Posted on 04/03/2005 5:10:42 PM PDT by genefromjersey
DUBYA FAILS WHALES !!
A Guide to "Progressive"¨ Posting
If you are politically progressive ,and you " want to make a difference " by posting online, there are certain ground rules worth consideration - (not that you are a person bound by mere rules , and not that there is anything wrong with following the collective wisdom of others !)
First you need a working premise : preferably one that can be alluded to; or otherwise brought up-via published news reports. The premise need not be true , or even demonstrable. It merely needs to be arguable.
Let's use this premise : The President of the United States has failed in his Constitutional (and/or Moral) duty to ensure the badly-needed reproduction of Beluga Whales.
Good one, right ? To introduce the premise, we need a good lead-off paragraph.
The Nation's flags flew at half mast today : ostensibly in honor of the late Pope , John Paul 3rd ,whose controversial and iron-fisted rule finally ended in death. Many believe this intrusion of religious fanaticism into the relationship between Church and State was an attempt by President Bush (Dubya to us !) to impose theocratic rule upon the long-suffering American people.
At this point ,even the most progressive reader may begin to wonder when we are going to get to the whales, so it's time to introduce a link to a bit of verifiable published news. There is something in the Washington Post about the artificial insemination of a Beluga Whale by scientists, so let's use that...after a fashion.
Even as a deeply divided nation groaned under the burdens of theocratic intrusion ,an unjust war ,shame over the Abu Ghraib torture disclosures , and growing uneasiness with our future, brave scientists at Mystic Sea World struggled to effect the artificial insemination of Kela : a 24 year old Beluga Whale , in an effort to save this species ; which has been ravaged by global warming, and the Administration's cavalier disregard of the Kyoto Treaty. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A19759-2005Apr1.html
The alert reader,pursuing this link,will discover this is an article about the artificial insemination of a Beluga Whale - for the convenience of Sea World,and/or the scientists studying reproduction in Belugas. There is absolutely no reference to global warming, the Kyoto Treaty , etc., but who cares ??
I see you are beginning to get the idea, so here are a few more tips:
Use plenty of links. Opinion sites are the best.
Use plenty of words : enough to make the reader glassy-eyed. Glassy-eyed readers are more apt to "take your word " for it. ( Little pun there !)
Use the old sales trick of anticipating objections: What is the (rare) critical reader apt to ask,and how do you plan to answer ? (Make your answers up ahead of time , don't forget to use lots of words, and you can "cut and paste" for quick responses. Insults can be quite effective here.)
If you run into really tough objections , just ignore them . The objector will eventually go away.
How progressive of you, gene!
This reads like an April Fools joke...but it probably isn't.
bump
In light of your brilliant "opus", I thought you might be interested and able to add some pointers regarding posting like a DUmmie.
I hate it when the greens keep harping about seagoing mammals. They say that wailing should be outlawed, but they themselves keep on blubbering.
I'll confess to borrowing some of the crap I've seen today on other sites-especially the "theocracy" stuff !
Kill the whales, feed the poor. Include all other animals such as deer, geese, spotted owls etc...
that graphhic - ROFLMAO!
Needs work, shows promise, but I'm not vengeful.
I really have to object.
A well balanced diet should also include some vegetables, like corn-on-the-cob, sweet potatoes, and garden fresh peas, if you got them.
A nice salad with thousand island dressing, a peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream for dessert, and there you go.
Stop calling them 'progressive' there is nothing progressive about them. It's like feeding a stray or treating with terrorists as statesmen. They'll keep thinking it's true.
They're 'divergents' they are moving forward on their own path, but it has nothing to do with what the majority of Americans think or want for our country.
FMCDH(BITS)
That's good stuff, gene. Now, if you could make those paragraphs a little more vitriolic, you'll have tapped into the average progressive/DUer today.
For example: Instead of religious fanatcism, you might say religious fascists or religious, bible-thumping fascists.
Overall, it's good. I like the way you wove their weak attempts to slam Bush into the paragraphs. Great job.
I knew you'd be of great service. :)
Work on this one;
How many naked Moonbats
drunk on a French Merlot
eating hot chicken wings,
would it take to produce the Democrat Party platform.?
I can't git past ONE(1).. must be doing something wrong..
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