Breaking Report: Zarqawi Captured?

NewsJerks.com ^ | 2/6/2005 | Scott Michael

[govguy]

Abu Masab al-Zarqawi may have already been captured, this according to a source who contacted NewsJerks.com. The source said “Iraqi forces have captured Abu Masab al-Zarqawi and several of his high level associates.” The source contacted NewsJerks.com on January 20th of this year, several days before the announcement of the capture of Zarqawi’s top lieutenants.

NewsJerks.com originally sat on the story until the capture of Zarqawi’s top lieutenants. Then realizing the source was accurate to a certain point, decided to research more into the story. The source gave the news satire site three sources, form CNN, NSA, and the CIA, all of which verified his story. According to these officials “Zarqawi has been captured and is being held at an undisclosed location while he is getting interrogated.” NewsJerks.com has heard the location may be in Saudi Arabia, but cannot confirm that.

[GreenHornet]

What, again? How many times has this guy been captured now?

[FreedomPoster]

This story is so far beyond satire, it's not funny.

[billorites]

Am I still dead?
Hello?

[rhombus]

This story is so far beyond satire, it's not funny.

This story is a bad satore of satire.

[longtermmemmory]

Does this site get paid for us clicking to it?

Never heard of them.

[xJones]

I wish I had $100 for every time Zarqawi or Bin Laden have been captured. I missed the jackpot on when Arafat would be officially dead, and I could use the money.

[submarinerswife]

What, again? How many times has this guy been captured now?

To steal a quote from a fellow Freeper: Caught more times then clap at a Kennedy family reunion hehe

[South40]

[WayneM]

That's already 3 times today.

[RightWhale]

Yes, captured! Capture the SOB every day, twice on Friday.

[DannyTN]

LOL

[mrsmith]

Let's see: Maybe he's captured, but maybe he's mysteriously disappeared.

I'm no "end times" expert, but it occurs to me that he may have been "craptured".

[ElkGroveDan]

I wish I had $100 for every time Zarqawi or Bin Laden have been captured.

...or for every time Arafat has died.

[jocon307]

LOL! Is Baghdad Bob the new "Not this sh*t again guy"?

If they ever DO catch him, we won't believe it!

[processing please hold]

Again? I'm starting to think he has been cloned.

[xJones]

The source gave the news satire site three sources, form CNN, NSA, and the CIA, all of which verified his story.

Bud, when it comes to satire, you've got a long way to go. At least you tried, though.

[b4its2late]

newsjerks?

[drt1]

I will reply to this as I have at the time of the first 40 reports of Zarqawi's capture. Please wake me when he is really captured.

[Danae]

This must be capture number 2954 of that bastard.

I will believe it when I see his severed head.