Posted on 04/02/2005 4:36:04 AM PST by gobucks
"Don't you dare guilt your wife into having a natural childbirth!", I am told by a nice woman I know at church. I have known this lady for some time, and we have never talked politics. Suddenly, my wife is hot political topic #1. And though the politics are 'under the radar', my wife is clearly a target in the ongoing cultural war.
Until my wife started to dramatically enlarge during this last trimester, comments like these had been few. Now, it is a torrent. "What hospital? What OB? You are getting an epidural, right? What brand of formula do you plan to use (as if we will collapse immediately into the arms of the Enfamil salesman)? You are not going to breast feed too long, are you? Are you on a waiting list yet for infant day care?"
My wife and I, married over 10 years with all kinds of issues associated with getting pregnant are about to be parents of a boy in a few weeks. We are of course, thrilled and overjoyed.
But the political overtones of how we bring him into the world are just unreal. The unending stream of opinion and advice about it, with over 95 percent of it being something like this: "don't be stupid. Get the epidural." We have yet to have a single woman report to us that having her baby in a fully undrugged state was a good idea.
Why is labor today so terrifying for women? Why is it that husbands are being taught that encouraging a woman to experience a full unmedicated delivery is akin to treating her like a barbarian? Heck, I've told my wife I am not the one having the baby, and thus, I'm not about to dictate to her how it should be done; I simply said I like the idea of natural childbirth and that is it. Why is this so politically incorrect? Why are hordes of women pouring out of the woodwork yelling at us to make sure she gets the drugs, the epidural?
What the heck is going on such that bringing a child into the world has to be so .... upsetting?
And these are women at my church! I can just imagine what a hapless secular woman in some lonely cul-de-sac must endure.
I'm a typical Chistian man with a very pregnant wife. I have an atypical enthusiasm for most things associated with FreeRepublic. I'm looking for reports from any of you husbands (or their wives) out there have experienced the kind of unreal cultural pressure my wife and I have undergone as this last trimester winds down.
I have googled around, looking for articles about this - and it is just about nada. Mostly stuff on teen pregnancy and abortion. Zilch regarding ordinary married folks who are being pressured to have a 'modern' birth experience.
I'm I the only one who is seeing how a pregnant woman is somehow a political lightning rod these days?
The evidence is there.
Reread your own posts.
You're taking this way too seriously! Like someone else who replied to you this morning, I give up. You don't seem to reside on planet earth.
"Why is labor today so terrifying for women? It's called PAIN!! "
It's called inconvenience.....
I read up on all that natural stuff too.
I won't go into the gory details, but about 12 hours into my 28 hour labor to give birth to a 9 lb. 11 oz. baby, I got my epidural. And liked it, too!!
IOW, don't rule anything out. And whatever you do, leave the choice 100% up to your wife. This is one time when the "it's her body" argument makes perfect sense!
Congratulations and good luck! GG
Close enough.
Please note that I appreciate that you are more diplomatic than I.
So my opinion is propaganda...but your opinion is fact and not propaganda.
Unless you are an anesthesiologist, please excuse me if I find your logic twisted.
Very good post. That's exactly my thinking!
Wow! What a great guy!
Mine had a buddy show up with Buffalo Wings and they proceeded to eat them and chat with me while I labored away. We laugh about that to this day!
Although when it "was time", although he had delivered several babies himself, he became a wide eyed first timer. It's different when they're your own.
Good luck with your next one! GG
Doctors play God everyday. Everytime they try and save a life, they are playing God.
My wife and I get to deal with the freaked out people who have their mind blown by the fact that she's pregnant with our fifth child. She had natural childbirth for the first three, but decided to do an epidural with the last child. She didn't seem very gung-ho about it after the fact; so she's not sure if she's going to get an epidural again.
She's also breastfed all of the children - and she's a SAHM who homeschools. Yes, we're countercultural.
While I think it's fine to think differently, almost writing something that would be pulled seems absurd.
People need to take some deep breaths around here.
It's nobody's business but yours and your wife's. Do what YOU want.
Having 5 energetic and healthy children (no epidurals) in 6 years, I got a lot of these kinds of remarks. The most frequent one was "Are you Catholic?"...usually accompanied w/a snicker by the would-be stand-up comedian.
When one asked my husband if we were raising them by the Spock method, my husband shot back w/"Hell, we haven't had time to read the book."
The Evolution of Motherhood
Being a parent changes everything.. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as
your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time,
breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes,
color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the
baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are
clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the
mechanical swing.
Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you
squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others
start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a
sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you
remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call
only if she sees blood.
At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing
at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be
sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding
from the children.
It was an unexpected pregnancy!
See post #316.
My wife has some of these on one of her t-shirts:
Yes, we have television; we just don't need it!
No, this is not some sort of daycare; it's 24/7!
Why should we fix it if it's not broke?
Yes, we know where they come from...God.
We had planned on two, my spouse just can't count.
Yes, we've heard of birth control; no birth and no control.
You should enjoy our large family; our kids will be paying your social security.
We didn't plan the first few, why start now?
Are we done!?! We're just getting started!
A few months ago, my mom and I were at a restaurant and we thought it was some sort of youth group going out for dinner after their meeting ahead of us in line. Turns out it was one family. We counted ten kids. When we got a glimpse of the side of the mother she was very clearly pregnant with #11. You don't see that everyday.
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