Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
How about a summary with fewer pesky words:
1991:
% of women cheating = 10%
% of men cheating = 22%
2002:
% of women cheating = 15%
% of men cheating = 22%
Does this take into account people (male and female) who lie? You can make statistics say anything.
\;^)
Roger that. Found me a beautiful Ukrainian girl who adores me and I couldn't be happier. Sure, her English isn't great but this can be a plus in many ways.
If I heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times. "Dame plata. DAME PLATA!!!"
On this forum, most of the comments on threads like this seem to degenerate to "all women are evil" very quickly. I apologize if I misunderstood your statement, but you might want to be aware that one can read it to imply that all women are evil...
Then brush up on your Spanish. A gringo who can speak the lingo is like a bigtime babe magnet for latina chix. But if you don't speak Spanish, most likely you will get a cold brushoff.
Husband-Mart
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York
where a woman may go to choose a husband from
among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors,
and the men increase in positive attributes as the
shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to
any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but
if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except
to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a
husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself,
"Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder
what's further up?" So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have
jobs and love, kids.
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I
wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs,
love kids and are extremely good looking. Hmmm, better"
she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"
The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have
jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help
with the housework.
"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must
be more further up!" And again she heads
up another flight The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely
good looking, help with the housework and have a strong
romantic streak.
"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting
me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor
3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.
This floor
exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping Husband-Mart and have a nice day.
Hablo espanol un poquito. Pero e' menor que en el pasado por que vivo en Seattle, un ciudad que no tiene Latinas. Que Malo!
"Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to"
The only thing harder than being a woman is having to listen to how hard it is to be a woman. :)
I've known 4 cheaters so far in my life-- 3 of them were women and all 3 of those ended in bitter divorce.
Well said, and I might add a truism I have learned
directly and indirectly over the years. Here it is.
By the time a man begins to believe that his wife
might be thinking about cheating, she already has,
TWICE.
Got it.
,,, what drug are you on?
*LOL* Can't argue with that.
Wait till some American women take an interest and help her with the language...Her fist words in perfect English...."The house belongs to me". LOL
Ooops... well I would. It's a wife's duty to care for her man. Otherwise, he may find someone to do it!
Oh great! You live in Seattle. Full of bony, pasty-faced, leftwing chix with purple hair. A typical date there would be to hang out at a Rave Club followed by latte sipping at Starbucks.
LOL I can cook too :o)
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