SEMPER FI GENERAL
Posted on 02/06/2005 10:07:34 AM PST by quidnunc
People! People! (My goodness, what a lot of standing around.) Oh,
people! Yoo-hoo! Do fall in! Please? That’s better. Or getting better. You, Mister Private Johnson. Son? Yes, you. Could you please fall in, please? Thank you. Would you pretty please put out the cigarette? Why? Because, well … We don’t think you should smoke in ranks. It’s not good for your delicate health, which is always our first concern. Thank you, so much.
Welcome to the new military, gentlemen. As you know, I was recently, uh, counseled with for my public comments about how it’s supposedly "fun to shoot some people." Goodness, how these things do get out of hand. Can you imagine? A Marine talking about how he likes to fight, how he likes to go to war against bad guys, how he likes to lead his men against the enemy … . How did I so unpolitely put it? Oh yeah — against enemies "who slap women around for five years because they didn’t wear a veil." And did I really say it was a helluva (may I still say "helluva"?) lot of fun to shoot people like that?
Goodness gracious, America doesn’t need men like me on her side. I was proud to be called on the carpet. (Sniff.) Now maybe I can sleep at night.
Captain, may I borrow a tissue? Thank you so much.
No, gentlemen, the Marine Corps is no place for tough words, and for tough men with tough skin. Not this man’s Marine Corps. Oops. I didn’t mean to leave out the young ladies — uh, strong young virile women — in our beloved Corps. I hope I didn’t offend. If I did, I’ll apologize for that later. The line forms just over there behind the cosmetics counter. What I’m trying to do today is apologize for my too-candid language earlier. I really must learn some diplomacy.
I just hope the enemy wasn’t offended. We wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings, would we, lads?
(Pause)
(Longer pause)
Ahem. Now that NPR is no longer with us, men, let me tell you the difference between us and the enemy: Our enemy uses kids with Down Syndrome to act as suicide bombers. He slaughters innocent civilians regardless of age or sex. He cuts off the heads of foreigners, including Americans. He broadcasts his diatribes for immediate circulation by Al-Jazeera and the BBC. But an American general who uses strong language when talking about that enemy is" counseled" by a higher-ranking general and it goes on his record. Hey, it comes with the politically correct territory. It’s just one more damned thing you have to put up with if you’re bound and determined to serve your country.
And if you think there’s no politics in the United States military, you don’t know the United States military. And when you get to general grade, it’s thick on the ground. You have to watch where you step and how you step and what you step into. You don’t want to be too honest. I forgot that.
And I’ve paid the price. I’ve been properly humiliated in the press and lectured by my boss. But now you and I have to get on with the job of killing people and breaking things.
Because that’s what we do, you know. We kill people. And we break things. And we enjoy it. Because America needs bulldogs on her side of the fence, too.
And if the nice, politically correct among the effete eggheads we’re willing to kill and die for can’t take a little straight talk from a & $#@ing Marine assault battalion commander, then $% * & them! And their editors, too.
What the hell do they think we’re doing out here, anyway? Being & $#@ing sensitive to the delicate emotions of a bloody, murderous & $#@ing enemy? $% * & that! We’re going to kill ’em, stack ’em up like cord wood, and make ’em wish their fathers had never met their mothers!
And we’re going to enjoy it! Americans love to fight! No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country — he won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country! Be strong and of good courage. There is one source, O Athenians, of all your defeats: It is that your citizens have ceased to be soldiers!
So now that this charade is over, let’s get back out there and start filling body bags with parts of the enemy! I really can’t wait to get back into action again. And when he starts to quiver and shake and run, I’m going to personally shoot that son-of-a-$##@& Osama been Hidin’ with my ivory-handled pistol right between his beady little eyes. Or wherever it hurts the most.
On my command … fall the hell … OUT!
Oh, and Johnson, if I catch you smoking in the ranks again, I’m going to hang you from a & $#@ing yardarm.
It’s clear that the recent case of the straight-talking General James N. Mattis, a career infantry officer, U.S. M. C., demands a policy decision. Here’s what we would recommend: Give him another medal and tell him to carry on.
Wouldn’t you? Suppose you had a son or daughter headed into combat. Would you rather have your kid trained, led and shown the way by a Lieutenant General James N. Mattis, U.S. M. C., or by some product of the nearest group-therapy and anger-management class?
If you didn’t go too deep into some of the news stories, you might assume General Mattis was some kind of homicidal nutcase. Take (please) this oh-so-objective lede from the Associated Press:
Washington – A decorated Marine Corps general said, "It’s fun to shoot some people" and poked fun at the manhood of Afghans as he described the wars U.S. troops are fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.
It takes 21 paragraphs before this part of the general’s letter to the troops being deployed to Iraq is quoted:
"The enemy will try to manipulate you into hating all Iraqis. Do not allow the enemy that victory. With strong discipline, solid faith, unwavering alertness, and undiminished chivalry to the innocent, we will carry out this mission."
The spirit of Robert E. Lee lives.
There are many instances when the enemy should be encouraged to surrender peacefully. But how’s a gyrene to know when the figure approaching is about to give up or blow himself up? It takes quick reflexes and instant judgment.
We’ve long been fond of Admiral Bull Halsey’s words to the fleet on hearing the news that the Japanese had agreed to surrender in World War II:
"Apparently the war is over, though nothing has been signed yet. So in the meantime, if any enemy aircraft come into your area, shoot them down in a friendly manner."
Now that’s diplomacy.
Excellent article!
My sentiments exactly!
I can't believe this made the papers!
Perhaps there is still hope for Arkansas.
Semper Fi
This General is a hero. And the media STILL do not get that the majority of Americans want terrorists dead and are glad we have men like General Mattis who will fight the fight. Our military is full of hard core heroes, and thank God for that.
I would hope that General Mattis' "counselling" by his superiors amounted to no more than a behind closed doors guffaw about the MSM.
Posted by me on other threads about this subject but I think it bears repeating...
Speaking about killing the enemy, I just found out about this group the other day, and pass on the URL in the hope that some of you will find it a worthy cause.
http://americansnipers.org/index.html
Snipers in need have friend in States
By Lisa Burgess, Stars and Stripes
Pacific edition, Monday, May 17, 2004
A group of police and military snipers has started “Adopt a Sniper” to donate equipment to deployed military members. It’s the brainchild of Brian Sain, a police SWAT member for 15 years who works as a detective in the Port Arthur (Texas) Police Department.
Sain said he knows “what it’s like not to have the equipment you need.” In 1994, Sain said, “I watched a guy hold a baby out a door through my sniper scope. I couldn't see [well enough to shoot the man]; it was dark and I didn't have night-vision equipment.” As Sain watched helplessly, the man shot the baby in the back.
Sain said he is determined to make sure no deployed military sniper will ever be in that spot — unable to do his mission or worse yet, in danger, because he doesn’t have the right gear. In the six months since he started, Sain estimates that he’s sent at least $10,000 worth of sniper supplies to troops overseas.
Good stuff.
First Boykin, now Mattis. The military has been wussified by pro-Clinton generals like Clark and Shinseki.
Bush could act, if he weren't part of the problem.
Article right on. Thank from a Vet. of the Korean War.
I sent an email to the General congratulating him for retaining his testicular fortitude, and informing him that I appreciate the sacrifices that he and his Marines make. He sent an email back thanking us for our support and stated that he has recieved many other emails, all positive. He was very polite, and gracious and talked of the good of our country. Just what you would expect from a Real American.
BTTT
I was just talking to some cadets from the New Mexico Military Institute in the Roswell Walmart a few minutes ago. Sharp, smart and gung ho, one was headed on to USMA and another to AFA,another was accepting her commission this June. I told them some of my " this is no shit" stories of my cadet days, left them laughing.
I wonder if I was ever that young.
I don't think I'll be donating anything to any government snipers, military or otherwise, until Lon Horiuchi and his pals are in jail. Til then, I think I'll just let the government use the tax dollars it has, thanks.
You are so correct! Who do you want leading your son into battle - a coward or a leader!
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