Posted on 04/02/2005 4:36:04 AM PST by gobucks
"Don't you dare guilt your wife into having a natural childbirth!", I am told by a nice woman I know at church. I have known this lady for some time, and we have never talked politics. Suddenly, my wife is hot political topic #1. And though the politics are 'under the radar', my wife is clearly a target in the ongoing cultural war.
Until my wife started to dramatically enlarge during this last trimester, comments like these had been few. Now, it is a torrent. "What hospital? What OB? You are getting an epidural, right? What brand of formula do you plan to use (as if we will collapse immediately into the arms of the Enfamil salesman)? You are not going to breast feed too long, are you? Are you on a waiting list yet for infant day care?"
My wife and I, married over 10 years with all kinds of issues associated with getting pregnant are about to be parents of a boy in a few weeks. We are of course, thrilled and overjoyed.
But the political overtones of how we bring him into the world are just unreal. The unending stream of opinion and advice about it, with over 95 percent of it being something like this: "don't be stupid. Get the epidural." We have yet to have a single woman report to us that having her baby in a fully undrugged state was a good idea.
Why is labor today so terrifying for women? Why is it that husbands are being taught that encouraging a woman to experience a full unmedicated delivery is akin to treating her like a barbarian? Heck, I've told my wife I am not the one having the baby, and thus, I'm not about to dictate to her how it should be done; I simply said I like the idea of natural childbirth and that is it. Why is this so politically incorrect? Why are hordes of women pouring out of the woodwork yelling at us to make sure she gets the drugs, the epidural?
What the heck is going on such that bringing a child into the world has to be so .... upsetting?
And these are women at my church! I can just imagine what a hapless secular woman in some lonely cul-de-sac must endure.
I'm a typical Chistian man with a very pregnant wife. I have an atypical enthusiasm for most things associated with FreeRepublic. I'm looking for reports from any of you husbands (or their wives) out there have experienced the kind of unreal cultural pressure my wife and I have undergone as this last trimester winds down.
I have googled around, looking for articles about this - and it is just about nada. Mostly stuff on teen pregnancy and abortion. Zilch regarding ordinary married folks who are being pressured to have a 'modern' birth experience.
I'm I the only one who is seeing how a pregnant woman is somehow a political lightning rod these days?
ouch .... I don't think I'm going to share this tidbit w/ Mrs. Gb ... she has an overactive imagination.....
thanks mb ..... and you are right ... too few husbands are sacrificial in intent as they husband in the verb sense (and I, mrs gb can attest, am quite bad in that dept...).
Look for my ping in June.
Well, what a calibration post LV ... and my thanks to you!
Will do ... and thanks....
Thanks ns ...
Thank you Mrs. Wardaddy ...
I'm PROUD of my wife's decision (HER decision) to go drug-free on the birth. And I don't hesitate to tell people (she doesn't like to brag so I do it for her.) Baby #1 was 9 1/2 lbs, but the delivery was very fast. #2 is due in Sept -- that one might just happen at home.
I will ... but I sense that out of all the folks who pinged me, somehow I didn't give you the warm fuzzy a few others experienced. (Now the pattern has always been the same for me ... I tend to rub first borns the wrong way, so this may be a factor).
All I can say is I'm definitely old fashioned, who thinks that those fashions should be current again, and stay that way. The last thing I was attempting was to make any Freeper feel like they were less than 'ideal' b/c they used pain meds. All I knew was that the pressure, bona fide pressure, to NOT go natural was very very real, and I wanted Freeper feedback. This thread has been astounding to me, for it revealed that the circles I live in must not be very much like the freeper cirles I communicate in ... it has been neat.
ping
"Dr. William Sears" ... I will mention the author to mrs gb ... and in my june ping I'll list the books we found most valuable ... and thanks again.
Many thanks on the titles .. . I'll mention them to mrs gb. As for la leche, she has recently attended and reports that the experience was wonderful (although some granola types were there in force, they were nice). I'll ping the june update to you.
Many thanks for all the advice! I'll ping you in June w/ the update ... and be flexible
... And I will provide the June update I promise... and thank you for the title ... will mention it to mrs gb who has a small library...
I definitely will speak to mrs gb about this book .... evidently it is a book folks love or hate...I'll ping you in June w/ an update.
I saw a news report on her ... unreal, and thanks.
thanks for the report , and I'll ping you in June ...
I will indeed ... ping you in June and thanks.
I signed paperwork that indicated my wish for an epidural when our son was born. My neighbor at the time was a mom of 7 and had experienced childbirth both with, and without, medication. She said an epidural was absolutley the best way to go. She actually enjoyed childbirth with the epidural.
My OBGYN had other ideas however. She said I would give birth within a couple of hours and my dilation was so advanced I didn't need pain meds.
HAH! Our darling son was sunny-side up and stuck in the birth canal. Together we suffered many long hours of labor. The pain is agonizing, the worst I've ever felt in my life, just awful. They finally had to pull him out with a suction device.
There is no virtue in "natural" birth. As a woman, I'd like to tell any guy that advocates no drugs to stick a sock in it, big time.
I also found out after my OBGYN's shift ended and she had left, that she is a lesbian. The nurse that told me this was clearly upset at this doctor's routine. As she said, Dr. X has never personally experienced childbirth and never will. Thus her misunderstanding the need for pain meds.
Needless to say, I never went back to that doctor.
"please eliminate the need for co-ed baby showers."
Auntie ... I agree. If some dude out there feels left out of a baby shower, well .... something is wrong. He needs to dial up sports center or something and just sit still and take it. This is what happens when HSN and the Cooking Channel take off ..... :) I'll ping you in June...
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