclined to (which is often), they can post their cops to speed traps and write tickets at will.
It's unfair but unfortunately it will never change because too many nannies think that these speed limits are for "public safety."
I've only gotten one speeding ticket in my life. I'd like to say that it's because I'm a silver tongued devil, but it's more accurate to say it's because I'm boring.
The one I did get, I supposed I deserved. I'd just come off a six-month tour in Western Ontario where the speed limit was set by the rear bumper on the car in front of you of your common sense on open roads. I had developed quite a lead foot. Back home, I picked up speed down a hill to about 45 mph just as the speed limit went from 35 to 25, classic speed trap country.
As the female officer approached I recognized her as the sister of my next door neighbor. Effecting my best Cockney accent I said, "You got me copper, it's a clean nim." Maybe, I should have asked about her nephew.
Was discussing traffic citations with a friend yesterday. He said once his wife was pulled over for speeding. She told the officer bluntly that she was late for something and did "not have time for this." She then drove off, leaving the officer standing there. He did not pursue. Being acquainted with this guys' wife I can understand why the officer would just as soon let it go.
Anyone driving in such a manner that warrants being stopped warrants being arrested. Everything else is a shakedown and state sponsored highway robbery. Traffic cops are tax collectors and nothing else. When the mafia does it, it's extortion, when the cops do it for the insurance companies, it's traffic enforcement.