Praying to rocks will get you to nowhere
Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
"You're single, right?"
He's not the only one kiddo.
Go ahead. I usually get voodoo curses and pig's blood, but denigrating aspersions on my ancestors is a fitting substitute.
I'm actually happily married. But not to an American woman.
No such thing as a conservative Goddess.
man you guys are just upset that women are catching up to the immorality of the male species, not that it is anything to be proud of on the part of EITHER SEX from my viewpoint
I point to Italy where any man without a mistress is construed as socially inept.....it's like the Arab man with only one wife, sniff sniff.....
We won't mention Africa where wives are contracting AIDS from their stupid horny husbands at an alarming rate....
given the current generation of Chinese kids has a ratio of 3 boys to one girl, thanks to the combined policy of one child per family and the tradition of valuing male children over female, I think some polyandry is in order eh?
In Judaism, they have had these for thousands of years. It's called a Ketubah. In some ways it's a pity that pre-nups just became well known about 30 years or so ago.
Do I notice a hint of Canadian, eh?
HAHAHAhahaha....
An old adage from the hood. The bottom line is this, call it romance or sex, the word doesn't matter. What matters is whether it's there or not. In the 80s I knew a guy who specialized in married women. He never complained of a shortage because he was giving them that one thing.
"...In Judaism, they have had these for thousands of years. It's called a Ketubah...."
Yes, but that is religious in nature and will not fix the civil rights of the parties. My understanding is that a civil contract is still required because the court will not compel performance of a religious contract---violation of the First Amendment. Moreover, the civil contract should stipulate the grant of the "Get" to preclude the "agunah" problem. The court will compel compliance with a civil contract even if it relates to a religious observance.
Goddess (Conservative Christian, Law Student studying Mishpat Ivri)
"...no such thing as a conservative Goddess?..."
Probably not in your narrow little world. You are dismissed.
Please ping whoever I missed.
SO9
Then learn to talk about something interesting.
Most women have nothing to say that a man can even understand, much less be interested in.
SO9
I never cheated.
The problem in China is being exacerbated by the fact that foreign men living in China are real competition for the hearts of the Chinese ladies. Since the foreign men tend to treat women better than the native Chinese men do, the Chinese men have even fewer women to compete over.
The shortage of women is also encouraging mail-order bride and prostitution traffice between North Korea and China, acoording to ParaPundit. They are also finding that Vietnamese women are being kidnapped and taken to China as brides, according to the Wall Street Journal, "Vietnamese Women Are Kidnapped And Later Sold in China as Brides"
China even had to start a campaign called "Daughters are good as sons" to try to counter the prevaling misogynist culture which encourages people to abort or abandon their female children. They are also criminalizing selective abortion. China Faces A Shortage Of Girls
In Israel, it did/does.
I never went for it. For one thing, I don't want to the live the Lynyrd Skynyrd song "Gimme Three Steps". More importantly, I don't break up families. I'm far from a saint, but that just ain't right.
I almost married her once or three or four times, but I'm glad I didn't. Looking back at our relationship, I realize that one of my sole purposes was only to listen to her complain about the people she encountered during her day. I haven't done much dating since, but I do credit my experience with her for my not going after a doctorate in psychology. The thought of spending all that time listening to and perhaps helping people with their problems sorta lost its glamor.
Oooooo! The mooselimbs aren't going to like that!
Keep your head on your shoulders...
Every tme I have said something like this, I have been made fun of on this site. Yes, I am single. I will probably remain so. Not by choice, but due to necessity, safety, and reality(the school of hard knocks is a good teacher).
I am at the point that I, too, have given up on finding a good, loving, faithful conservative woman.Too many times, I have been decieved in the past, and have paid with heartache, and pain. SO,I am to the point, where, if God wants me to marry, He will have to send someone into, or back into, my life. Because, after some of the hurt I have experienced, along with others I know, I would rather touch the high voltage anode of a big screen tv, and get knocked on the floor, half-unconcious, for several minutes, than to ask a woman I really do not know, for a date nowdays. That may sound like I am crazy, but the shcok only hurts for a little while, at the most a couple of hours, but being decieved by someone you care about can scar your heart for YEARS.
BTW-- I am sure some women feel in a similar way, as I do,as this is NOT just a thing women do to men. My sister, who is a couple of years older than me, has also given up. We both feel that we will be alone, until we die, or are raptured, whichever comes first.
People today just seem to see each other as a "means to an end", men and women both. SO, it is no wonder, that it is hard to find a faithful, loving partner nowdays.
And NO, I will NOT take on a foreigner,(go to another country, to find a mate, and bring her back here) If I cannot find a decent, caring woman here in the US, and in the area, then, I will just supress the need for one, and stay occupied with other interests.
I do not want to again be used by a woman, just to get another man to notice her, or even to steal him from his steady girlfriend. I want a realtionship based on love, and will not just be another notch on a woman's bedpost.(I have had several woman tell me, that they expected sex on the first, or soon after ,date, and when I told them I could not accomadate them, they wanted nothing to do with me)I am sure most of the women here will say "no woman would do that", But I SWEAR, it does happen, nowdays.
SO, the conclusion I and other men have came to is, just forget it. It is not the funnest decision, but in the long run, it may be the safest one,, and the less painful one, over the long haul(case in point:: A man would be better off single, than to marry a woman, who only acted like she liked him, for financial, or other reasons, and then she would soon depart, saddling him with her bills and such). LIkewise,most women would do better, than to end up wiht a man like many I know, who think of women as"objects of entertainment", and are not what I would consider decent men.
In short, the dating situation today, is hopeless, unless you, as a man or woman, want to be used, and then, discarded.
NOW__ go on, and call me names, like usual.
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