Posted on 03/16/2005 3:28:28 AM PST by MississippiMasterpiece
The high percentage of marriages that end in divorce has created a new trend; many men are planning financially for their divorce before they even get married.
A recent survey conducted by the Indiana Family Institute (IFI) found that 79% of men who are engaged to be married worry that their marriage will end in divorce and they will be ruined financially. As a result, more than half of these men admitted to setting up secret nest eggs in case their fears become reality.
“Some people believe this is the height of pessimism, but to me it makes perfect sense,” says Dr. Phillip Haus, director of the study, “Many of these men are professionals who have worked hard for their success and don’t want to start from scratch if the woman they marry turns out to be a total witch to live with.”
Haus says the most common way engaged men plan for the worst is by setting up a savings account in the name of a relative they trust who has had a long, sound marriage so their funds will be safe. This way once the joint assets are divided after a divorce, they will have a little something extra to fall back on.
“Let’s face it,” added Haus, “The man is the one who almost always get screwed over when a divorce occurs. Even though he usually made more money than the woman in the marriage, he loses the house, and ends up paying child support since the woman will get custody of their offspring. This new trend just provides him with a little insurance so he can enjoy a decent standard of living.”
Some men go to even greater lengths to secure their futures. “We had a few cases where engaged men told us they gave a good portion of their belongings to friends or relatives for safe keeping. One man admitted buying a house in his gay cousin’s name so he would have a place to live if things didn’t work out. This shows the sad state of relationships and the impact of divorce in this country.”
Haus believes the trend of setting up divorce nest eggs will continue. “As long as there is divorce, there will be people trying to beat the system.”
Face it, women are smarter -- they hide their divorce nest eggs in plain sight. Diamonds really are a girl's best friend...
Perhaps it is about much more than sex, but it is still about sex, and marriage means you have sole-sourced that fairly important aspect of your life.
Most women forget about this, or if they have issues about it fail to communicate their issues in a way that men can actually take any kind of meaningful corrective action.
We don't either. I inherited and it went into our account. Husband inherited twice and signed checks over to me. He told me to even things out {he has more money than me in retirement accounts} as I had spent alot of years at home with the kids. It was just never an issue. In good marriages it isn't. We are joined at the heart in all ways and money is the least of our issues. The biggest, he wants the remote and it drives me nuts. And he is always making "improvements" to my computer and that makes me crazy. And he gives advice on issues tghat he has no business doing, like fights with my sisters. I am sure he has a list too but money is not an issue. Nor secrets.
What do most Pre-Nups say? How does that work? I know someone who had a bunch of real estate in his name before marriage. He had her sign a pre-nup.....and now he has sold all THAT specific real estate and bought NEW stuff while married.....
Does that mean that she is entitled to the new stuff now? And the pre-nup is almost void?
Oh, you are cynical. Marriage is wonderful. I guess I see pair bonding for life as a good thing. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. And my husband says likewise.
To have a best friend, financial partner, father for children, someone who will go check for burglars and pick up heavy stuff, and love you when you get old. How could anyone say that isn't worth it?
Yikes! And you guys are Conservatives?
I'm more of a "Classical Liberal" which puts me on the Right in contemporary terms, but I am not a good conservative of the churchgoing variety.
Didn't know about the 75% statistic. Wow.
Marriage is fine.
If you take it in small quantities.
Certainly I am not wrong, within the laws that I understand in my own state, where I have handled divorces for 20 years. Thanks for your perspective, however.
Well, I'll stand down then, but I'd be specific about what the state you're talking about when saying such things. Your advice is not true in mine.
Actually, this not is accurate, at least as far as California (no fault state) is concerned. I think you have to be married/common law married for 10 years for the inherentance to one party to become automatically community property of both parties. I know this because my father's passing is what precipitated my first wife's divorce filing. She guessed wrong on what was really a tiny amount of money. Now she says I was the only person she's ever loved. Yea, right. I think she is currently going through divorce number 3.
better:
Say no to marrying liberal/leftist or feminist women!
This is a very good question!
I would think if this were possible that it could crack the devastation that the divorce industry is profiting from.
The grass is definitely greener on your side of the fence and even though it makes me a little bit jealous of another's good fortune, it's a beautiful thing to hear you talk about it. Before I die I hope and pray that I get to experience it for myself. Clearly your husband married well and may you never take each other for granted! (Not that it's likely you will)
We are pretty old and have been tending the "grass" for a long time. Marriage is not easy but I don't know anything better. Sometimes I see it as our being two stones in one of those machines that polishes stone,,you know what I mean. It is like my edges hit his and after a while, the edges are just smoother. I think I see marriage as a long term partnership in all things and alot of habits that grow up. You have alot of choice about the habits and I thinkk that makes the difference. To start out lying to one another, well that is insurmountable.
Stick with it,you will find yours!
Over the years, I have known some married women who referred to their "get away money", or "escape money". The implication was that money was squirreled away "just in case". I remember some of the revenue streams were quite ingenuus :)
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