Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
Good man, Cyber. I love dumplings...
LOL!!!
And the answer;
Me no quiero tus grandes fat hairy leggos. Donde esta el money? Demasiado effing bad, gringo.
Now THAT is what I call Spanglish!
FRiend, did you even look at that picture? A man who can't even pull his own pants up gets PPHHHT! from me. I have a 3-year-old that I expect to see his undies, but I want an adult man to dress himself.
Yeah... we've dropped a couple pegs.. HAHAHAhahaha...
In truth, I have never met even a Paulista who didn't have a major issue with relationships. My good friend Mara even had some psychotic family stories she shared with me from time to time. I'm sure there are some with stabel families, but you have to DIG! Find out about her family and how her parents behaved. Her psychosis will carry directly over into your relationship, I assure you.
When I was younger, there was an element of fun and chance in these relationships. I was fortunate to end the relationship and run right into my wife almost immediately. If I had spent years as a single beyond that point, it would have been cutting it close to have children. It didn't turn out to be a problem at all :) At my current age, I am blessed to have the amelia who is my wife in my life.
May I recommend:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/index.html
And Marriage on The Rock, by Jimmy Evans
http://www.majesticmedia.com/store/index.cfm?action=detail&id=31
2. Some pretty thing REALLLLYYYY snapped yer underdrawers, didn't she?
3. This inbred hatred of women.... How long have you hated your mommy?
4. There is no possible way you are married. None. Fortunately that means you will not breed without scientific help.
I'll let that last remark slide, only because I LOVE a woman in high heels and thigh highs. ;-)
That was my first thought.
Now where have I heard that before?
Everyone, male or female has to feel valued and special. When a spouse is not making the effort to engender those feelings, every day, the other spouse will find that comfort somewhere else. Working at a marriage is not an optional thing, if one is going to be married one has to work at it.
Like my granny use to say...when ya got them by the ba((s, their hearts and minds will follow....
"I've known 4 cheaters so far in my life-- 3 of them were women"
"Who did the women cheat with?"
Hey-- it wasn't ME if that's what you're suggesting!
Seriously-- two were with men I did not know and never met, and one was with a notable writer and magazine editor (who shall remain nameless) but lectures at Cal-Tech regarding matters of science and technology. My friends attended his lectures and apparently the wife got more out of them than the husband.
Of course, you know that for us Y-Chromosome carriers, blood flows either one way up or one way down, hence our (still) higher rate of infidelity.
This in an America, where there are laws to ensure that the workplace is a level playing field, where men and women are treated equally. Take those same men and women and put them in divorce court, and suddenly you find out that they are not equal. If it were so, 50% of men would get custody of the kids, child support and alimony.
The marriage contract is not fair for men. Don't sign one guys!
I have heard that there's a sizable community of Messianic Jews in Brazil but there are also a lot of anusim there as well. Here's an example:Passover with the Anusim and Honour our Portuguese Sephardi ancestors
Yes... we call that thinking with the wrong head. Perhaps the reason more women are cheating is revenge... Possible.
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