Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
There is no proof. Men can be monogamous and enjoy marriage.
Like a very successful guy with the ladies once told me, it's a numbers game the more you talk to, the closer you are to finding the one that is right for you.
Sounds like a good show.
Perhaps Cacique will have a better result. I'd suggest using biblical references as observable facts are not enough.
Can you now explain to me how my stomach acids break down a delicious, hearty meal? Good grief.
Thanks. I'm glad you said it. It's a lie of the devil that we can't be monogamous. Anyone who makes that claim, I'd love them to sit their young children down and explain it as such.
But now there's DNA testing, the WILD card! No more passing off children as the father's if it's not true!
No, I think British women have held that title for a few generations, but American women are catching up.
Denny Crane: "There are two places to find the truth. First God and then Fox News."
Denny Crane: "There are two places to find the truth. First God and then Fox News."
"Killer sperm"?? Heck, I knew there was weaponry involved, but who'da thunk!
Lol, this is the kind of stuff that makes FR the information and entertainment mecca of the web!
It was either on the Discovery channel or PBS. A good theory with decent research but still flawed in not separating humans from their basic reptilian instinct.
Au contraire. I once found a second use for the ear protection headset I bought for the firing range.....
And yes, I was the only one laughing at the time....(Putting on flame suit)
LOL
I need one of those, too.
Heheheehe! I have no compassion for women like that. They give the rest of us decent chicks a bad rap.
Not on my planet.
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