Posted on 03/09/2005 9:47:25 AM PST by qam1
NEW YORK – They've been part of the American "uniform" for years, worn to casual restaurants, house parties, and some workplaces.
But as jeans become more expensive, they are also becoming more ubiquitous, showing up everywhere from Midwestern churches to Broadway shows. Nothing is off limits, it seems. Or is it? Among those who buy high-priced, designer denim or who simply don jeans frequently - there's debate about where it's appropriate to wear them.
The tug of war over jeans etiquette is particularly prevalent in New York City. Here, people tend to be more creative about their appearance, and are often more demanding about how fashion-conscious people should look, says Dannielle Romano, editor at large for DailyCandy.com, a fashion and trends website.
Many 20- and 30-somethings here have theater backgrounds, for example, and often say it's inappropriate to wear jeans to theater and other cultural performances out of respect for the performers and the surroundings (even though the venues themselves have no official dress codes).
"I am all in favor of the current denim revolution that we are having, but I do feel that there are times when jeans should be left at home," says Lisa Kerson, a jewelry designer in her early 30s, whose parents insisted that she look nice when going to a play or traveling on a plane. "I still get bothered when I see people wearing jeans to the theater, ballet, opera, etc.," she says in an e-mail.
Melissa Popiel also prefers not to see denim at the theater, or at an engagement party. To her, jeans are OK for a house party or a casual dinner, but not for traditionally dressy places. "I don't like going to cocktail parties and seeing people in jeans," says the advertising executive, who's in her late 20s.
Ms. Popiel estimates she owns about 15 to 20 pairs, including premium brands, and has paid as much as $200 for a pair.
Many others are also paying big bucks for their jeans - from $150 to $1,000 or more per pair. Celebrities, in particular, are making jeans their garb of choice for appearances on talk shows and at some red-carpet events.
That, say fashion experts, sets the tone for the masses, who are encouraged by features like one in the Jan. 24 edition of Us magazine, "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Jeans," complete with suggestions for buying "premium" denim ($140 or more).
The concept of designer jeans is not new, however. They were also hot in the 1970s and 80s.
Are these jeans made for parties?
Etiquette experts offer few hard and fast rules about jeans, but among them are the obvious: Leave them in the closet when you're attending a wedding, or if your workplace bans them.
"A lot of it has to do with the appropriateness of the kind of jean you're wearing," says Peter Post, grandson of manners maven Emily Post and author of the book "Essential Manners for Men."
It comes down to determining if the jeans are for fashion or work. A pair that you do yard work in, for example, are "probably not appropriate to be wearing to a restaurant that night," he explains.
Mr. Post has seen men show up in quality restaurants wearing denim, which doesn't bother him as much as how sloppy their appearance sometimes is.He recalls seeing a man dressed in a T-shirt and old rumpled jeans. "He hadn't taken any care to step it up just a notch, to say to the woman he was with, 'You know, you're really important to me. I want to look good. I want you to look at me and be proud of me,' " he says.
Dark denim is making it easier for men to comfortably wear jeans in the evenings, especially since black jeans are no longer "in." But no matter how hip a certain style may be, some places are still off-limits.
"I probably won't wear them to a funeral," says Robert Smith, a 30- something businessman in Rockton, Ill. But in the past few years he's started wearing them everywhere else - to church and to most work-related functions.
Not the fabric but how it's used
The good news for jeans devotees is that standards for judging people on their appearance are loosening a bit - at least among women under 40. A recent study by Cotton Incorporated indicates that Generation X-age women (26 to 39) are less concerned about first impressions when it comes to dressing than they were 10 years ago, and more often are taking the approach that "you can't judge a book by its cover." The reverse was true for women boomer-age and older.
Alice Harris, author of the book "The Blue Jean," attributes the rise of jeans to casual Fridays in workplaces, which shifted the way people viewed dressing.
"We've actually gone back to a much simpler way of looking at it," suggests Post of the changing attitudes. It's not that certain materials, like denim, are bad. "It's what you've done with that material."
We just have a lot of gang activity in certain areas and my husband loves to make those arrests - he can't stand the gang bangers.
Don't get me wrong, my husband is like a gazelle - he always catches them, but they do shed their clothes as they run, right down to their birthday suits! Especially in the summer - if they are hot and sweaty the gangsters know it is harder to cuff and subdue a sweaty wiggling naked man.
YUK - bad mental image!
Not much of a source.
Have you ever noticed how those that say they don't care about appearances care when you criticize their appearance?
Black rockies are fine with me, and I'm in Dallas.
Jeans are appropriate dress for a Texas funeral.
Sometimes, it is neither "nice" nor "right" to refrain from offering criticism. For instance, I would be negligent as a parent not to criticize my child's choice of clothing if it were inappropriate for the occasion. (Of course, it would be wrong to criticize him in a way that would cause him embarrassment.)
It's not snobbery. No one is saying you have to wear Armani suits or Prada dresses. A pair of khakis and an oxford shirt are not much more expensive than jeans and a t-shirt. You can get a decent suit for a couple of hundred bucks.
This has nothing to do with money. Rich people can be uncultured snobs while working class people can know exactly what is appropriate in a given situation.
From the description of your outfit I sure hope you're a girl! :^)
I'll let the two of you settle this one. Blunderbusses at twenty paces, perhaps? :-)
In most circumstances, while meeting the president (excluding formal dinners etc) I'd wear jeans. After all, while he is a great guy and the best Pres we've had he's still just our employee
While meeting the Queen I'd wear jeans. She's a foreigner and her presence does not automatically deserve dress clothes
If he is wearing a $140 pair of jeans going to an expensive Opera (which is what the article is about), chances are he is not wanting for money and could easily afford some decent clothes. They don't have to be designer label or anything (that is being a snob), but apporiate attire for the occasion.
But it seems pretty obvious that the man in your story couldn't afford better. I'd never hold that against him.
But some guy appearing that way driving a BMW or going to a $200 a person dinner? Yes. He is a slob IMO.
"One of the purposes of clothing is to communicate."
HUH? You know that never occurred to me. Maybe it's because I communicate with my words and deeds, not with my clothes. I've never thought that my clothes could do the "talking" for me. My husband would probably like it if they did! Sure be alot quieter around here. LOL
Ok, I know you're quite serious so I apologize for my laughing about that statement. Maybe I'm just too much of a simple lady. I know there are women (and men) who dress to impress, but you know what? It doesn't impress me. I like dressing up as much as the next person, but I certainly wouldn't want to be judged by what I'm wearing. Heck, I could wear a formal gown and some hoity-toit would judge me on the style I chose or the color and come away believing that I was somehow not as good as they are.
I remember some of the snooty women in our church. I swear they acted as if the biggest thrill they got out of Sunday service was gossiping about what some other folks were wearing. Shameful.
As for the other part of your post, it's mixing apples & oranges. Yes, if one wants others to understand what they are "saying" or "writing", punctuation, and speaking skills are important. If someone chooses to not use punctuation, etc., then they are choosing to make it difficult to be understood.
Well, I guess they really don't teach etiquette anymore.
It really is sad just how much the hippie ethos has sunk into American culture.
The source was not Larry King, but one of his guests. I think it was Merv Griffin who told the story.
Tell your son that if he doesn't want to get judged by his tattoos, he should cover them up when he's not among friends. Duh, is that really so hard?
Did he get tattooed for him? Or did he get tattooed to make some kind of statement? Guess what? He's making a statement all right! And people are judging him accordingly.
I'm at work right now. If you saw me, you'd think I was an average Joe, stepping out of the Lands End catalog. At 5:30 when I go to band practice, or to the tattoo shop to shoot the breeze, will be another story.
And save the "of all people, you should know better" speech, cause I've been there, done that. I've had people look at me when I've gone to the store in short sleeves. I've flown cross country with my friend who owns a tattoo shop and has tattoos on his neck and hands. He makes $150 an hour and $150,000 a year CASH and people still treat him like he's felonious parolee. I don't like to be looked at like a circus freak and I don't like "show and tell" about my tattoos, so when I go out I wear long sleeves.
There's a time and a place for everything. It's not unChristian to look at a guy wearing a hat in a restaurant like he's a dolt, because indeed he's acting like a dolt. The same goes for other similar situations.
From a guy with 2 "sleeves" and a "half-sleeve".
Whether you realize it or not, you do send a message based on what you wear. Going back to the President Bush example, by wearing a suit and tie at all times in the White House, he communicates his respect for the dignity of the office. President Clinton, on the other hand, would wear shorts and a t-shirt in the White House. We all know how highly he valued the dignity of his office....
Category: If it isn't true, it should be ... etc.
You are obviously a very nice person, and a wonderful mother. I got a good chuckle over your post. That picture your took of your kids and the cousins is bound to be enjoyed for many years to come.
When our boys were in highschool, they were into dying their hair. They weren't into the bright colors, they just both wanted to be blondes. One year the entire hockey team died their hair blonde. What a hoot that was! We were playing in another town one weekend when I overheard a parent remark that she had never seen such a town full of blondes. LOL They, like most of their highschool friends, had their fun with the fad, and then moved on.
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