Sibling rhubarb.
Posted on 03/18/2005 5:45:50 AM PST by burlywood
A farmer’s daughter pleaded guilty to assault for attacking her brother with a stick of rhubarb. Margaret Porter, 50, dashed the missile at her brother William, 72, after he laughed at her. Northallerton magistrates heard that his sister responded by hurling the rhubarb back, striking him in the face.
That's the whole article?
Slow news day.
Could've been much worse. Bananas. Or loganberries.
This actually went to a court?
Sibling rhubarb.
Never rub another man's rhubarb.
Just one stick (stalk) of rhubarb? Not the whole thing?
Sheeesh, how much damage can that do? Did she poke his eye out?
When rhubarb is outlawed...
(Rhubard pie)
rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb (and other assorted crowd noise)
Blackadder Goes Forth...
(Haig picks up [telephone] and is looking over a model of the battlefield.)
Haig: Haig.
Edmund: Hello, Sir Douglas.
Haig: Who is this?
Edmund: Captain Blackadder, sir, erstwhile of the 1945th East African rifles.
Haig: Good lord! Blacky! (knocks down an entire line of model soldiers)
Edmund: Yes, sir.
Haig: I haven't seen you since... (knocks down the second line of model soldiers on the same side)
Edmund: '92, sir -- Mboto Gorge.
Haig: By jingo, yes. We sure gave those pygmies a good squashing.
Edmund: We certainly did, sir. And do you remember...?
Haig: My god, yes. You saved my damn life that day, Blacky. If it weren't for you, that pygmy woman with the sharpened mango could have seriously...
Edmund: Well, exactly, sir. And do you remember then that you said that if I was ever in real trouble and I really needed a favour that I was to call you and you'd do everything you could to help me?
Haig: (sweeps the fallen soldier models into a dustpan) Yes, yes, I do, and I stick by it. You know me -- not a man to change my mind.
Edmund: No -- we've noticed that.
Haig: So what do you want? Spit it out, man. (hurls the dead platoon over his shoulder)
Edmund: Well, you see, sir, it's the Big Push today, and I'm not all that keen to go over the top.
Haig: (sits) Oh, I see. Well...
Edmund: It was a viciously sharp slice of mango, wasn't it, sir...
(Webster's III, which also gives “an aerial strafing mission against targets of opportunity.”)
Or passionfruit, or pomegranates...
You've got to be kidding!
"You can have my rhubarb when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!"
I propose a 7 day waiting period on ALL vegetables. Imagine the carnage if she had gotten her hand on a piece of corn, or worse yet, a potato! Oh, the carnage!
What would have happened if she had accidentally left it on a table where a child could get to it!
We must do more to keep vegetables out of the hands of kids!</sarcasm>
Or pointed sticks.
Or passionfruit, or pomegranates...
Or a pointed stick.
Pointed stick? Where, where?
Ya ya, fences around all de garden, no shildren under 12 near de garden, chop chop. Anyone planning to plant a garden this spring must have de pychological examination first by de King of Rhubarb.
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