Posted on 03/29/2005 2:00:05 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
............If I am undervalued and unrewarded, half nuts and to blame for every ill that can befall a child, I don't want to spend my last 15 minutes of consciousness at the end of what Warner describes as my exhausting and unfulfilling day reading about it.
Maybe it is just me, because these books are flying off the shelves and the authors are getting time with Katie Couric and on National Public Radio and are on the cover of Newsweek.
My theory is this: The authors of these books are just as bright, angry and tired as the mothers they write about, and they are very good at what women do best: complain.
The only difference between you and them is a book deal.
There have been moments -- usually when my children are sleeping safe in their own beds -- when I have descended into sentiment and thought of motherhood as a sacred trust.
But most of the time I answer my children's cell phone calls like this: "Now what?"
I know what I do -- preparing the next generation to take its place in the world -- is beyond meaningful compensation.
That's why I work for someone who will pay me.
I am sure Mary Eberstadt could find the damage I have done to my children by working, but I have never needed to go very far to be criticized for that.
After all, it was my first-born who once said, "You get dressed up, leave us with someone we don't like, come home in a bad mood and make a sorry dinner."
The only difference between him and these authors is a book deal.
(Excerpt) Read more at baltimoresun.com ...
"But to have it all, you give it all up - closeness to children, time together as a family unit and true connection to your spouse."
I've gotten flamed for my opinion on this topic before, but again, I totally disagree with you about this. My mother was (and still is) a successful working woman, who is still married to my dad (almost 40 years now), and I have never been more proud of or inspired by anyone else. I remember helping her proofread her doctoral dissertation when I was in highschool, and thinking that she was the person I wanted to be when I grew up. Neither my brother nor I ever felt neglected or disconnected from our family, and we were both encouraged towards academic and extracurricular accomplishments, both by words and example. I don't think my life would be nearly as enriched as it is if my mother hadn't been so inspiring.
Some people should be contented and blessed with what they have been given, instead of trying to aspire to something that doesn't exists, Being happy with what you've got seams to be hard work for some people, There to busy spending time wondering what other people think they should be doing,instead of living the best way you can, I blame these so called movie stars, making out they have a hard time. and want it all attitude. and Most of them are stressed and miserable./p>
A woman genius academically I think should be an exception to the rule. Her value to society is potentially extremely large. Like a researcher in pharmacueticals as a hypothetical. So its possible such a woman could surpass the value of children, with the value of her impact on society.
Of course here is the counter argument. Woman gifted genetically with intelligence, would also have a higher likely hood of producing genius offspring. So in the long run it still might be worth it for her to have a large family, instead of pursuing her research.
As evidenced by the fact that both of you have academic accomplishments.. thats not surprising if both your parents are intelligent.
It's always inspirational to hear from people whose children have turned out well, with the values we hope to instill.
But my mother is so worried about my not working (for pay) that she's giving me a Roth-IRA so I won't be a bag lady in my 70's :-).
Condoleeza Rice is not having children.
Where is her value? Is it in her current job or should she have had children so that her gene pool is put into use?
I really don't know, but I'm just using her as an example.
I don't know what my IQ is because I have never been officially tested. I've taken some online tests, and it comes out high. However, I suspect that I am gifted in math. I have an engineering degree, and math comes easily to me.
My husband has been tested, and he has a very high IQ.
We now have 3 kids, and I have quit work to take care of the kids. My son has been tested and is "gifted".
One of my daughters has brain damage that has caused her to have severe speech problems. Unfortunately that brings her tested IQ down. I still think she is gifted in math. She is one of the top students in 2nd grade in math, and she easily catches on to math concepts.
I'm sure my other daughter will come out as gifted because she is the naturally smartest of my three kids.
The good thing about me not working is that I can help out in their schools. I also have time to help my kids with math at home. My son tells me that I teach math much better than his teachers.
I think if I was working, I wouldn't have the energy to help my kids with homework or anything else. I think also that when both parents work, the weekends are spent on runnning errands or doing work around the house. I get most of the errands done while my kids are at school, so we can spend time together as a family on the weekends.
"Condoleeza Rice is not having children."
Ya, if she had children, she very liekly would not have gone so far in her career. Some women including possibly her might have fertility problems as well, or other health problems.
Basically most of intelligence I believe is genetic. Its not much different then two very tall people having a child.. that child is likely to be very tall. But intelligence by itself doesn't mean much, so you need education, discipline, work ethic.. aka good parenting to reach the potential.
Engineering is also a good degree for you to have, because once your kids are older you will be able to go into the workforce again, and get a high paying job.
I also think about it like this, all of the work that your children do in their lifetimes, and the work all of their chidlren do, etc.. is only possible if you give birth to them. Sort of like a capital investment:).
Not being married is an issue, too. You make your tradeoffs. The great fallacy of the contemporary "feminists" is that there are no tradeoffs.
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