IN THE BEGINNING.....

email | unknown | unknown

[An.American.Expatriate]

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the

Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,

cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red

vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live

long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and

Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Kreme Donuts. And Satan

said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, Yes!"

and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some

sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan

smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might

keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan

brought forth white flour from the

wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And

Woman went from size 6 to size 14.So God said, Try my

fresh green salad." And Satan presented

Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic

toast on

the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts

following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy

vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And

Satan brought forth deep fried fish and

chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went

through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it

"Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then

created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His

children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave

cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have

to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman

laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and

gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in

fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off

the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into

chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume

fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And

Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double

cheeseburger. Then said, You want fries with that?"

And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And

Satan said, It is good." And Man went into cardiac

arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass

surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

[An.American.Expatriate]

FWIW . . .

[Question Liberal Authority]

I always suspected Satan was behind Ben and Jerry's.

[layman]

Alright Satan! ... Go, baby, Go!

[ADSUM]

The email I received included the following thought for the day:

Thought for the day ......
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.