Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
That would be great! I like.
After reading your profile I had to laugh. Good luck at the pound. :)
Divorce is liking living in Sweden with a 60% tax rate. With none of the services!
Actually American divorce is (for the moron men) like living in North Korea!
Yup. My mother taught me to cook :-)
We're more impressed with gifts of chocolate and jewelry...sw
LOL!
Women are now our equals?
You've obviously been here. ;-)
Actually, you also have alot of Asian women here, if that's your thing. They tend to be Sino Princesses from Hong Kong and the Pearl River Delta who'll drain your wallet, however.
Amen.
We die laughing at the Cialis ads. Bob's face is just too cute sometimes.
Put another log on the fire,
Cook me up some bacon and some beans,
Then go put another log on the fire,
Then come and tell me why yer leavin' me?
Old Country Western song by Shel Silverstein. I never did figure out just why she was leavin'... ; )
What is the main difference between Cialis and Viagra? I know it sounds like a lead in to a comedy punchline but what is the difference?
Of course there were, but just not in such public situtations, and not on network TV.
You're right to be skeptical of surveys. I am reading a book (The Third Chimpanzee, by Jared Diamond) which has a chapter on the purported evolutionary basis for adultery. The author cites a researcher who took some blood samples from parents and newborns in the course of other research. He found to his horror (in the late 1940s, mind you) that 10-20% of children were conceived by someone other than the husband. If you count women who cheat without becoming impregnated the total percentage of cheaters might be much higher. (By its very nature the study was unable to track unfaithful men, but I have no reason to think the percentage is lower.)
As I recall the article said that 15% of women had cheated. It seems unrealistic to paint the other 85% with the same brush.
It seems to me that society has dismantled the old model for marriage and relationship, but hasn't replaced it with anything workable.
If this thread had been
about why guys cheat, pictures
of Anna et al
would have filled the thread
within the first ten posts. But
a thread about gals
had to go this long
before a pic showed up, and
I -- a guy! -- did it
just to be polite
and give the gals some place to
rest their weary eyes . . .
Hey, I sew, cook, try to clean...Have a degree in home ec.
Been married almost 23 years. :) No kids though, that makes it much easier to stay together. (probably divorce, too, but I hope not)
They ought not to believe the Cosmo hype. Besides that's a figment of men's imaginations who think they know what we want. Not every woman wants a beeber the size of a country fair cucumber or marathon porn sex. I would settle for two hours instead of four :o)
You uppity women I don’t understand Why you gotta go and try to act like a man, But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink You’d better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed That’s what I to my baby said, Women’s liberation is a-going to your head, Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Early every morning you’re out on the street Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet. You gave up your maiden form for lent And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.
Every single brakeman that’s ever come along Had a little woman always tellin’ him that he’s wrong. Eve said to adam, ¡°here’s an apple you horse¡± And delilah defoliated samson’s moss.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed That’s what I to my baby said, Women’s liberation is a-going to your head, Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras, Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean And your coffee makes my hair turn green.
So damn emancipated in your mind and your body, Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate. If you can’t love a male chauvinist You’d better cross me off your shopping list.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed That’s what I to my baby said, Women’s liberation is a-going to your head, Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
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