Heteroflexible -- or Fauxmosexual?

Girls barely in their teens are exploring their sexuality. And more and more often, that exploration includes same-sex behavior.

The trend has, inevitably, spawned new words. Some say they're "heteroflexible." Others sneer that they're merely "fauxmosexual."

Is it really new? More importantly -- to parents and to the teens themselves -- what does it mean? Lisa M. Diamond, PhD, assistant professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, Salt Lake City, studies young women's sexual orientations, sexual attractions, and sexual behavior.

"Women's sexual behavior is more influenced by cultural and situational and even educational factors than men's," Diamond tells WebMD. "So given that today there is more visibility of same-sex behavior, it's likely there is an increase in young women experimenting with same sex behavior -- and talking openly about their experiments."

That's true, says Charlotte Patterson, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Virginia. Patterson's work focuses on sexual orientation and human development.

It has certainly always been true that teen girls are quick to pick up on the latest fab fads. Some 40 years ago, it was teen girls who ushered in Beatlemania. The sexual undercurrents of this phenomenon -- fairly mild by today's standards -- shocked parents of the '60s.

Dick Hall, assistant headmaster at The Lovett School in Atlanta, says teen girls' exuberant embrace of their sexuality can be a good thing.

"With the Madonna-Britney influence and all, things are much more outrageous in the popular culture these days and the girls pick it up," Hall tells WebMD. "I don't see it as unhealthy. For the most part it is girls being proud of their femininity and their strengths and not being timid or taking secondary roles. It is often a matter of pride, although they can also fall into those roles that do dim the light of individuality."

But what's happening today goes far beyond the Britney-Madonna tease-the-boys kiss. It's more than a fad.

Anthony D'Augelli, PhD, professor of human development at Penn State University, hasn't yet heard the term "heteroflexible." But he says girls today are exploring their sexuality in different ways than their mothers and grandmothers did.

"There really are changes in the way young people look at sexuality that are different than other generations," D'Augelli tells WebMD. "They don't stigmatize diversity the way we did." He says the media present positive images of woman-oriented women, and this will make a big difference in females. "There really are changes that are going on in the younger groups: destigmatized sexual discussions, sexual experimentation, and so on."

What about the boys? The experts who spoke with WebMD agree that although there's much more exposure to sexuality today than in previous generations, the phenomenon of teens openly exploring same-sex sexuality is largely limited to females.

"Since females are allowed by our culture to explore sex-role diversity -- they can be more tomboyish than boys can be sissyish -- there is more flexibility for them to explore sexuality," D'Augelli says. "There are more girls in my research that explore bisexuality than boys."

D'Augelli notes that boys are much more likely to be penalized for exhibiting behavior that goes against the norm than are girls. Patterson agrees but suggests that there's more to it than that.

"Certainly men are more stigmatized for non-heterosexual behavior than women are, because of men's higher status in our society," she says. "But there is also some degree to which our inbuilt nature as sexual creatures is different. The survey data always show women are more likely to describe themselves as bisexual than men. So you would expect on that basis alone to see more women experimenting."

So what are these young women really up to? Are they really heteroflexible? Or are they just going through a fauxmosexual phase?

"A lot of the problem is we have very simplistic ideas of sexuality and development," she explains

It isn't simple because humans aren't simple. Our sexuality is one of the most complex things about us. From time immemorial, humans have engaged in what Diamond calls "an incredible variety of behaviors." And at different times of their lives -- particularly in their youth -- individuals may engage in different kinds of sexual behavior.

"There are sexual behaviors people engage in at some early times in their lives that aren't necessarily consistent with what they end up doing," Diamond says. "Our only language is to say it's only a phase. But it is more accurate to say our sexuality is such that it is possible for people to desire and want something that runs counter to their predominant sexual disposition."

That's hard to understand for people who subscribe to what Diamond calls "the Lay's Potato Chip" theory of sexual orientation: You can't have just one.

"It's the old way of seeing things: The 'you can't have just one' theory," she says. "The old idea is that if you have one same-sex affair, you are a lesbian. But some girls do just have one same-sex affair. It is a real phenomenon. It is neither a phase nor repression. It just results from the complicated nature of sexuality during the adolescent years."

Diamond is eight years into a study in which she's following 80 women who -- between the ages of 18 and 25 -- originally identified themselves as not being exclusively heterosexual.

About half the women changed the way they identified themselves during the course of the study. Although some came to identify themselves as heterosexual, most who switched identities did so by giving up labels altogether.

A woman's sexual identity does not necessarily define her sexual attractions and sexual behaviors.

"It is such a big label in our culture," Patterson says. "Before a child is born, everyone wants to know if it's going to be a boy or girl. We wonder about their sexuality, too, and we all have our intuitions about our own kids. But when you compare parents' ideas to what the kids tell us they have become -- well, I don't know if parents are very good at telling the answer in advance."

Constantly worrying about a child's sexual orientation is an exercise in futility, Diamond says. And it may say more about the parent than the child.

"Rather than monitor their kid for signs of gayness, they should know that what you see isn't necessarily what you end up getting," Diamond says. "Not every sign of same-sex sexuality means homosexuality. But parents have to become comfortable with more sexual ambiguity than they have been used to. And some of this may be reflecting the fact that if I don't know what is happening with my child's sexuality, I am not sure what is going on with my own sexuality. Remember, fluidity is the way we are made."

"Parental reactions are important," D'Augelli says. "They have to get used to the fact that things are changing, and this is not a bad thing. Young people will eventually get to an identity that feels comfortable to them. Things are so different now."

Puberty is a time of turbulence. Traditionally, we've tried to get a handle on human sexuality by trying to fit everything into just a few simple categories. What's going on now, D'Augelli says, is a the rediscovery of true human development.

"That is scary, because most people think of their kids as heterosexual," he says. "Any divergence is scary, even for the most liberal parent. But more and more parents are going to have to deal with their children coming out in more and more ways at earlier ages. And parents are going to need to deal with what it means for them to be a sexual person."

The following was excerpted from americanwomensuck.com

I am the medical director of our local hospital's intensive/critical care unit (commonly called ICU in medical jargon). My job as medical director is to assure the quality of care given to our patients of whatever age. I also am one of the main physicians who works in the ICU, given my board certifications in pulmonology and critical care medicine.

Last night, I was called into manage a case involving a young patient who had apparently overdosed on some kind of illicit substance. There are a million designer drugs out there, but the one that is currently winding its way through the state college two towns over is Ecstacy. Ecstasy is hardly a benign drug. Ecstacy is technically 2,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine or MDMA. It is a nerve terminal poison and can cause extensive central nervous system damage in addition to tachyardia (fast heart beat), respiratory problems and potentially cardiovascular collapse if intoxication is not treated. Rapid increases in body temperature and high blood pressure occur and can exacerbate underlying medical conditions. It ain't a pretty picture, men.

Well, my patient turned out to be a 19 year old AW from the state college who had been drinking and doing Ecstasy at a party near town when she collapsed and her "friends" brought her into the ER. I got the call about ten minutes later after they had started ventilatory support and started to treat her tachycardia with standard therapy. Alcohol and Ecstacy are an especially bad combination because death can result from a multitude of causes, but normally from choking on vomit as both are highly emetogenic forms of substance abuse.

While I was examining the patient, I found that she smelled to high heaven of beer and alcohol, was barely dressed despite how cool it was outside, and that her panties were ripped to shreds. In such cases, it is standard operating procedure at the hospital, and in accordance with state law, to ascertain whether a sexual assault may have occurred. The girl was unresponsive and unable to answer, so I had two nurses witness while I did the pelvic. She had signs of serious vaginal trauma that could have indicated potential rape, and semen was visibly leaking. I got the "rape kit" and gathered the necessary evidence and called the police. The police showed up and certified the evidence and procedure with me and the nurses and proceeded to question this young woman's friends.

It turns out that she was drinking and taking ecstacy in high hopes of "pulling a train" , or having sex with multiple partners (unprotected of course) as part of some type of initiation ritual for some type of social group, and her friends that were with her had provided both the drugs and alcohol. Her "big sister" then started screaming at me that I had better save her if I didn't want to be sued for malpractice and that she was going to "f*ck me up" if this sterling example of modern AW-hood was harmed in the long run.

I told the little AW whore that possession of this drug was a felony under state law, that providing alcohol to the underaged was also a crime. I also told her that threatening a physician in the pursuit of his duties was another crime. All of this took place in front of the local police officers, who took the whole drunken and drugged-out lot of three boys and three girls into custody and charged them. The "big sister" also tried to claw her way past me into the ICU to see the young AW and had to be physically restrained when informed that she had no power to approve any treatments for the girl as she was not a relative. I then had the unhappy duty of reporting the girl's condition to her parents, who immediately told me to do whatever it took. Later, the police took the disgusting partiers down to the city jail, where they are suffering extremely bad hangovers after their night of illicit debauchery. They are also facing a minimum of two years each in the state penitentiary for possession of illegal drugs, drunk driving, furnishing alcohol to a minor and making threats to a physician in the performance of his duties. I know the district attorney personally, and I believe he fully intends to make an example of this trash.

This morning, the girl's condition had started to improve but it will be a slow go for her. The parents arrived at the hospital and were there when I went in for my morning rounds. They were in serious denial until I showed them the results of the girl's toxicology screens indicating illicit drug and alcohol. They are still in denial, but they are going down to the jail to see the "friends", who are going to get their asses kicked but good.

Of course, the "big sister" said that the 19 year old AW did all of this voluntarily because she wanted to be a "slut-sister" like the other "slut-sisters" in that social organization.

Makes me glad that I am taking the extra effort to teach my boys right from wrong.

And here's the follow-up:

Well, as of last night we discharged Miss Chemical Dependency to the custody of the state psychiatric facility. She has some cognitive and motor skill deficits from the combination of the MDMA nerve terminal poisoning and anoxia from her breathing difficulties secondary to her intoxication. She will be a guest of the state for a long, long time to come for possession of illicit narcotics, underage alcohol consumption and conspiracy. Her parents were trying like hell to get me to release her directly to her custody, but our county judge ordered her into the state facility and there is no way in heaven that I would foist that piece of rejected flesh back upon an unprepared public.

As for her "friends", you know the ones who she allowed to pressure her into having unprotected sexual intercourse with multiple partners under the influence of illicit narcotics and alcohol, they were charged with the following: supplying alcohol to a minor, supplying/possession/transport of illicit narcotic substances, assault, physical battery, interference with a physician during the performance of emergency duties, driving while intoxicated, sexual assault, interference with a police officer in the performance of official duties, resisting arrest, making false statements and grand theft auto. Seems they forgot to tell the guy who owned the car that they 'borrowed" it. All in all, they are facing a total maximum possible combined sentence of 275 years in prison if convicted. The DA said he will most likely plea bargain it down with a minimum jail time of ten to twenty with 75% of the sentence required before consideration for parole. Basically, the brats are going to the pen for a minimum of 7 1/2 years in prison each. As for Miss Chemical Dependency, she faces a very rough uphill battle. Not only will she be in prison, but she will most likely not be able to do much more than sit in her wheelchair and drool.

All of this because she had to live life at the end of her clitoris rather than showing the spinal fortitude and character to not get involved with such filth to start. What a waste.

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