My wife, OTOH, will be alive for 169 years at least ;)
A couple of Henny Youngman classics:
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? Because they want to.
Why are Jewish divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.
(He used "Jewish", not me. They'd still be funny without it :))
Well, sounds like my soon to be ex will live to be 1,000...
Yeah SHE lives longer because she sucks the life out of YOU.
No problem here either!!!
Let me get this straight. If you argue with your wife, you're an ass. But if she wants to argue with your, it's medically proven to be the right thing to do.
Let me guess. If she wants the ba--s, it's best to let her have them...
LMAO
Why do men die first?
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay.... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism..
If she gets a job ahead of you ... it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet ... it's male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her.... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you.... she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination..
If she asks you ... it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert.
If you don't ... you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you're vain.
If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers ... you're after something.
If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.
If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired.
If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed.
If you don't ... there must be someone else.
Men die first because they want to.
It doesn't really add years....it just seems much longer.
Just think of the commerical with the referee being yelled at by his wife. Be at peace and remember, it's only background noise. ;)
Let?
Denny Crane: "There are two places to find the truth. First God and then Fox News."
I will live FOREVER!!!
Simple.
Men have to live with women.
Wow....the ultimate double-edged sword.
Because women make men WISH FOR DEATH!
Hehe, snicker.
Ping- just for fun.
Hitlery anyway - ol' bl*wj*b Bill hasn't been looking too good lately...
HUH??? Bill doesn't argue back. He takes it like a lil' bitch.