Newman: Okay, you're all set? You got your story?
Kramer: No.
Newman: When the cop stopped me, I told him that I was rushing home because my friend was about to commit suicide.
Kramer: Uhm...
Newman: Now, you're that firend. Now, all we need is a reason why you were going to commit suicide.
[Pause; they're thinking]
Kramer: I never had an air conditioner.
Newman: No! That's no reason to kill yourself!
Kramer: Why? It gets hot at night, you can't sleep. You ever tried to sleep in a really hot room?
Newman: Every night I sleep in a really hot room, I don't want to kill myself.
Kramer: Well, I slept in really hot rooms and I wanted to kill myself.
Newman: No, no, no. That's not gonna work. Something else.
Kramer: I was never able to become a banker.
[Newman has a revelation.]
Newman: Banker! So you're killing yourself because your dreams of becoming a banker have gone unfulfilled. You-you-you-you can't live without being a banker.
Kramer: Yeah, yeah. If I can't be banker, I don't wanna live.
Newman: You must be banker.
Kramer: MUST be banker.
Newman (satisfied): Okay, we'll go with the banker story.
For a list of several hundred excuses that actually work I recommend, "The Speeders Guide to Avoiding Tickets." It was written by a former NY State Trooper and has worked for me many times. My favorite is to call up the barracks where you usually drive and get the name of the commanding officer. Then when you get stopped you tell him that commander __________ is a personal friend and would he please just call him and get things straightened out. Now the trooper is in a real bind. He can't very well call his CO and ask if he knows you because if he doesn't he'll look like a jerk. On the other hand if he gives you the ticket and you really do know the CO he could be in real trouble. Most times he will err on the side of caution and let you go.
Another one that works for me. I once met a trooper in a bar. We hit it off and he gave me his card. Now when I get stopped, I tell the trooper/officer that I am an attorney represent many cops on disability and comp claims. This makes me one of the good guys now and this technique has worked numerous times.
I am a habitual speeder and these techniques work 90 percent of the time.