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When Sexuality Undercuts A Family's Ties
Washington Post ^ | February 13, 2005 | Marc Fisher

Posted on 02/13/2005 8:46:21 AM PST by Scenic Sounds

M aya Keyes loves her father and mother. She put off college and moved from the family home in Darnestown to Chicago to be with her dad on a grand adventure. Even though she disagrees with him on "almost everything" political, she worked hard for his quixotic and losing campaign for the U.S. Senate.

Now Maya Keyes -- liberal, lesbian and a little lost -- finds herself out on her own. She says her parents -- conservative commentator and perennial candidate Alan Keyes and his wife, Jocelyn -- threw her out of their house, refused to pay her college tuition and stopped speaking to her.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: alankeyes; familyvalues; homosexualagenda
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To: followerofchrist
but my friend got her dignity back

by finger--painting with dog poop?

81 posted on 02/13/2005 11:59:44 AM PST by papertyger (If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.)
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To: papertyger
I'm sure in the Keyes household opinions are not valued just because you happen to like them, but because you can argue their merits. If daughter is holding opinions reprehensible to her father's, and refuses to engage father to give him the opportunity to refute those opinions, what is left?

How very logical. I can't fault your logic at all, but we're not talking about logic here, but familial relationships. Relationships between humans with feelings, not Vulcans. I love my daughters. There a million and one things my daughters could do that I wouldn't approve of, things that could hurt me, things that could make me angry, things that could dissapoint me, but not much that could make me turn my back on them.

My oldest daughter, the mother of my granddaughter, is 26. She's an adult, and as an adult she really doesn't owe me the opportunity to refute any opinions she holds. Like any adult, she can choose what she wants to put on the table for discussion, and what she doesn't. What a petty, petty man I'd be if I turned my back on her for not seeing things my way.

82 posted on 02/13/2005 12:03:57 PM PST by Melas
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To: KC_for_Freedom
We insisted our son go to classes leading to his Bar Mitzvah.

The problem with this is that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is supposed to mark the beginning of a young adult's participation in the Jewish community. Too tragically often it represents the end of Hebrew studies and synagogue attendance.

Our children all attended Jewish day schools and yeshivot from the time they were three years old. Some did rebel for a while, some chose a path even more stringent than the one we follow, but none left the fold. One of my sons became more religious after joining the IDF. More important than learning what to believe and how to observe is understanding why.

83 posted on 02/13/2005 12:04:49 PM PST by Alouette (Learned Mother of Zion)
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To: Scenic Sounds
Some parents put family ahead of politics....

Hmmmmmm. I wonder if there is a non-sexual word for a concept equivalent to "cuckold?"

84 posted on 02/13/2005 12:07:07 PM PST by papertyger (If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.)
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To: phil1750

hater.


85 posted on 02/13/2005 12:07:31 PM PST by ichabod1 (The Spirit of the Lord Hath Left This Place)
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To: Scenic Sounds

Alan Keyes will not condone what he does not believe. Call him a hard-liner. The daughter sounds like she understands.


86 posted on 02/13/2005 12:09:42 PM PST by ichabod1 (The Spirit of the Lord Hath Left This Place)
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To: Melas

I'm missing something. Which overtly hostile acts are you referring to? I haven't seen anything that I'd call overtly hostile, but then again, I might have easily missed something. It is perfectly acceptable and reasonable to hold some different ideas from one's parents. But - Ms. Keyes choose a political ideology that is not only diametrically opposed to her parents', but also one that her father has opposed in his public life, and could be argued, based his career upon, and she choose to make those differences public in a way that will embarrass and hurt her parents. Hardly the act of a loving child who values her relationship with her parents and just wants them to talk to her.

87 posted on 02/13/2005 12:09:54 PM PST by SuzyQue
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To: SuzyQue

Sorry Suzy, that doesn't rise to the definition of overtly hostile in my book. I myself wouldn't have turned my back on my daughter, and that's really all I can accurately say.


88 posted on 02/13/2005 12:15:52 PM PST by Melas
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To: Wneighbor

Its a horrifying thing to real people. I'm glad they kicked her out! Bull on touchy feely! It must break Allens heart. Its SIN no matter how you look at it.


89 posted on 02/13/2005 12:16:28 PM PST by Old anti feminist
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To: ichabod1
Alan Keyes will not condone what he does not believe. Call him a hard-liner. The daughter sounds like she understands.

Is that even an issue? I don't think anyone expect Dr. Keyes or anyone else to condone the behavior or give it his blessing. However, I don't see how he can simply write his own child out of his life either. There are many options between those two extremes.

90 posted on 02/13/2005 12:18:04 PM PST by Melas
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To: Melas

You seem to see this as only Keyes' choice.


91 posted on 02/13/2005 12:20:03 PM PST by k2blader (It is neither compassionate nor conservative to support the expansion of socialism.)
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To: k2blader

If I'm in err there, I would like to hear it. It is at this time my understanding that Dr. Keyes will not speak to his daughter. If indeed she won't speak to him, I'd be glad to come down hard on her for being cruel to her father.


92 posted on 02/13/2005 12:24:17 PM PST by Melas
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To: Melas
My children know that they'll always find love on my doorstep. I might not always agree with them, I might not approve, but I'll always love them.

So for you, love is de facto acceptance?

93 posted on 02/13/2005 12:25:43 PM PST by papertyger (If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.)
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To: papertyger
My children know that they'll always find love on my doorstep. I might not always agree with them, I might not approve, but I'll always love them.

So for you, love is de facto acceptance?

Did I not clearly say above that I might not always agree with my children, or approve of their actions? I'm stuck wondering what the hell you mean by acceptance.

94 posted on 02/13/2005 12:29:16 PM PST by Melas
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To: Melas
I don't have access to the full story, but based on the excerpts on this thread, and taking it *in context* this was what I gleaned about whether or not they're talking to each other and why:
Maya, 19, says her parents cut her off because of who she is -- "a liberal queer." Tomorrow, she will take her private dispute with her dad into the open. She is scheduled to make her debut as a political animal, speaking at a rally in Annapolis sponsored by Equality Maryland, the state's gay rights lobby.

...

She wrote to her parents to tell them about tomorrow's speech, but says she got no response.

Maya took a certain action and received a certain reaction. Is the latter not acceptable to you? What do you think her parents should say about her speaking for a homo-rights lobby that they haven't said already?
95 posted on 02/13/2005 12:34:46 PM PST by k2blader (It is neither compassionate nor conservative to support the expansion of socialism.)
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To: Scenic Sounds

http://www.civilrights.org/library/detail.cfm?id=28219


Hundreds Set to Rally for Fairness in Annapolis on Valentine's Day
Maya Marcel-Keyes, Daughter of Alan Keyes, Joins Judy Shepard as a Speaker

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
February 11, 2005

Dan Furmansky, Executive Director
301-587-7500 w
301-461-4900 c



ANNAPOLIS -- Just two weeks after an anti-gay rally in Annapolis decrying legal protections for families headed by same-sex couples, Equality Maryland, Maryland's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) advocacy organization, announced today a pro-fairness rally in front of the Maryland State House to coincide with the organization's annual lobby day on February 14. The rally, scheduled for 5:00 p.m., will feature community leaders, extraordinary Maryland citizens, elected officials, as well as Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard. Mrs. Shepard is a vocal supporter of hate crimes initiatives throughout the country and heads the Matthew Shepard Foundation. Its mission includes developing solutions to problems that are rooted in ignorance and hatred.

A notable addition to the roster of speakers is Maya Marcel-Keyes, a self-described "young queer activist," who is the daughter of ultra-conservative Alan Keyes, a political commentator who recently lost his bid for an Illinois Senate seat.

"Given the harsh rhetoric that has come from Alan Keyes over the past several years, many in the LGBT community will relate to Maya's story, and understand the complexities she faces in disagreeing so fundamentally with someone she loves," said Executive Director Dan Furmansky. "It shows a tremendous amount of bravery and strength for someone to open up their heart and expose their life to the public in order to be an agent of change, and I commend Maya for doing just that."

Ms. Marcel-Keyes grew up in Darnestown, MD. She attended high school at Oakcrest Preparatory School, a conservative Catholic school for girls in McLean, VA. After graduation, she spent a year in the south of India, where she worked for a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) focused on tribal rights. She plans to attend Brown University in the fall.

The rally will focus partly on key elements of the 2005 legislative agenda, which includes defeating any anti-gay legislation, as well as passing the Medical Decision Making Act and Hate Crimes Penalties Act. Other speakers addressing the crowd include parents of children who are gay, children of gay parents, elected officials, clergy, and leaders within the LGBT African-American community.

"Right now, it literally feels like open season on LGBT individuals in this country," Furmansky said. "We can't just sit around while hate crimes are on the rise, children of gay couples are left without the same protections as other children, transgender individuals are victims of baseless violence and discrimination, LGBT individuals are demonized, and anti-gay organizations are working furiously to break down the separation of church and state. It's time to say 'enough is enough'!"


96 posted on 02/13/2005 12:36:38 PM PST by Ellesu
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To: phil1750
Her lover is not allowed in my home and this has caused my daughter to miss all major holidays. I have explained to her that her immoral choices has consequences.

You could also say that your refusal to accept your daughter's lover means that you no longer have your entire family together for holidays.

Your choices have consequences as well, but if you're happy with them, that's what matters.

97 posted on 02/13/2005 12:40:51 PM PST by Amelia (Still cynical after all these years....)
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To: Melas
How very logical. I can't fault your logic at all, but we're not talking about logic here, but familial relationships. Relationships between humans with feelings

I disagree, and I'm well aqauinted with the "feelings" rejoinder. People don't use logic because they are unfeeling, they use logic because it's fair. It doesn't favor anyone. It's really the only way disagreeing parties can quarrel without resorting to "dirty tricks" (read fallacious reasoning)

Now carping against logic because one is not familiar with its precepts , or resent its immunity to temper tantrums (which is usually the case) is another matter entirely. No black and white issue can't be made gray if you spin it hard enough.

I'm not implying you do these things, but I am implying you are subject to being swindled by them.

What a petty, petty man I'd be if I turned my back on her for not seeing things my way.

We aren't discussing your independent daughter, we're discussing Keyes very dependent daughter who does owe him an explanation, so all that is just posturing.

Be that as it may, you'd be a foolish foolish man to reject a G-d for a daughter that rejects you, and make no mistake, it is a very personal rejection.

98 posted on 02/13/2005 12:54:22 PM PST by papertyger (If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.)
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To: MadIvan

The Gay Mafia loves to make martyrs of those who's family
will not accept their perversion.


99 posted on 02/13/2005 1:17:55 PM PST by SweetCaroline (Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and lean yourself upon him... Psalm 37:7)
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To: bvw

"So you would say Ted Kaczynki's brother David should have loved Ted, unconditionally?"

What's that supposed to mean?


100 posted on 02/13/2005 1:21:39 PM PST by marajade
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