Posted on 03/24/2005 9:05:49 PM PST by TheWriterTX
In November of 2001, back before my new computer and lost password, I was simply "The Writer." I posted a vanity prayer request for my second child, my daughter Sky, who was born during an emergency c-section at just 32 weeks. Prayers came in from all over Free Republic, and my family was humbled by the support.
During the entire 40 minute ambulance ride to the hospital, we were not able to detect her heartbeat. Still, I pleaded with God to sustain her.
I experienced a 30% abruption and floated in and out of consciousness on the delivery table, my heart rate dipping dangerously. In my moments of consciousness, I prayed for God to sustain her.
We had no way of knowing if our beloved daughter would survive, if she would be disabled, if she would be technology-dependent. It didn't matter. I knew her little soul was still in there, fighting daily. I knew it as surely as I knew my name. I knew it, because every fiber in my being shouted it to me.
The first time I saw my daughter, she had a huge breathing apparatus over her face, needles and tubes sticking out of every limb, and was being fed through a tube in her stomach. I spent many hours at her side, conveying my love through song, words, touch, and, finally, miraculously, by feeding her. Just 12 days later, our darling child was home with us. She is now a bright, beautiful 3 year old, with gorgeous honey brown eyes, a chatty, friendly nature, who executed a forward roll and handstand at gymnastics on Tuesday.
Last summer, I discovered I was pregnant again. I knew within days that I was carrying a baby, that a little soul was nestled inside me. I knew it with every fiber of my being. I had to wait before it even showed on the pregnancy tests.
I also knew, 8 weeks later, when that little soul departed. I woke that morning with the knowledge that my child was no longer with me. I knew before the bleeding began two days later. I knew before the sonogram at the emergency room confirmed it.
Some folks like to dismiss a mother's instinct as tomfoolery, but I never have. Something within Terri is resonating a response within her mother. In my opinion, this is not "wishful thinking" on her mother's part, but some instinctual sense that Terri's soul is still in there, fighting daily.
I know if it was my daughter in there, and I felt that her soul was still present, I would move mountains to save her, too.
I know from whence I speak. My nephew, Eric, had a seriously underdeveloped cerebellum and lived for only 6 months; yet his life changed everyone who knew him and he most definitely fought daily to live.
Thanks, I most certainly needed it.
I wrote it, and after hitting post thought, "this thread has about zero to smile or laugh about", so I got nervous but I'm glad you found the humor uplifting.... even if just for a second... :)
This is exactly what I've been saying. It's the single most painful thing in all of this tragedy; a mother having to watch her child being murdered and being constrained by law from doing anything. I would go insane. It's tearing me up just thinking about it because I'm a mother and like you, I know that a mother's instinct is very very real.
I hope that for the rest of his miserable life that someone will be shadowing him and calling him the murderer he is. I hope the same fate for the judges involved in this killing. Why should they be allowed to forget what they have done? They should be reminded every hour of every day that we will never forget what they did.
I'm sorry for your losses, thank you for posting your story.
As for Rush, he wasn't talking about people like you, but people who DID pull the plug for selfish reasons, and now find themselves very troubled.
[and a baby that doesn't have his/her days and nights mixed up for the first 6 months :)]
Oh my gosh, you mean it's possible to get one that's NOT mixed up?! ;} My 17-year old STILL has his days/nights mixed up. But he's an unbelievable joy to me...even during the 2 a.m. chat sessions.
[people like you, but people who DID pull the plug ]
That's what's so frustrating about the Terri Schiavo discussion in the MSM. People keep talking about Terri's wish not to be kept alive by machines. Our family "pulled the plug" on my grandmother two years ago. My grandmother literally couldn't live without the ventilator, and had made us promise many times not to let her live like that. She made us promise that we would just let her go. Most of us have expressed the same sentiment, but I'll bet Terri Schiavo never meant that she wanted to have a feeding tube pulled so that she could dehydrate and starve to death. This is not a "pulling the plug" scenario that the average person thinks of.
God bless you and your son, John.
Mine kind of gets that way too when she's been after me to get up since the break of dawn till lunch time.
"All I can say is that after all of this get's to a conclusion(whatever that is) Mikey Boy Schivo will be a pariah and will NEVER be able to go ANYWHERE without someone wanting to SPIT on him!"
Amen to that. His life as he knew it is over. I'm trying to work up some pity...ooof, ooooooof, ngff, errrnnff...
I fondly remember you as TheWriter, and am very happy to see you back.
God bless you, WriterTX, you are courageous and kind to have shared your story. My son had the same personality at the fetal age of 8 weeks in utero that he does today -- humorous and joyful -- I knew him. The other soul who came to me and then departed in the same length of time -- 8 weeks -- was less communicative.
The Marxist Left has done its best to try to eliminate motherhood and obliterate the word from our vocabulary, but you have eloquently expressed the soul connection and attunement grateful mothers feel for their children.
Terri is doubtless feeling the love and prayers of all of us around the country who can barely work, eat or sleep while she is in this ordeal. I think of her with every mouthful or sip I take. She is my Lent and my Living Christ this Easter.
I will take a break from posting on FR for a while.
Again, sorry.
AHHH! I LOVE IT!! "panpapes"... my son comes in asking if he can watch "MOMO" (elmo) Man, kids are adorable, huh?
:-)
No offense was taken here. There have been a lot of vanities lately, and you were merely pointing out the truth!
Have a wonderful holiday, and God bless, my FRiend.
Oops. I just posted. =)
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