Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
My wife made sure my teen-age oldest daughter is an excellent cook, knows how to sew, and clean. She believes in teaching good life skills
I made sure my teen is a competent shot with rifle and pistol, as well as knowing advanced knife-fighting techniques. I believe in teaching good life skills too 8-)
A recent book on genetics and evolution ("The Red Queen") commented on more recent research that found the percentage closer to 20% in England
Cleveland Browns (all in good fun)
None really, just stirring a little controversy and giving a hint to the type of woman that has trouble getting men to listen to her. And the article makes clear there are a lot of them.
I seriously doubt that was ever your problem.
So9
Explain yourself. What do you mean by a "good kid". Do you mean a child that you have fathered, or a child in general?
Does that mean I get to give hints to the type of man who has trouble getting women to listen to them?...:)
This assumes that the prenup gets enforced. The courts may decide to enforce it, or may disregard it as "against public policy". Also, provisions regarding child support are prohibited (see here) and any prenup which would "provide a standard of living far below that which was enjoyed before the marriage" will also be unenforcable (see prior link). Also, it may be cancelled if one party "signed under duress" (here), where "duress" may be found to include "sign this or I won't marry you"
Bottom line: a prenup may not be enforcible against her, but certainly WILL be enforced against YOU
Prenups are mainly for the case where both parties come into the marriage with assets, both are past childbearing age and the husband needs to ensure that his assets go to his kids from prior marriage, instead of new wife. Do NOT count on a prenup being enforceable against a wife if you have significant assets and a well-paying job. The courts will probably not enforce any contract that would make some irate feminist columnist upset
My buddy married the cute blond at work, but she soon started a hot arrangement with her neighbor and took off with him. As soon as my friend learned about it, he filed for divorce and had the goods on her. Her lawyer suggested she act like she was repentant and go back to her husband. She did, and shortly afterwards she filed for divorce and took her hubby for all he had. He was unable to use the infidelity ploy as he had taken her back. Lawyers are scum and so are faithless females like her.
Of course I am.
However, the thread is about those women who cheat, and my post was in reference to the complaint of many of them that their man wouldn't listen to them talk.
Some of those women are married to louts, but many simply aren't saying anything their husband could stay awake listening to, or could understand if he did.
They are booooring and resent the fact that he noticed.
By the way, there is a spin-off thread HERE
So9
Translation: if they get pregnant, it's the hubby that's on the hook for child support, not you.
Ahhh, almost perfect! You just need to also insert "U of Michigan" as well as "Cleveland Browns" in the jokes....:)
Signed,
Lisa
A Diehard Bengals/Buckeye Fan
Does that mean I get to give hints to the type of man who has trouble getting women to listen to them?...:)
Yep, instruct away.
So9
Bump for later read...
It may well be true that "Sex in the City," "Desperate Houswives," and "Wife Swapping" are true reflections of our culture. How many wives watch that crap and begin to imagine they are the actresses in the shows? Then how many go beyond the imagination part and try it out? TV and movies are doing all they can to change the way people think and act, and it's not in a good, moral direction. God is weeping.
That is an interesting challenge! Unfortunately, I've got to get to bed, as 6am will roll around way too fast.
But I'm more than willing to give my take on what women really want, and need to GIVE, in order to try to have a healthy relationship with a man.
Believe me, I've learned from my many mistakes in the past, and am still learning. So, just call me "Dear Lisa", and feel free to ask away!
I'll be back tomorrow evening.
Marriage is only overrated if you're not happy. I, for one, love being married. But it's hard work and you have to find the right person. Men usually choose women more superficially than women choose men.
You're a cool dad :-)
Uhhh, Other men?
Totally agree.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.