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My Pregnant Wife: An Unexpected Target in the Culture Wars
Vanity ^ | 2 Apr 05 | gobucks

Posted on 04/02/2005 4:36:04 AM PST by gobucks

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To: lnbchip
A couple we lived near a few years ago adopted I believe 4 bi-racial children from crisis situations. They are an amazing couple. It's so nice to see somebody extending the beautiful love of a family to those who may not have ever had a chance without adoption.

Only one of ours is adopted. I really admire the people who adopt more than once, and do such a good job parenting. I fail every day, and pray a lot.

401 posted on 04/02/2005 7:37:39 PM PST by Tuscaloosa Goldfinch (Thank goodness "Terayza" is not first lady.)
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To: muir_redwoods; gobucks

This would seem to be a polite way of getting the idea across. Busybodies and gossips are part of life; so are fireants and kudzu; don't let them get you down.

It's your wife's business; you are backing her; the doctors don't think there's anything wrong; what's the problem?


402 posted on 04/02/2005 7:57:00 PM PST by Doctor Stochastic (Vegetabilisch = chaotisch is der Charakter der Modernen. - Friedrich Schlegel)
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To: tang-soo

My wife thinks a doula might be a good idea ... given that when she has the flu, I get kinda of worried. I'm thinking about asking one out to a lunch at the least.


403 posted on 04/02/2005 7:59:03 PM PST by gobucks (http://oncampus.richmond.edu/academics/classics/students/Ribeiro/laocoon.htm)
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To: getmeouttaPalmBeachCounty_FL
Now, here's my best advice...make sure you buy yourself a Baby Bjorn, and wear your baby as much as possible in public. Less people will then have access to touching your baby during that nanosecond when you aren't looking.

My wife did get one of these .... and I never would have thought about the 'not looking' idea until this post; what a concept, but given how crazy our world is today, I guess this is something to consider...thanks.

404 posted on 04/02/2005 8:04:17 PM PST by gobucks (http://oncampus.richmond.edu/academics/classics/students/Ribeiro/laocoon.htm)
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To: gobucks

"But why is it that nearly all women, and their husbands, are being taught that labor pain MUST be drugged away?"

Your wife will find out soon enough. When my contractions first began, they were mild (sort of like cramps from a period). I thought to myself that the women who used drugs for labor were wimps....boy was I wrong. One of my doctors actually called me weak for not being able to take the pain. He flatly told me not to ask for drugs until I was 6 cm along. Well thank god for nurses because it was the nurse who spoke up for me. I'll never forget her understanding and kindness and that great shot of stadol. It allowed me to sleep through the contractions for at least an hour.

Needless to say....after twenty hours of labor, I was just not dialating and another doctor from that group took the bull by the horns and basically dismissed my previous doctor and wheeled me into the operating room to have a c section. That was thirteen years ago but the memory of that pain will stick with me for the rest of my life.

Just be supportive of your wife during labor....no matter what she chooses.


405 posted on 04/02/2005 8:09:52 PM PST by Arpege92 ("I am happy, be it yourselves." - Pope John Paul II)
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To: LoudRepublicangirl

"I did not have any medications or epidural. It just wasn't an option."

Kudos to you for choosing a drug free delivery, but please don't judge those who chose differently.


406 posted on 04/02/2005 8:15:23 PM PST by Arpege92 ("I am happy, be it yourselves." - Pope John Paul II)
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To: Tax-chick

OMG what a precious little baby.


407 posted on 04/02/2005 8:21:18 PM PST by Arpege92 ("I am happy, be it yourselves." - Pope John Paul II)
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To: Caipirabob

Wow...a man finally get's it. Your wife is lucky to have you and thanks for allowing me to feel okay about my choice to use pain killers.


408 posted on 04/02/2005 8:23:49 PM PST by Arpege92 ("I am happy, be it yourselves." - Pope John Paul II)
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To: Alouette

Congratulations! My wife and I briefly discussed home birth, but we don't think we're going to do it. Frankly, I would see that as risking too much.


409 posted on 04/02/2005 8:23:52 PM PST by gobucks (http://oncampus.richmond.edu/academics/classics/students/Ribeiro/laocoon.htm)
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To: Doctor Stochastic
so are fireants and kudzu; don't let them get you down.

LOL! What a great metaphor....

410 posted on 04/02/2005 8:27:02 PM PST by gobucks (http://oncampus.richmond.edu/academics/classics/students/Ribeiro/laocoon.htm)
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To: gobucks

Home birth is not for everyone. My oldest daughter could cross the prairies in a covered wagon and live in a log cabin!

My other daughter chose an epidural when she delivered her first baby.

I like it that today there are different alternatives and choices for birthing and the mother gets to choose what is best for her.


411 posted on 04/02/2005 8:38:57 PM PST by Alouette (Learned Mother of Zion)
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To: HitmanNY

What did Savage say?


412 posted on 04/02/2005 9:06:34 PM PST by beaversmom
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To: gobucks
Pain, eh? Why worry about the pain NOW??? Wait till the 'real deal' is happening and let your wife decide if she needs the pain relievers. If you commit to epidurals/spinals BEFORE the birth, I think you're locked into HAVING them. But if you tell your OB you want to wait to see how it goes, you STILL have the option to accept/decline the drugs.

I've had 7. #1 was a C-section. They gave me the spinal/drugs. I felt everything/every cut/slice/dice. They told me I didn't know what I was talking about. THEN, when I got to the recovery room, they about fell over, because I moved around without their help. (I moved MYSELF from the delivery guerney to the 'recovery bed')

#2-5 were natural births. No drugs. 2 in hospital/2 at home. I slept like a lamb, between and DURING labor pains. The nurses would wake me to ask, 'don't you feel that, your contractions are off the charts?'. LOL... they 'irritated' me because I was tired and wanted to rest............the 2 born at home were awesome! I slept when I wanted, drank soda when I wanted, ate what I wanted, did what I wanted.

#6&7 were C-sects, only because no one 'trusted' me to have the twins at the hospital. LOL!!!

413 posted on 04/02/2005 9:11:29 PM PST by mommadooo3
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To: All

Why don't people trumpet the joys of 'natural root canals'?


414 posted on 04/02/2005 9:18:42 PM PST by Mr Rogers
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To: gobucks

First of all, a heartfelt congratulations to the two of you!

Secondly, this is YOUR child and this is YOUR wife....THE TWO of you make your minds up what is more comfortable for you. I cringe when I hear women talking to a young pregnant woman, telling their horror stories...I want to get up and slap them all.

I had INCREDIBLY EASY deliveries. Fast and easy. NO meds whatsoever. BUT THAT WAS ME and there's no WAY I'd push what I did off on someone else just cuz that's how my body reacted to giving birth.

So? You two just smile and say you're "thinking about it" and thank you for your advice.....and walk away snickering. Then go forth and have your baby! :)

AND IF YOU DON'T PUT UP A THREAD when the baby's born.....I shall find you! Ha!


415 posted on 04/02/2005 9:46:36 PM PST by Brad’s Gramma (aitch tee tee pea colon 2 slashes dubya dubya dubya dot proud patriots dot org)
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To: gobucks
only 'Latest Posts' folks

Is there any other kind?

416 posted on 04/02/2005 9:52:57 PM PST by Critter (America, home of the whipped.)
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To: gobucks

Tell your wife to go natural! I speak from experience!


417 posted on 04/02/2005 10:17:12 PM PST by texpat72 (<><)
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To: gobucks
Maybe the Liberals obsession with gender equality. The experience of natural birth will shape your wive's perception on life and will affect the development of your child( remember "children are the future").
418 posted on 04/02/2005 10:23:59 PM PST by sanchez810
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To: Politicalmom
I TOTALLY floored my OBGYN when about three minutes after my first was born I said "I guess we could do this again soon." to my husband. : )

Heh, I guess you did! I didn't really have any hard labor with any of ours. With the last one, I was in transition, and was laying in the birthing room laughing and joking with the labor nurse! They were trying to hurry things up and had me turn over on my side! YOWSERS! That hurt more than anything, so I turned back to my back.

I mighta had more, except I got fat AFTER the last one was born! ;o)

419 posted on 04/02/2005 11:00:07 PM PST by SuziQ
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To: wardaddy
Are the same anti-epidural folks here anti-Petosin as well?

I had Pitocin with my first one, and I threatened bodily harm to anyone who suggested THAT again. GAK, it was awful! Those were the only contractions I had that were ever REALLY painful.

420 posted on 04/02/2005 11:02:03 PM PST by SuziQ
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