Posted on 04/02/2005 4:36:04 AM PST by gobucks
"Don't you dare guilt your wife into having a natural childbirth!", I am told by a nice woman I know at church. I have known this lady for some time, and we have never talked politics. Suddenly, my wife is hot political topic #1. And though the politics are 'under the radar', my wife is clearly a target in the ongoing cultural war.
Until my wife started to dramatically enlarge during this last trimester, comments like these had been few. Now, it is a torrent. "What hospital? What OB? You are getting an epidural, right? What brand of formula do you plan to use (as if we will collapse immediately into the arms of the Enfamil salesman)? You are not going to breast feed too long, are you? Are you on a waiting list yet for infant day care?"
My wife and I, married over 10 years with all kinds of issues associated with getting pregnant are about to be parents of a boy in a few weeks. We are of course, thrilled and overjoyed.
But the political overtones of how we bring him into the world are just unreal. The unending stream of opinion and advice about it, with over 95 percent of it being something like this: "don't be stupid. Get the epidural." We have yet to have a single woman report to us that having her baby in a fully undrugged state was a good idea.
Why is labor today so terrifying for women? Why is it that husbands are being taught that encouraging a woman to experience a full unmedicated delivery is akin to treating her like a barbarian? Heck, I've told my wife I am not the one having the baby, and thus, I'm not about to dictate to her how it should be done; I simply said I like the idea of natural childbirth and that is it. Why is this so politically incorrect? Why are hordes of women pouring out of the woodwork yelling at us to make sure she gets the drugs, the epidural?
What the heck is going on such that bringing a child into the world has to be so .... upsetting?
And these are women at my church! I can just imagine what a hapless secular woman in some lonely cul-de-sac must endure.
I'm a typical Chistian man with a very pregnant wife. I have an atypical enthusiasm for most things associated with FreeRepublic. I'm looking for reports from any of you husbands (or their wives) out there have experienced the kind of unreal cultural pressure my wife and I have undergone as this last trimester winds down.
I have googled around, looking for articles about this - and it is just about nada. Mostly stuff on teen pregnancy and abortion. Zilch regarding ordinary married folks who are being pressured to have a 'modern' birth experience.
I'm I the only one who is seeing how a pregnant woman is somehow a political lightning rod these days?
"I haven't seen anybody comment on the apparent effects of medication on the baby.
What is pronounced "normal" behavior for newborns: sleeping almost continuously, inability to focus, a dazed expression, etc. appears to be largely the residual effects of medication, since the vast majority of American babies are born to heavily medicated mothers. These effects may last for weeks or months, as the baby's immature systems find it difficult to throw off their effects.
My wife gave birth to two beautiful daughters without any medication whatsoever. Both girls were alert and active literally from the moment of birth. The difference from babies born to medicated women was quite dramatic.
I have no intention of condemning anybody else's decision, and would have fully supported her if she'd chosen to be medicated.
But I think it makes sense to at least contemplate the possible effects on the baby, although I have no idea whether the effects linger past a few weeks."
You have a set of beliefs. You have a RIGHT to those beliefs. I do not share those beliefs.
LOL! This is nothing new! People just love giving advice to pregnant women. It's human nature. You'll be getting advice the rest of your life. Maybe you should listen once in awhile. Not eveything is a fight.
Anticipate everything in childbirth. No two are the same and don't be suprised if in the middle of it your wife starts screaming with some choice words. THAT is also natural.
That's probably why we had five and would have had more if we could.
God apparently knew what he was doing when He made us forget!
The best advice I could give you to understand labor is for you to poop a watermelon while everyone who walks into your hospital room keeps sticking their hands up "you-know-where" to see how you're doing!!
For many women, not all, it hurts like hell, others poop 'em out like a gumball machine. Follow your wife's lead and go with whatever she feels SHE can handle.
And forgive her for the possible nasty castration comments that may be uttered during a particularly hard contraction.
I am going to have my children at home with a midwife and all natural.
Boy you nailed it!
Your opinion about over-medication is no more valid than the other's opinions on using medication. Pain is real. Some people cannot bear it.
Why is Narcan given immediately to infants whose mother's had pain medication during labor-more medication even in the first few minutes of life. I'm not saying pain isn't real-everyone experiences it in one form or another I'm just saying that pain medication isn't the first and only option.
"ALL of my LDR nurses told me afterward how going natural made things so much easier because you can get right up and walk around and go potty all on your own. I don't think anyone ever told me before labor what the negatives of epidurals are."
My wife had an epidural for 5 deliveries and was up and about within an hour and a half each time. To each his own
Sounds like demon possession :o)
"My husband very kindly said, "hey honey, I see the head" to which I pulled the oxygen away and said, "Who died and made you doctor?" Two seconds later the nurse said the same thing. I felt a little bad for snapping at him, but he should have kept his medical opinion to himself at that point!"
How dare your husband choose to join in and be part of the event! How dare he become excited at the evidence of his own eyes and seek to share his excitement with you!
Theres a simple solution for this: We put it up on the ballot....
LOL!!! that's actually funny. I hear women say much worse and maybe there's something to not having men in the room.
Oh please, she acknowledged that she snapped at him and felt bad for it. Not every thought and action during labor is a lucid one.
Yes much of it is pain inspired and hormonal. My mom doesn't curse but she said she really wanted to when the doctor stuck his hand up there to turn me around :o) I was born feet first hehe.
I'd quite agree. My wife has chosen pain relief for all thee children and our children are as bright and as well-read as any parent could wish for. She didn't palan to for the 1st, but circumstances dictated and we've been happy ever
since
"That said, follow your hearts. (And your wife's discomfort) Just wait to see how your wife is doing and if need be, ask for something to ease the pain. Either way, it's a win win!!!! You will ALL be fine!!!"
Best advice I've seen. Know your options and talk to your doctor and labor and delivery nurse about them. Aside from the pain, there is the fear of the unknown. I found out, during labor and delivery, that I have a high tolerance for pain and my babies delivered quickly. Mine were born "naturally". I was however, prepared to ask for help (pain meds) if I needed it.
I've given birth twice without epidurals or pain meds, and I'll be having my third that way in August. Granted there is no medal presented for doing this, but it is a satisfying accomplishment nonetheless.
I tried to get an epidural with the first pregnancy, but because of previous back surgery, it wouldn't work. I think the experience was harder than it should have been because I was expecting to have some pain relief.
With my son, I knew it wouldn't be an option, so I labored mostly at home and went to the hospital only when it was truly necessary. At that point it was too late to be talked into any drugs by nurses (they tried though) and the experience was great and almost easy. I just kept focusing on my little girl at home and the fact that for centuries women did it with no drugs, so I can too.
IMHO The Bradley method was not very helpful at all. We took it before my first, and all they did was fill my head with anti-drug propaganda, and not many techniques to use in labor. Get their book, but I don't recommend the classes. It was like group therapy with the Birkenstock wearing crowd.
Obviously the only thing that is important is a safe and healthy delivery, everything else (pain included) is secondary. Best wishes to you both!!!
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